Every Friday morning I watch the little neighbor boy for about four hours. He is just over one year old and very cute.

(My neighbor then watches K on Monday mornings and guess what I do? - I go to a writers group! As if I didn’t get enough writing in during the week keeping up with this blog and my foster-adopt blog).

Having two young ones for a few hours a week helps me understand my own limitations and desires for having another child. I always wonder if my patience... more

They’re finding me. Parents who are having problems with the schools. Yesterday I spoke with several, including one who was considering placement at the kiddie prison I’ve been describing in my blogs. This mom was suspicious though, as they wouldn’t answer many of her questions and it wasn’t very easy to arrange for a visit. Hmmm...secrecy is an important weapon because knowledge is power.

Tons of parents of traumatized children, of adoptive children with disabilities, or children whose sensory and processing needs have not been identified or recognized... more

This comment that I referred to in Part 1 made me decide to look up the word “victim” in the dictionary. I prefer to think of myself as a survivor rather than a victim. “Victim” has connotations to me of cowering in a corner, meekly accepting your fate and not speaking up.

Victim is what I had to be to allow my son's adoption; I went along with the plan. Even though, it felt horribly wrong; I let it happen. However, victim does NOT define me now. Nor does "victim" fit now for any of the feisty, courageous birth mothers that I know who dedicate... more

Here's my last post about ways to raise money for adoption.

This post is about saving money for adoption. The idea behind these two posts is that unless you are doing foster-to-adopt, adoption can be quite expensive. And even if you are doing foster-to-adopt simply raising a child can be expensive. Everybody can use money earning and money saving tips (except you Powerball winners...I hope to join you soon).

Anyhoo, here are some tips for saving money when you're hoping... more

Yesterday I dropped in on a foster and adoptive parent conference and left some ADN newsletters. I joined a friend at lunch time and spent part of the time just watching a foster mom and her baby at the next table. It is always a pleasure to go to foster, adoption and attachment conferences and see moms with their babies in tow… keeping that attachment strong!

Anyway, this was a grey-haired Caucasian grandma and her African American baby girl. This grandma/foster mom held and bounced this little girl all through the lunch... more

I couldn’t do it. Have a whole big pile of kids at home that is.

I dream about doing it, something feels so wonderful about a large family, but I know my limitations.

Luckily for us this family below can.

They have grown their family through bio-kids, foster kids and adopted kids, bringing the total (so far) to eleven.

And they brought in six of them all in one fell swoop yesterday when they adopted a sibling group.

A Houston-area couple ends the uncertainty for six children who almost had given up their... more

In response to my post about what a birthmother looks like, I got the following well-intentioned comment:

the only thing that I would like to say is that she is an Angel from above.

I have to disagree. Beyond my disagreement, this a huge pet peeve of mine. I went out of my way in that post to get the point across that a firstmother is human. She is not perfect. And to get personal, I am in no way, shape or form anything... more

(See part one here)

MAKING YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHTS

For me, the most stressful times of the trip home were the connections. The number one thing to do is to make sure your travel agent schedules plenty of time to make each connecting flight. In most cases 2 hours is probably just enough, and will allow you enough time to navigate airports, even if your previous flight is a little late. You may want a little more time than that on your 'port of entry' airport back into the US, to allow time to get through immigration and customs.

ON THE PLANE

On the... more

Some parents have learned how to address specific special needs so effectively they continue to adopt special needs children, creating large families by adoption. Often those families are denigrated or criticized. But I have found that some of the most emotionally disturbed children do better in large adoptive families. Often a large adoptive family is one step closer to a “normal” family instead of institutionalization, but not nearly as threatening as a more traditional, intimate family. That is not to say large families can’t be nurturing... more

What happens when the child you love leaves your foster home? What if you had been told you would get to adopt and then the great aunt came forward or substitute judge awarded custody to the bio-dad (even if the regular judge would not)?

How do you heal from the heartbreak?

It happens and it can be heartbreaking.

We’ve had ten foster children. Our intent was to adopt, but I did agree to take a few children who we knew would not be adoptable. My feeling was I was waiting at home with a childproofed house and wasn’t working anyway.... more