In one of her posts, my co-blogger, Heather came to the realization that not everyone thinking of an adoption plan is a first time mother. Back when I knew absolutely nothing about adoption, I would have had to agree with her. While making an adoption plan, I felt “different” because I felt like I was probably one of the few that made an adoption plan for the child she was carrying while she parented another child.

But after relinquishing Charlie and getting active in... more

It is fun laying around on the beach having a vacation. I’m also spending a bit of time walking on the beach as well. Last night, I even had a glass of wine on the beach.

Life is pretty easy to live this way for a couple of weeks. Mostly I’m enjoying having family around and having other adults to watch K. Hubby and I have been out on the town a couple times with K safely at grandparents. It has been fun!

Right now, my parents are again watching K. Hubby is at the bar having a beer, and I get to play by myself for a bit.

I like to do that. – Play by myself,... more

Effects of Disenfranchised Grief The effects of disenfranchised grief and consequent poor grief resolution are displayed in a variety of ways and in varying degrees. Depression, emotional disturbances, withdrawal from society, psychosomatic illnesses and low self-esteem are all symptoms. Many of those affected succumb to substance abuse and have difficulty in forming healthy relationships. Jeffrey Kaufmann is quoted in Disenfranchised Grief, "The loss of community that may occur as a consequence of disenfranchised grief fosters an abiding sense of loneliness and abandonment".... more

So often, we read about the heartbreaking stories of a newborn baby left for dead, or even killed, by a frightened, desperate, unprepared, immature, parent. When that happens in a community there is a big push to remind everyone about the Safe Haven laws that are in place to protect against this kind of horrible crime. There are a lot of differing opinions on the value and the utility of Safe Haven laws and whether or not they even accomplish their intended purpose.

Click on this... more

Critics of adoption practices are accused of all sorts of heinous beliefs and acts. "How dare you put down adoption and sentence more children to languish in an orphanage in (fill in the blank)?", some people rage. Isn't that placing the blame in the wrong place? Should we really blame those who try to "clean up" adoption? Is our indignation directed at the wrong people?

When adoptions slow down or halt in other countries, isn't it because people who facilitate adoptions in those country have messed up and gotten caught? Aren't they the villains who deserve the blame when... more

Part 1 was on Third World Guilt.

Families traveling to Ukraine... especially families adopting older children will have read stories about human trafficking. It used to be called slavery.

This is a major problem for Ukraine. It is a source and a destination for human beings who are used and abused. Many children, men and women (49% of Ukraine) are vulnerable to trafficking.

29% of Ukrainians live under the poverty line (Isn't the line about $50 per month?... more

It’s been a very rough week. I usually write and blog more during stressful situations and eras of my life. It’s kind of like a lifeline to sanity when otherwise I feel like cracking and spilling all over the floor in a big mess.

And I can make a very big mess.

This time was different however. Monday when I got the call that my sister was having heart failure and ‘going down fast’ I completely lost it. I ran about the house like a crazy woman, trying to figure out what to grab for our drive south. That was my at my most functional – before that… well let’s say I’m glad Jimmy was around to help yank be back from the edge.

I won’t delve deeper emotionally into that day,... more

My friend Erin over at http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/ is doing a whole series of posts on her recent adoption from Ethiopia and her plans to adopt another Ethiopian child. Don't miss it!

"Lucy, you got some splaining to do."

Ricky Ricardo.

Unless you are a baby boomer near my age, you may not know much, if anything, about the "I Love Lucy" television show. Maybe you might though, reruns possibly? It was first broadcast during the early fifties, and much has changed since that time. When the show was originally aired, the word "pregnant" was considered not appropriate for television.

Studio heads were initially concerned that the duo of Lucy and Ricky might be considered unbelievable due to their "mixed marriage". Ricky was Cuban, while Lucy... more

Unless you are in a coma, you perhaps might notice that suddenly all my kids’ names changed… or at least most of them did. Amy and Tommy are pseudonyms and have been all along. I changed the names of the other kids and their significant others out of concern for safety and privacy. I perhaps should have done this from the beginning but I tend to just "put it all out there."

My oldest daughter is now Stephanie and her constant companion is Sean. My married son is Kyle and his lovely bride is Marie. Beth is my “Eastern Western... more