It doesn't take a clairvoyant or the proverbial crystal ball to predict the particular likelihood or success of an open adoption. It usually just takes experience. Once you have worked with a good number of adoptive parents and birth parents, it is not hard to guess whose relationships will work and whose won't make much headway. Having written that, I must add a caveat. It is still hard to predict human behavior. Sometimes, clients that seemed like poor candidates for openness surprise you, while those you think will fare well, don't.

However, there seems to be a pattern for those who have good open adoptions. I define "good" as a relationship where both birth parents and adoptive... more

Those closely associated with adoption such as triad members and their friends and families know that its effects are felt pretty much on a regular basis for a lifetime. If you are involved in a search and support groups, mailing lists, or read blogs such as this you may have read about some of them.

Some of the issues may be low self esteem, or the feelings of being abandoned. Some adoptees may feel afraid that people are going to leave her, whether it is the men or women they date or the people they work with. Often times, many people fear sometime in their lives rejection... more

One of the neatest art projects we have done as a family unit was Emotional Smiley Faces.

We took the smiley face chart that we were given by a therapist and we sat and made door hangers. Each child had a set of their own. Made in their favorite color.

All it took was some construction paper and string, stapler and some markers. You cut out enough circles to create a group of feelings. We chose five major feelings.

1). Happy 2). Sad 3). Angry 4). Not Feeling Well 5). Leave Me Alone

Each of us drew our own funny smiley faces to represent those five feelings. We all decided to give good old number five horns and evil grin.

Each... more

Some updates from home from this week.

It is hard to believe that this is already our fourth full day home. The whole trip seems almost surreal... we waited and waited and waited to go and were so excited and anxious for the trip, and then it went by so quickly that it almost seems like it wasn't real. Except of course for the fact that we have this gorgeous little boy running around the house! (and some lingering jet lag).

Ben is wonderful. I have been letting him bundle up in snow clothes and go out about 15 minutes before the bus comes with the kids in the afternoon and he loves the snow. He buries his legs, throws snowballs and thinks it is all grand. "The snow is good... more

This was written from home, dated Feb. 21

Is there a word out there that is sweeter than home??? After a grueling trip home that, including layovers, took 48 hours, we are finally, finally home. It is so wonderful!! It was so good to see all of my kids and for us all to be back home together. Ben was so amazingly good on the trip home. He was really an angel. We were sort of dreading it, but he could not have been better. He slept, watched movies, colored, ate snacks and played some games with me. He thought the plane was great, and wasn't anxious to get off at all. In fact when we were landing after the 18 hour leg, I told him "plane down" and he said, "no, plane up". He wasn't impressed... more

From Feb. 16

It is hard to believe, but we are already on our last day here in Addis. We will be heading home tonight, arriving in Washington DC on Saturday morning and the SLC airport at 10am on Sunday. We should have quite the crowd, and if any of you are in the area, we'd love to see you!

Let's see, first I need to say that I MISS MY KIDS!!! I always hate being away from my kids, even for a little while, and while this trip has been wonderful and amazing and one of the best experiences I have ever had, I am so ready to hug my Mercy, Nathan, Ryan, Des, Shane, Amanda, Maggie and Marcus! Ben is so excited to meet them too... I can't wait for that moment. we have heard from... more

We have made it home sweet home from our trip to get our beautiful new son. I know that my topic is transracial adoption, but any one considering adopting an older child, I say go for it! Our son is just amazing. He is happy and sweet and loving and has settled in with us SO quickly. I will post our adoption story and photos for those that are interested. Sorry if you have already read it on Rainbowkids.

I have lots of new thoughts and topic ideas from my travels, so stay tuned for lots of posts here in the near future.

Here is our adoption story. We were adopting... more

My Knowledgable Spouse reports that not everyone was as lucky as we were today -- apparently many of The Stork packages haven't wound up where they're supposed to be. It *seems* like DHL misplaced a fat packet of referrals.

Whether or not this was passive-aggressive punishment for all the anxious parents-to-be haranguing the tracking information center ("IS IT HERE YET? IS IT HERE YET? IS IT HERE YET?") is not entirely clear. However, The recently cited Traveling Daughters Family are among the affected. I can't imagine the anticipation, and I don't think my cardiologist would want me to try.

Hold... more

Why is stepparent adoption, the most common form of adoption? Why is it that so many parents just simply give up on the children that they created, and in many cases parented for a significant amount of time?

Besides writing for this blog, I also run a stepparent support group. Time and time again I hear stories of frustrated parents doing everything that they can to see a child, who is being withheld, or being used as a tool against the non-custodial parent. And on the other side of the issue, time and time again, I see parents who just simply give up. Who... more

His name is Yang Fu Huang, and he's from Yunyang County in the Chongqing Municipal District -- I think that's right in the Three Gorges area.

He was born last June.

The internet tells me Yunyang is known for archaeological remains of horse burials, which they find unusual because it's too hilly for horses, which reminds me of the Basotho ponies my mother's mother's family knew -- horses plying the impassable routes of the ... more