Happy Father's Day, Dad -- Now stop cheating on mom with THIS WOMAN HERE!!!

That's basically the message sent by young Wang Jing, a first-year student at Jinan University who got sick of her family, in her words, being "derailed by a wanton father." Her folks actually got divorced in February, but Jing thinks they should get back together.

As reported on China Daily's site:

According to Wang Jing, her father broke the tranquility of their family life by secretly keeping Li Cuilian as an "ernai," or mistress, since 2003.

Li lived for about... more

During this conversation, we were actually sitting on the couch, next to each other. Amy had real emotions on her face… the video had so blown her away she couldn’t hide her feelings. Occasionally she put her head on my shoulder and cried… really cried. And I felt maternal for a change! It makes such a huge difference to interact with someone who has even a touch of vulnerability… it really kicks the mommy mode into gear.

When I showed the video to Larry, Sean and Stephanie, I was struck by Sean’s comment at... more

I kind of had this thought when I first started in with the Pimsleur Mandarin CDs. This language, I thought, is a lot like algebra. Not that it's hard in the brain melty way I find algebra to be. It's that there's this standard format for asking common questions, like "What time is it?" or "How many oranges can you swallow whole?" that is basically identical to an equation where you solve for n, except n is actually the word ji, which is sort of a blank. Ji dian zhong? is "What time is it?" only literally, it's more like "Blank points the... more

It’s confession time my dear readers. I have been keeping a secret from you, and it’s pretty big one. If you first started following my ramblings on my first blog, “Nine is Enough”, you should find this announcement a bit ironic. :)

Yes, we are adding to our family once again. We will be “even-ing things up” around here, making for five girls and five boys. (Right now the boys are ahead by one). We honestly felt that our family would be complete once we brought Benjamin Bekalu home, but while we were in Addis, a little girl stole my heart. I thought that we would... more

I have been processing information I learned at the conference all day… as well as the recent conversation with Amy that I have been blogging about. I decided to “interrupt our regular programming” with this insert…

I am majorly in catch-up mode after the move, the wedding, and then the conference. My house is a mess; there is nothing to eat and nothing to prepare something to eat. I did have flour (although not enough bread flour) and yeast so I decided to start a loaf of bread in the bread machine. Stephanie and Sean... more

This week’s Wednesday funny is a story, but the visual images are the really funny part.

In February, Josh and I were in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, adopting our son Benjamin Bekalu, who is five years old. His adjustment to us was amazingly smooth and easy from almost day one and we had a ton of fun with him that week in Addis, getting to know him and having him get to know us. Part of the fun was getting to know his likes and dislikes, much of which was through trial and error.

Food was an area that was lots of trial and error. (Rice Krispie treats- GOOD!) (French... more

(This is from a phone call a few months ago)

Matthew called me today. “I want to come over right now” he said.

My heart was already breaking. Where was he? What was going on?

“Where are you?” I said, “Is your mommy there?” “Can I come over” he said.

Matthew was a foster child we had a few years ago. He was eight years old, with Down Syndrome and sexual abuse from a day care place. His extended bio family all wanted us to adopt him, and we might have considered it, but at the eleventh hour his mom got clean and sober in time to see the judge. He... more

If you decide to search one route to take is to register with voluntary registries for natural parents and adult adoptees. This will let the adoptee know that you would like to be found. A registry is where you leave information about the birth of the child along with your contact information. The contact information should be updated if it changes for any reason.

When the adoptee is an adult he or she can also register with the registry. If what the adoptee knows about his or her birth matches the information the registry has about the natural mother... more

Today I had lunch with a friend and colleague that I have not seen or talked to in several years. I hate it when I lose contact with a person whose friendship I value. Still, sometimes, it happens.

The woman that I reconnected with today is one helluva clinical social worker and an adoptive mother of two boys whom she adopted as older children. She works with children with attachment issues. She and her twin sister are also adoptees, transracial adoptees. She has also experienced search and reunion with her biological family. THWACK! Do you hear that? That's the sound of... more

After Amy and I watched the video, and after Amy acknowledged the similarities between herself and Nancy, we started to talk. OK, mostly I talked… but she actually listened. She did admit she “tuned some of it out” because it was too hard to hear. But she did hear Nancy express the thoughts and feelings Amy lives with every day.

I told Amy that thanks to Nancy’s honesty, I finally understood how unequipped Amy is to be “in relationship” with her family. I said that although she had seen anger in... more