Recently I read a question from a woman feeling pressure to go back to work when her newly arrived 6 month old had been home just 4 weeks, but wondering how it would affect her baby's attachment to her. I think she is right to be concerned. Of course each family has to make their own choices. But in my opinion if you want to ensure a strong attachment with your child, 4 weeks is much too soon to go back to work, even part time.

I know that some women simply MUST go back to work. But if there is the slightest wiggle-room in your work/ maternity leave situation, I always would opt for the longer... more

There is no perfect reunion or perfect scenario. Along with reunion comes issues that need to be dealt with individually and together. The definition of reunion is two people who are related but are relative strangers. Like in any relationship this relationship is going to take time, energy, and effort. It is a lot of work, it takes a lot of energy and concentration. With that said, I have taken a list of things that I have learned in my own reunion with my sister as well as others who have been in reunion and have listed some do’s and don’ts.

DO be honest. No more... more

When we think of the term "mixed marriage" we most often will think first of a marriage where each spouse is of a different religion. Next, we will think of a marriage between people of different races, or possibly even different countries.

But I'd like to propose something else - everyone who is married is in a mixed marriage.

We will never find someone who is exactly like us when we enter into a union, and therefore, by definition, marry someone different, creating a mix. A mixed marriage.

I had this epiphany one time while in an argument with my husband - I was in the middle of yelling at him about something - we were yelling at each other in fact over something... more

I grew up in the Midwest - the often snowy, icy Midwest. One of the first winter driving lessons you get is how to steer into the skid. It is an important one, as it is so counterintuitive to what your instincts tell you.

Therapeutic parenting is the same way - totally counterintuitive -- it takes practice -- lots of it! The first time I heard a parenting expert explain paradoxical interventions for children with ODD I thought the gal was nuts! Agree with the child, prescribe the behavior, give them permission to do the offensive thing they're about... more

Doing it all again Continued from previous post

Two years after adopting Ben, we returned to the same adoption agency to try again. It seemed like a repeat of our first scenario, which had included getting “chosen” a week after we turned in our paperwork and bringing home a baby two weeks after that (see Parts 4-7 of this series for details).

A week after we turned in our profile, we received a call that we’d been chosen by a 19-year-old. Coincidentally, she lived in the same city as we did. Her due date was in one month.

When we met for dinner, she told us that her pregnancy was a result of a brief relationship she’d had with a military... more

In the past two weeks, I’ve heard two different people express concern that adopting from Korea is bad for the child. In both cases, they were reading posts from angry Korean adoptees who are anti-adoption because of their own experiences. So, I decided it was time to post something from a happy Korean adoptee who is pro-adoption.

(A picture of me and my son at the zoo. He saw a giraffe.)

A couple years ago, I joined an on-line group of Korean adoptees. I was getting ready to adopt our son from Korea and I was searching out groups of people who... more

Tanya and Roman picked us up from the hotel and took us to a department store a little ways outside the center of Moscow. I do not remember the name, although perhaps it had a Kangaroo logo (?). It was kind of like a Kmart. We bought underwear and a couple of toys for our baby-to-be, and a spare t-shirt each, along with toothbrushes and little shampoos and all the stuff that we didn't have due to losing our luggage. We'd spoken to the airlines and they said they'd deliver it to the hotel... whenever it arrived.

Then they took us to the Paveletsky train station in Moscow.... more

Take a look at the little boy in this photo. Try to imagine that this cute little tyke was yours. Would you want to know him even if someone else had raised him?

I know many birth moms who have searched for their children. They were determined to locate their children, and felt strongly that they had every right to do so. However, I know even more birth moms who did not search. They felt as though they had no right to do so and were afraid to search.

Many adoptees express the sentiment that if their birth family wanted to know them, they would find... more

A question many prospective parents early in the international adoption process ask is, "How can I be certain my child will not have any medical problems I can’t handle?"

The answer is: you can’t.

If your situation cannot accommodate a child with Special Needs and you’ve specified that ‘healthy’ is your choice, you may have managed to eliminate some obvious impairments.

Many parents in the process of adopting like to think of the referral photo as the adoption equivalent of the sonogram picture taken from the outside looking in on a baby in the womb. It will... more

Oh boy. This would be heartbreaking. Can you imagine living through this?

Daytona Beach News Journal Lawmakers want to stop fights over foster kids

By DEBORAH CIRCELLI Staff Writer

DAYTONA BEACH -- As a 4-year-old prepares to leave the Tennessee family he has known for more than 2 1/2 years to live with the Orange City foster parents who nurtured him for 16 of his youngest months, Florida lawmakers are filing bills to protect other children from such upheavals.

One bill would give priority for adoption to foster parents... more