(This is continued from earlier posts...click on the category "Belane's adoption" to the right and scroll down, as earlier posts are at the bottom of the page)

I figured I had met hundreds of children at that point in our trip, and they were all beautiful and they were all sweet and they were all in need. I loved all of them, but until this day, not one had felt like “mine”. I couldn’t even explain how I felt at that moment, but I knew that I had felt a connection with that little girl that was unlike any experience I have ever had, and I knew it felt horribly wrong to be driving away from her.

I did my best to compose myself and when we got to the home for the older children,... more

Adoptive parents should be prepared for a very emotional experience in Ukraine and not just because of the adoption process.

Have you ever traveled to a third world country? Seen poverty up close and personal? Been/are connected with people who struggle to find food to eat? Lived in an area where clean water isn't easily available?

There is something known as "third world guilt" that many adoptive parents people in the land of plenty may feel. My younger brother has traveled the World. He first ran into true poverty in Turkey. His comment was,... more

I read the FRUA board often. Yesterday on one of ADN’s listserves (not FRUA), a mom (who has an adopted Eastern European child) stated, “I think Russian adoption and RAD are synonymous.” We laughed about the need for an asbestos suit if she posted that on the FRUA site. In all honesty, in the year or 18 months that I have been haunting that board, I have seen some shifting towards a willingness to address... more

So, a long while back I posted this blog about vegetarians not able to foster adopt because of their eating habits. I got a couple of comments and a few emailed comments about it, - guess it hit a nerve with some folks.

In the first post, I quoted from the article:

Although they readily agreed to allow their foster child to eat meat outside the home, at school and at restaurants, this couple was denied their application to become foster and/or foster adopt parents because of their... more

We have all done it. We have met or learned of adoptive parents, and are dying to talk to them about their process. Or maybe we see an inter-racial family on the street, and we suspect they are an adoptive family. We want so terribly to speak to them, to learn from them, but how do you begin such a conversation without saying the wrong thing?

I hear this quite a bit on the forums. Especially with adoption from countries where the children don't look like their new parents. Our son is clearly Asian (actually Eurasian) and we often get asked questions like, "where is he from" or "oh is he adopted." I don't mind these questions, but I know that some people do. I have also had some... more

This is continued from earlier posts...click here for Part One and here for Part Two.

We got to AHOPE and things were very quiet. There were two buildings, and we were ushered into a smaller one on the right hand side where there was an office. We were told that this was the younger children’s compound, and the wonderful woman that we met (she has the best smile and personality!) apologized that Sidisse was not there, but once she understood why we were there she quickly made us comfortable. She introduced us... more

Many if not most of you will complete the final leg of your adoption journey in Almaty, Kazakhstan. Your agency may have a preference as to where you stay, or they may leave it up to you. Regardless, you should have some basic information on where to stay in Almaty.

If you are coming from completing your adoption in a smaller region of Kazakhstan, Almaty will be a welcome sight. It is westernized in many ways, and its hotels are friendly to international travellers. Some hotels specialize in catering to American adoptive families.

Your options in Almaty are either an apartment or hotel. If you are travelling with several other people, an apartment might be a good bet.... more

We're at Heathrow airport in London, myself and my 13 year old and my 3 year old and my new 7 month old, and we just wish we could get on the next plane and be inching closer to home at 700 mph, but instead we have a seven hour layover here in the pit of...London, and we have little ones who've slept between Addis and London but we haven't, and the 3 year old is all energy and so we force our weary bodies to walk along the long hallways between gates while she burns off energy, and we pass a funny, open-topped smoking 'room' which corrals smokers like cattle but allows their smoke to float up and out into our faces, and as we go past one of the many hideously expensive little shops I stop... more

Resolution of Grief

The goal in successful grief resolution is to reestablish emotional equilibrium. Ms. Robinson used Worden's model of grief counseling from his book, Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, to demonstrate how the disenfranchised grief of natural mothers interferes with the successful resolution of grief. The four aspects he presents as necessary for successful grief resolution include: first, accept the reality of the loss; second, experience the pain of grief; third, adjust to the environment from which the lost person is missing; and fourth, withdraw... more

(continued from previous posts...Click here for Part one)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006, was our third full day in Addis. We were really in a “groove”. Ben had fit right in with us and we were having so much fun getting to know him. We were comfortable and familiar with our surroundings and not feeling quite so “lost” as we were the first day or two. The morning started with a phone call from home from my best friend Bethany, and it was great to hear that all of the kids were doing fine. After I got off of the phone we went to the park at our hotel, the Ghion, and played soccer with Ben. Dan came out... more