In Dr. G's recent posts about a possible downside to older parents adopting she talked about her MIL and how she could have adopted a child of her own at the same age she became a grandmother ... fifty-four. Well ... yeah.

I became a grandmother a year and a half before we adopted Sam ... my granddaughter is fifteen months older than he is, and more than four and a half years older than Cj ... and I... more

Corruption in Cambodia. It happens. Bribes, graft, theft, influence peddling, intimidation ... all of the above and more. International adoptions from Cambodia have been stopped for folks in the US for coming up to five years because of corruption. This year's Global Corruption Report focused on the health sector closely, as "unfortunately, corruption is very high" in that area of national expenditure, and estimates that more than five percent of Cambodia's health budget... more

The child you relinquished to adoption is no longer your child. Many still though torture themselves with the pain of guilt and doubt. It is human to do that but are you being fair to yourself?

By loving your child you have loved deeply and that says that you have a deep capacity for love that many do not. Basically, natural parents are good people. Should that goodness not be recognized instead of inflicting the pain on yourself for what could of, would of, or should of have been done.

The adoptive parents have welcomed... more

Routine and Structure- Toddlers crave structure. They are creatures of habit. They crave routine and familiarity. They very easily get “out of whack” when their routine or structure is changed.

If you are already a parent, think for just a minute about how “off” your toddler can be if they miss a nap or miss a meal, or spend a long time in the car, etc. Keeping that in mind, it is easy to understand just how “off” a toddler that might be that all of a sudden finds himself with new people in a new place, being fed new foods, sleeping in a new place, hearing a new language, etc. etc. etc.

Establishing a predictable routine, especially around meal times, nap time and bed time,... more

The first visit after you have placed your baby in an open adoption is probably one of the hardest visits ever! Depending on your particular open adoption agreement, it may be a few weeks after your baby is born or perhaps a few months after the baby is born. No matter how short or long the time apart has been, that first visit is still very emotional. I remember it like it was yesterday.

While I was pregnant, my son’s soon to be adoptive mother had said that she wanted a few weeks after he was born and they took him home for them to bond with him and for... more

(continued from previous posts on Toddler Adoption)

Grieving- Be prepared for your toddler to grieve. No matter what conditions they are coming from, it will be the life that is familiar to them, and it will be a huge change and transition for them. We had friends adopt a 3 year old girl from a Russian orphanage and they could not understand how she could be missing this place that was “awful” in their eyes, but to their daughter who didn’t know anything different, it was home.

It is important to remember that early neglect and/or abuse and multiple placements and “breaks” in attachments can also leave toddlers feeling insecure and can lead to some very challenging behaviors.... more

Well, last week birthday wishes started arriving for LuLu and it wasn't long before she had gift cards and money enough for the coveted Fur Real Chimp.

So, given that I was in court all week and the daily routine was defintely out of whack, one evening I took her over to Target and she made her purchase. She was thrilled! LuLu had been stuck on wanting this chimp and on believing that somehow we (the family who loved her) would not buy her true heart's desire for her as a birthday... more

I fell in love with my daughter the moment I saw her face, that’s not to say that it did not take a while to feel truly attached to her or for it to feel real to me. This is hard to write about but I think it’s important. I believe this is one of the less talked about topics of adoption. Attachment is a process and it takes time on both sides.

This post is not about how well Livi did in attaching to me, but it’s more about how I did attaching to her. I remember my first few weeks home and people would call and say “ Don’t you just love it” or... more

I've written about this website in the Russia adoption blog, but in case you weren't around that day or didn't care because it was about Russia, I want to mention it again for those of you who have or are thinking about adopting internationally: Kids Culture Center.

The site contains links and/or kid-friendly activites for the countries of Russia, Mexico, Guatemala, China, Korea, India, Vietnam and soon, Ethiopia and Ukraine,

Here's how Barbara Blackwell,... more

When you are considering making an adoption plan or if you are actively participating in making one, you will begin to think about openness and the amount of openness and contact you may want in an adoption plan. There’s a lot to think about!

So I thought it might be wise to go over some of the things you should think about. When you are in the midst of making an adoption plan it can be overwhelming and your mind may skip over some of the details. Aspects of the list below are not for everyone and are personal decisions that you must make regarding what you... more