Trust can be an issue for triad members. There are probably a handful of people that I can trust because I believe that trust is earned. I have learned some valuable lessons about trust. I have heard triad members say that they have trust issues, that they don’t trust easily and that it is hard to be open.

We all go through struggles in life. Some endure more than others. Personally, trust has been the hardest issues in my life that I have ever had to deal with and come to terms with on a more positive level. For me, not trusting was my shield. It was a way to protect... more

Some advocates of search and reunion tend to the minimize the possibility of rejection by the found party. Initially, when I entered the search and reunion world, the mantra was that rejection is rare.

I understand that to support those searching, some may want to downplay the possibility of rejection. Acceptance is more common. However, I have encountered more rejections than I expected given how rare I was told that rejections actually occur.

While I do not want to scare anyone with the possibility of rejection; I do believe that it is best to be forwarned that it might... more

Let’s face it…most of us enjoy shopping! While I am not a big fan of “the stores” and could go years without being in a mall, I do really enjoy shopping online. I can shop all by myself when the kids are in bed, I can take my time, I can comparison shop without running all over the place and I can sleep on it if I am trying to decide whether to buy something or not.

A relatively new line of products to shop for are adoption products. As more and more families choose to grow their families by adoption, more and more adoption related products become available. Today you can buy... more

The other assumption I’ve made, which isn’t always accurate, is that you are not yet a birthmom. Some women relinquish two children in a row, maybe even three or more.

I confess I sometimes have difficulty imagining what this must be like. Take all the grief and shame associated with losing one child, and then multiply it. It must be horrible.

Part of the reason these situations are so painful is that they represent a highly unsupported loss. There is even more of a stigma attached to multiple relinquishments than to one. People wonder why a woman "can’t get it together"... more

There is a terrific post on adoptionblogs.com titled Top Ten Tips for a New Mom. I think this is a great topic because as first time adoptive parents, I know my husband and I focused so much more on the adoption process, and of course the wait, than we ever did on adoptive parenting. Yes, adoptive parenting requires a completely different set of parenting skills that parenting biological children. You still have the normal duties of setting boundries, discipline, positive reinforcement, etc., but adoption brings many additional issues to the parenting table.

I will first give you just a few short personal... more

When my sister was a baby, I spent a lot of time with her. I really enjoyed the novelty of having a sibling. Because I was nine, I skipped over the sibling rivalry stage and I think I viewed myself as a mini-parent. However, wherever I went, people had questions.

I was sending e-mails to my mother yesterday and she reminded me that people used to ask me all the time if my sister was my “real” sister. Nope, she’s my imaginary friend. Can you see her?

For the most part, I don’t think that people think when they use the term “real” when speaking to an adoptee or the parents of an adoptee. Of course she’s my “real” sister. What they really mean to ask is if she is my biological... more

In my blog thus far, I’ve generally written as if I assume two facts:

that this will be your first child that you have not previously relinquished a baby

But unplanned pregnancies come in all varieties, so I want to acknowledge that these things may not be true for you personally. Part 1 of this post will talk about relinquishing a second or subsequent child. Part 2 will talk about multiple relinquishments.

While most women who are considering adoption are first-time mothers, this is by no means always the case. Perhaps the reason you are considering adoption... more

The Adoption JobSite is a service that matches law and graduate social work students with employers in the fields of adoption and child welfare during the summer. Positions can be paid or volunteer, and the matching service is free.

Although it's late in the year, there is still time for employers to post job and internship openings for summer 2006. Employers also have the ability to interview applicants.

This is an excellent opportunity for both employers and students! Check it out!

The program is managed by the... more

For Earlier Posts See Below

As June began to progress so did the frustration both Kristina and I felt as we lived our lives 1600 miles a part. Having Grammy visit was an incredible blessing for me and for Kristina. For me I was happy to know that someone was there caring for Kristina as she learned to care for Mia. For Kristina, just having family there was awesome. It was so difficult to say good-bye but it was a nice rest to give a reprieve from the frustrations we were feeling.

Just before Grammy came, Kristina drove to Quetzaltenango with Mia and the... more

I wrote this advice last year as my contribution to an advice book put together at my sister-in-law's baby shower. I changed it just a little to be more helpful to adoptive moms. Though it is geared towards new mothers of infants, much of the advice is also applicable to mothers adopting older children.

10.) If someone offers help, ask them to bring meals, run errands, scrub sinks, or fold laundry. DO NOT feel guilty about doing all the baby-cuddling yourself. You are the momma.

9.) Don’t stress if dad does things differently than you do. Kids benefit from both dad-style parenting and mom-style parenting.

8.) Mothering, like any new skill, can be hard at first.... more