In the past 24 hours, some serious stuff has gone down, with my son's birthmother at the center of it. I posted about it on my personal blog, and asked for some help via one of my online support groups. But I'm not going to write about it here. Why not? Because it's not about me.

This isn't my story to share. I've asked for help before on the Open Adoption Support forum, and even that felt a bit like betraying trust. I really the needed the advice at the time, and I got a lot of support, so I don't regret it. I just think it's important to know what to share, when, where, and... more

In 1964 the Civil Rights Act was signed into law. In 1964 my parents were ages ten and twelve. I was not even a dream to them I am sure! In some ways it seems long ago but in reality it was only forty-five years ago. This was only forty-five years ago. Less than a half a century ago there was a large part of the population that believed blacks and whites should not share bathrooms, water fountains or restaurants.

Introduced... more

For those of us who have adopted Internationally, a Homeland Trip to your child's birth country is normally something that crosses our minds. When looking through adoption magazines or surfing adoption websites you often see guided tours to China or Korea being advertised.

When we were in Ethiopia picking up our girls I had a urge to return when they were teenagers so they could tour the country and see the culture once again before becoming adults. Our plan was to come back in ten years when our kids were 18,18, 16 and 13. The trip costs quite a bit and we never really thought... more

I was asked a question recently, and, as I answered it, I realized that I hadn't ever thought of it before. But it was a good question, and one worth pondering by all adoptive parents.

Was adopting transracially something that came naturally to you?

Ever since I was 13, the picture in my head of my child - my daughter - was a little redheaded, blue-eyed Russian girl. It's not like I was going to ask the Russian Consulate for that specifically. That was just what I saw.

When it became clear that Russia was not going to work out because... more

Summer time is an ideal time for visits for some of those participating in open adoptions. Kids are out of school. The weather is usually nice; hot but sunny and a prime time for doing things outdoors. If you haven’t made plans for your summer visits, do so now! The leaves will be falling again before you know it!

Below are some ideas for summer visits but as always keep in mind that some of the ideas will vary depending on exactly how open your adoption is, the type of relationship you have with your child’s adoptive parents, the leeway you have... more

My son's Adoption Day is coming up in August. Last year, he was in preschool for the first time. Although I had planned cupcakes and a story reading, both by yours truly, stress happened, and he got store bought bakery cookies and his teachers read the story.

This year I'd like to do more. Jack has already decided that he wants cupcakes. A friend of mine is starting her own cupcake-making business, so I'm on top of that. (Think the school would frown upon it if I served the green mojito cupcakes? Yeah, probably.) I'll certainly at least send a story. Beyond that, I'm... more

Yesterday I talked about some programs and places that exist to help you as you face an unplanned pregnancy. The truth is that no everyone is looking out for your best interests or even the best interest of your child. Knowing some things to avoid or some red flags to look for at places that should be beneficial to you might help you discern what is and is not a good program for you to utilize.

Red Flag #1:

They offer conditions to their... more

Robyn gave a fantastic list of questions to ask potential agencies just yesterday. (Seriously, if you haven't read through the list and printed it, please go check it out.) She hit on one question, about their services, that I thought needs to be expanded upon and given a ranking of Most Important Question to Ask. Here's what I'd ask:

Do you provide post-adoption services to families? What is and is not provided? For how long are these services available to families?

I'm... more

A friend recently emailed me.

Did you hear about that news story where the birth mom in an open adoption kidnapped the daughter she placed?

No, in fact, I had not heard that story. Because that's not what happened. A mentally unstable woman working in the nursery at a church kidnapped someone else's child. She did not kidnap a child she relinquished for adoption because she has never placed a child for adoption.

Smith... more

A couple of months ago I wrote the post Preperation 101 Must Have Thick Skin. This evening was a long one for my family. I thought of the prior post as my seven year old was yelling "I hate You." and "You are not my mom anymore". The worst was, "No one loves me." The funniest was, "You don't love me, your husband either." Maybe funny isn't the right word, but humor is a must or crazyness will follow quickly.

So what caused this outrage? I'm still not sure. Enu has been wanting to have a friend over lately and Mita has a friend over tommorow. As I actually had the phone in my hand... more