Does being an older mother (particularly in our youth obsessed culture) create pressure to try to look, act, and talk like a "cool" mom? How do you know if you are a cool mom? Maybe you think you are cool, but your children think you are just downright embarrassing. The opposite can also be true. Maybe you think you are just a regular old-fashioned mom, but your kids think you are cool.

As for me, I don't strive to be cool. I am 49-years-old. I have three children who are now ages 9, 10, and 11. My cool days, if i ever had any, are well behind me. I do make... more

Again with the old posts ... This time, the last entry in what I called my, "cynical series" where I'm wondering if it's a light at the end of the tunnel, or just a fast-approaching train.

Am I hoping against hope that my faith in humanity will be renewed, my vision of the future will brighten, light will shine at the end of a tunnel filled with hard work and dedication?

Do I feel a need... more

Pat Johnston of Perspectives Press inquired about Julie’s adaptation to our family. Interestingly enough, last night on a walk Julie told me she is still struggling to adapt to the school environment, but she feels she has already adapted to the family environment! I was glad to hear that. She also stated she realized she would probably feel better about school in six weeks, or three months.

We had just returned from church, and I know she was nervous about going there for the... more

Sorry. More hash. Or is this rehash?

Like many adoptive parents, Mark and I are sometimes stunned by how much our kids take after us. Even physical similarities, like Sam's feet ... just like his dad's (and Fred Flintstone's, although there's no connection there we can establish) ... and the way Cj can roll her tongue like I can, go far to strengthen our view that these kids were meant to be ours.

My son is a Super Hero. Well,... more

One of the most under utilized resources for adoptees who are searching is their adoptive family. Some adoptees wait too late to ask their adoptive families for information. Adoption secrets go to the grave with them, as they sometime do with birth parents. Adoptees often wait to begin a search until both adoptive parents are no longer living.

I would like to urge you to consider not waiting until your adoptive parents have passed away to search. Give them some credit for understanding your need to search. Enlist their help to actively support you during your search instead of... more

Ok, how about some controversy for this fine Monday morning??

If you haven’t read it yet, the “buzz” in the world of transracial adoption is this article titled "A Mother Adopts and Discovers her Own Racism” by Lisa Lerner, the adoptive mother of a baby girl from India.

The article provokes discussion and heated ones at that (just check out all of the comments after the article for proof of that).

On one hand, Lisa is an adoptive mom who wrote a very open and honest article about her feelings during her transracial adoption. I believe that she admitted things that most people would not have admitted to close friends... more

We got a call yesterday from our agency. I use this the term, agency loosely, as we haven’t actually been licensed for over two years. We’ve been trying to get licensed, and have fulfilled all our requirements, but the head guy at the agency hasn’t come to finish our home review.

Hubby and I keep thinking about changing, and in fact are headed to an open house at a competing agency this week, but our agency must feel the energetic letting... more

I am going to review some history in Ukrainian adoption as it relates to facilitators.

Cathy Harris runs a business out of Florida. She started helping with Ukrainian adoptions back in 1999.

She fills a role that is sometimes called "state-side" helper.

She clearly states that she isn't an agency or attorney. She charges a fee to provide advise and support on creating the dossier. She also provides an email list for support. And she hooks parents up with... more

With the information overload that is available on parenting, I am sure that there is something out there that has been dubbed Positive Parenting. If there is, that is not what this post is about. I started to title the post The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I realized it wasn't about that either. Here's the deal. Last spring, just before school ended I declared to some of my closest friends that I wanted this summer to be the best summer ever for us as a family and I'll be darned if it didn't happen! Imagine that.

I think of my... more

If you are an adoptive parent and you're thinking about moving, you may have wondered just how diverse your potential new home is. A few evenings ago I came across a great website with a wealth of information about cities all over the US: City-Data.com

Plug in the name of the city that you are considering, and you will have access to an amazing amount of information. My husband and I have thought of moving to Oregon because of its greater racial diversity.

We were amazed to discover that while Black people comprise around 8% of the Portland population, in neighboring Salem, the Black population is a mere 1.4%. That's only marginally... more