I know there are many, many folks who have adopted two or more children at once. I don’t have any statistics on the percentage of families who manage to integrate the children and have the entire family emerge reasonably unscathed. As I mentioned in the previous blog, I have an admittedly skewed frame of reference. It reminds me of being in veterinary school, when colicky horses were brought to the high-tech surgical facilities for risky, expensive and last-hope surgeries. We only saw the really tough cases… not the vast majority of medical... more

Today A friend sent me a letter that has been going around the inter net for years. Each time you read it. It still seems to touch your heart. For mothers and fathers who have lost a child ... I am certain that this letter draws tears. It may also speak to them about adoption. No child can be replaced but even this little boy suggests it to his mother. Because he knows she loves children so much and is a very good mother. Read and enjoy

A LETTER FROM JIMMY

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm... more

We have all wondered what a child who has had multiple transitions (being placed from home to home) would be like. We worry about this and we try very hard in Foster Care not to let this happen to very many children.

But, sometimes it does happen and when it does, it has a great affect on the child. It causes attachment disorders and a multiple of other things. Michael Trout created a video of "A child's point of view on foster care and adoption."

In this video the voice of a child describes how they felt when they were taken from their fathers arms and put into placement after placement.

If you have time and want to read the dialog Adoption.Org has permission... more

When I am looking for information or updates on Ukrainian adoption I normally look at these web sites first. These are official sources of information… I prefer them to the rumor mill.

Consulate General of Ukraine in Chicago

There are 4 Ukrainian consulates in the United States. They all have pages on... more

My hubby has just left on a plane for Dallas to move his mother closer to us. She is giving up her home of thirty years and her home city of forty years. She will also leave behind two grandchildren and five great grandchildren.

We’ve been discussing this possibility as a family for years. MIL (Mother in Law) is now moving into her late 80's and just can’t live alone anymore. She needs to be close to her only child so he can help her make decisions and visit and well, just be there for her.

She’s been... more

I’ve created a new category on Sensory Integration/Processing Disorders. Some folks call the disability of being able to regulate your senses sensory integration dysfunction (SID), some call it sensory processing disorder (SPD), others call it Dysfunction of Sensory Integration (DSI). Regardless, it’s often a crucial, but overlooked, component to a child’s behaviors, emotions and the mysteries of why they do certain things. Children with autism, ADHD and other childhood disorders often also have SID. Processing disorders, such as auditory processing (sometimes referred to as central auditory processing disorder or CAPD) and visual processing disorder are common in children with many... more

Part 1

4. Don’t be afraid of the objection. The first time opposing counsel shouts “Objection”, can shake a witness. But, remember “it’s not about you.” You didn’t just make a mistake by what you just said. The important thing at that juncture is to just be quiet and watch the legal wrangling begin. You will be cued as when to answer again. Don’t try to figure out the legal arguments back and forth or how the judge is going to rule on them, it’s... more

Testifying in court is quite an experience. I’ve been at it for two days now, so I’m starting to get a nice rhythm and understand a lot about “the system”. If you should ever find yourself in this situation, here are some things you need to understand that might just lower the stress.

1. It is a game and the rules have little to do with what seems fair or logical to you. This is why you need an attorney. NEVER attempt due process without one. The system is set up to allow parents that right as part of the procedural safeguards. And I know in some... more

What was the hardest part about making the decision to adopt a waiting child?

Though the people I asked made it sound easy, deciding to adopt a waiting child is a big decision. Whether it’s deciding if you can bond with an older child or deciding if you are able to deal with the medical conditions – it takes a lot of thought.

When my husband and I were filling out our application, I looked at the boxes that I could check. My pen hovered over the special needs boxes and I agonized over the decision. A part of me felt guilty... more

Many families new to adoption are very surprised to hear that the majority of adoptive families state a preference for a baby girl. This despite the fact that they themselves may indeed be requesting a baby girl.

An article in Slate magazine in January of 2004 Bringing Up Babes: Why do adoptive parents prefer girls? details the surprising statistics:

[In 2003] the Census Bureau released an unprecedented report comparing adopted, biological, and stepchildren based on results from the 2000 Census—amazingly, the first census to... more