I hate when I worry about things that I have little control over, but I have to say that North Korea worries me. The news is full of stories about the plight of the people within its borders and talks of nuclear threats. While a part of me worries about the people (adults and children), the greater part of me worries about my son.

My worry really started with 9-11. I know it seems like I’ve gone off target, but I’ll wrap it all back together. After 9-11, I watched the people around me and I was saddened. Friends and family, that until that moment I had always viewed... more

We are moving over the next couple of weeks. This is significant for everyone in the family, and although many times I feel like I will be most impacted (I know I will end up doing most of the packing) I think it will have the most significant effect on Little J.

His dad and I, after all, are adults. Plus, we are the ones who engineered this move. His brother is almost seven and although I think it'll be a little hard on him we're going to be able to keep him in his same elementary school until school's out. Big J also helped us decide on the house. We went to see it as a possible... more

Adoptees arguably have a hereditary advantage: they are often the offspring of highly principled women. Think about it. Women who surrender their children to adoption have made two physically and emotionally strenuous decisions: to carry their babies to term and to give those babies away. Neither is easy, and doing the first makes the second all the more difficult. Maybe it's no wonder that McDaniels, who says his adoptive parents gave him the opportunities to become the man he is, turned out to have the resilience and ingenuity he has shown in... more

When starting the process of international adoption, you learn early on that there are quite a few choices that are all yours to make. A very good source of questions and answers is right here on Adoption.com. Loading up on the info may overwhelm at first, but since you will eventually get to each and every concern, you might as well get as much as you can up front.

You can start by contemplating which ethnic group your child’s roots will grow from. If you have a preference, this can dictate which part of the world you’ll... more

Ever wonder where you got those beautiful eyes of yours? Most people know and they take it for granted that they would. Adoptees in closed adoptions rarely know and they do wonder.

Ask five adoptees why they are searching and you may receive five different responses. The need to search is sometimes difficult to put into words. Not all adopted persons really know exactly why they are searching. For many, it feels like an almost instinctual need. Some adoptees go for many years certain that they will never want to search, and then something changes, and suddenly they have a... more

Just how many Americans are adopting kids from China nowadays?

We're waiting for our second child from China. The first time we did this, our travel group -- all the people from our agency whose paperwork went through in the same batch -- consisted of seven families. That was in 2003. This time, it looks like we'll be traveling with twenty families. And we're with one of the smaller, more personal agencies. Twenty families. Who could keep track of all those people?

My friends at Traveling Daughters are on the same schedule as we are, going back for another child. They're with one of the bigger... more

In my last post I discussed different hurdles to communication in open adoption and reunion situations. In this post, let's consider some of the different ways to overcome these hurdles, some of which are very simple and most of which apply to any relationship in our lives.

Distance – This one really can’t be overcome physically, so we have to put the distance between us away in our head and work on communicating by phone, letter, and email. Make a time every month to sit down and either call or write to the other family. You will be glad you did!

Jobs - Jobs get in the way of everything for people sometimes. As far as jobs good sometimes we have to let our work know that... more

You know, I wasn’t planning on writing anything today. I figured with it being the weekend and all, that I would take some time away from the computer, and spend the day with my boys. After all, what better way to spend the day, than mommy and her boys at the mall? My husband liked the idea of having some quiet time in the house, and I had been making an extra effort lately, to spend more time with my adopted stepson, and to rebuild parts of our relationship that have been damaged along our journey.

On Friday morning, I had written him a little “love... more

Tony and I just got home from our VERY FIRST adoption party.

If you are not adopting through the foster care system, this will more than likely not apply to you, however, it is very interesting to learn about.

The scene: Skating Rink about 100 miles away (for convenience to all families). The time: 11 a.m. to 1:45 p.m. The children: 100 children, ages 7 and up, individuals and siblings.

We got there at 9:30 a.m., and were right on time. There were already about 20 different families inside.

We were given books to review that had the profiles of all the children expected to be at the party, and a little "grab bag" of free goodies.

Quite... more

One of the most important things in an open adoption is communication between adoptive and birth/first parents. As in any relationship there are sometimes hurdles to communication between the parties in open adoption and those in reunion. What are some of these hurdles?

Distance – Sometimes in open adoption the distance between families can be difficult to overcome when the only communication is by phone or letters. It is easy to put off calling or writing a letter.

Jobs – Sometimes our jobs get in the way of everything, including communication in an open adoption. It can be difficult to reprioritize time so that our job does not get in the way of communication with the... more