Except for waxing on about the pleasurable and potentially healing aspects of reunion, I generally write about the less positive parts of adoption. Over the years, adoption has been presented as a joyous and wholly positive experience. Consequently, most people understand consider adoption as a mostly positive experience. Until the past few years, birth mother's voices were silenced.

Since most people already know about the joys of adoption, I feel no need to speak of the "rosy" side of adoption. I do not deny that adoption is a joyous experience for some. However, as... more

I don't think I've had the pleasure of writing about Angelina Jolie yet in my blogs. I suppose it's because she doesn't have much to do with adoption from Russia (except for that business about little Gleb last year) so I haven't written about her in that blog and my time at this blog hasn't been long enough so I'm reduced to talking about celebrities.

(Not that there's anything wrong with talking about celebrities, mind you. I enjoy People or Us Weekly as much as the next person waiting in the grocery-store check-out... more

What causes triad members to write about adoption? Different reasons for different individuals I suppose. On most days, I feel really positive writing about adoption. I feel that my writing serves a purpose and helps educate and support others a bit. I write because I feel compelled to do so.

The positive “pats on the back” comments from others inspire and encourage me. They help me to understand that my writing is worth something. On those days, I feel most positive about my writing and blessed to have some small ability to be able to express myself in a reasonably... more

On Newsweek.com there's a very poignant article about an adoptive mother who realized that in order for her daughters to be happy and have closure, she needed to acknowledge their past life in Russia. In fact, in order for them to get peace in their lives she realized they needed to return to Russia to visit the relatives they left behind. The article is in the "My Turn" section of Newsweek. It's called "We Didn't Need the Past -- Or So I Thought."

The writer and her husband adopted their two daughters, ages 10 and 13, five... more

A grandma-to-be e-mailed me this week, saying that her daughter will be placing her baby for adoption in an open adoption. She asks:

When we go to the hospital, I would like to give the adoptive mom a present for the baby from my husband and I. Do you have any suggestions?

She also says that she’d like to write her grandson a letter, and wonders whether that would be necessary, since it will be an open adoption.

I suggested some items grandma could give her grandson, based on the gifts our sons received from... more

For Earlier Posts, See Below

Life in the United States marched on with no concept of how our lives were reeling each day without each other. Being separated for over 13 months was almost unbearable and yet we pressed on. It was the only choice we had. Day in and day out we heard many thoughts people had about our situation.

“Why don’t you just go adopt another kid who is easier”

Or “Man I don’t think I could let my wife go through that like you have.”

We heard so many that we began to have a deaf ear toward the things many people said.... more

Looking into the book, Do Blue Bedsheets Bring Babies by Thomas Chraughwell I saw that there were many old wive's tales regarding sex drive,fertility and pregnancy. Most of them I felt were pretty easy to know if they was any truth behind them, but some were surprizes. Here are some of both!

The following things are rumored to be aphrodisiacs in folk lore, but what does the FDA say? Oysters - yes! They are high in zinc, and zinc improves the sex drive. Yohimbine bark - "encouraging". Rumored to activate nerve centers in males to improve sexual function.

The main emphasis on this subject in the book was for powdered... more

At our new house we have inherited an ancient and incredibly prolific plum tree. We weren't really sure when it would start to drop its fruit but now that it has begun there's no doubt: we've probably got 50 pounds of fruit growing on that tree and not enough mouths to eat all that it's giving us.

I asked the former owner what to do with all the fruit. She said that this particular kind of plum is not good for preserves, since its fruit is very watery, but I could make jelly or other recipes with them, provided I cook fast. We've already discovered that we either need to eat them... more

In my former life I was a high school media specialist. In other words, a librarian. In my current life (in addition to being Mommy, a blogger, and a publishing powerhouse - hahaha) I am also a writer and reader of young adult fiction. I realize that most of you probably never read fiction for young adults (even when you were young adults) and certainly don't now, but I want to make a plug for books written for the teenage set. Most of them are extremely well-written, they're usually focused on the wide theme of 'growing up' (and who can't relate to that) and for those of you who have teenagers,... more

Yesterday we went to a high school graduation party for one of my husband’s cousins. It was a nice party (though a little hot). My mother-in-law had come with a big bag of cars for my son so he was a happy camper and enjoyed himself immensely.

We don’t do a lot with this side of the family – my husband’s father’s family. I don’t know why. They seem like very nice people, but I suppose that kind of things just happens as families grow bigger.

I recognized a few of the people there right away, but for the most part they were all strangers. Some I thought I should remember,... more