I tell my son about the day that he came to us in an airplane from Korea. He’s only two years old so he doesn’t really understand what I’m telling him, but I tell him anyway. My goal is to keep telling him the story until it becomes one of our family legends. The kind of legend that we keep telling and that he will pass down to future generations.

There’s a book about storytelling called “Remember The Time…?” by Eileen Silva Kindig. (For the sake of full disclosure, this is one of the names my mother uses when she writes.) This books talks about the importance of storytelling... more

Receiving Support Through Adoption Loss Continued from previous post

Finally, we were informed that the birth mother had chosen another family. We felt as if we had been rejected. Again. The last thing we wanted to do at that point was to call everyone and tell them we’d been rejected.

When the calls did begun trickling in, people’s response to our news was “Oh.”

Oh? What kind of a response is that? I thought.

I’ve learned to become more gracious since then, because I now know that our friends and family simply didn’t understand the kind of emotional support we needed. Because they hadn’t experienced the complexities... more

You will never catch me getting into it about the stay-at-home-mom vs. working-mom "dilemma." First of all, I think that whole argument is a made up battle, but secondly, I think all children, especially those who have behavioral or developmental problems, benefit from a little preschool or nursery school once they're past the baby stage. I am all for attaching to your newly adopted child by staying at home with him or her for the first several months (if you can) and limiting interaction with outsiders, etc., etc., but there comes a time when both you and your little one will need... more

I had an appointment with a doctor yesterday, and as always there was quite a wait. I used to take a book along to keep me occupied, but with little kids in tow a book would just be silly.

Keeping them entertained isn’t always easy, but they go to great measures to keep the rest of the waiting crowd amused; from a child’s perspective any captive audience, even the sick, the weak and the infirm, will do … rather like a Borscht Belt comic in the ‘50s.

Need I say it? My children are adorable. They enjoy attention, like getting laughs and will... more

The county we live in is a little outdated in a lot of things. One of the biggest issues is programs for emotionally challenged children. So it is not hard to believe that the juvenile court system is just as prehistoric.

I have had the dubious pleasure of sitting in on a few of the hearings for children and families who have not been able to keep up with court fees and mandated payments. The Judge has no respect at all for anyone. He makes each parent feel like they are bottom of the bucket. It does not matter if it is Christmas and the family has three other children to look out for, or if it is a single mom raising a family on her own.

I watched as a social worker tried... more

My darling daughter, adopted from Ukraine, came home to me at 3.5 years of age as a survivor. She survived her childhood, the orphanage, the adults, the other children, the feral dogs around her orphanage. She was just sure that she could handle everything herself. Control freak to the max.....

After taking a bath (which was a new experience for her by the way... she was used to a sponge bath) she would try and wash her clothing. She also washed dishes and swept. She knew how to work but she didn’t know how to play.

And about attachment.... She didn’t need no freaking attachment.... more

Two staples of Ethiopian dining are injera, which is Ethiopian flat bread, and berbere, a spice used heavily in many Ethiopian recipes. You can buy both of these items online if you are not into cooking. But if you want to give these items a try yourselves, here are some simple recipes modified to be made with ingredients easily found in US grocery stores.

Injera-- Bread of Ethiopia

Yield: 5 9-inch pancakes

Combine: 1 cup BUCKWHEAT PANCAKE MIX 1 cup BISCUIT MIX 1 EGG Add: 1 Tbs. OIL 1 1/2-2 cups WATER to obtain an easy pouring consistency.

Bring a... more

Some people assume, because I have placed a child, that the man in my life is not my child’s father. Well my partner, Danny, is the father of my child. We did manage to stay together through the challenges of a difficult pregnancy and first few months of Punkin’s life, and beyond. So how did we manage that even though things were hard on us? Perseverance and stubbornness are mostly what got us through those hard days. There were a few other things though.

If it had not have been for empathy we would have never made it. Both of us tried to remember what the other was losing by placing our son for adoption. It wasn’t easy on either of us; both of us were losing our flesh and... more

The Biological clock???

This is kind of an interesting finding, especially in light of the standard biological knowledge that most organisms (e.g., fruit flies) start to die after they have reproduced.

It also seems to suggest that parenting at an older age keeps you on your toes, physiologically, and may stave off certain degenerative conditions such as Alzheimer's and ... oh, I can't remember. Just kidding!

Hm, maybe we older women age like fine wine :)

From the Telegraph... more

So often when we talk about transracial adoption, or contemplate transracial adoption or read about transracial adoption, we hear about the difficulties. We hear about the challenges. What will our families think? What will our neighbors think? What will the child think? What will the community think? How can I raise a child of another race? Etc. etc. etc.

I think it is way overdue for us to do some thinking on the blessings of transracial adoption. Yes, there are challenges and difficulties associated with parenting a child of a different race than yourself, but I promise that the blessings are just as numerous.

My world has been completely changed by my children. I grew up... more