It always amuses me and, admittedly, mildly annoys me, when people assume I don’t speak English. I’ve never really understood that since most of the people that I know (who are here) that speak another language, speak English just as well as I do. Anyhow, one of things that I notice a lot is that people talk louder when they think someone doesn’t understand them. Why do we do that?

Did you catch the part where I asked why do WE do that? I wasn’t excluding myself from the question. Recently, we hired an employee who does not speak English as... more

It's hard sometimes to step between my titles of Firstmom and Mom. They are so intertwined within my being that I often find myself trying to distinguish the one "me" from the other "me." Don't confuse what I'm saying: I am not, for one iota of a second, implying that I am the same as Munchkin's Mom or that open adoption is co-parenting. I am not and it is not. But the love I share for both of my living children is so profoundly equal and simultaneously different that it is often perplexing. My soul is torn trying to remember my place in each of my childrens' lives.... more

One of the first books I read before I actively started my search was The Other Mother by Carol Schaefer. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this excellent read, it is an awesome book and truly helped me to cross the threshold of thinking about searching to actively searching.

When I completed this book, there was a listing of 5 support groups in the back of the book and I immediately called the closest one to me (PA) which was in FL. I believe the group was called People Searching News and they referred me to two local search and support... more

In the previous post, I related a personal experience with “paying it forward.” I posed a question at the end of that post: How can we “pay it forward” to those who are adopting?

Here’s one example: Our church’s adoption ministry periodically offers a series of workshops for those who are considering adopting a child. Parents who have recently adopted volunteer to share their experiences with the newbies.

It’s heartwarming... more

Have you ever had a rough week when suddenly, encouragement arrives from an unexpected source?

That happened to me this week. I was slogging away on my book, feeling defeated, depressed and down (to put it mildly), when I received an e-mail from a person I’ve met once, briefly. When we met five months ago, this woman and I had one of those, “Hi, nice to meet you; see you later” chats.

In her e-mail, she indicated that she had been speaking at a retreat when suddenly, my image popped into her head and she felt the urge to pray for me.... more

I can be spontaneous and impulsive. I know I can.

So I’m starting right now this very second on my weight loss program. At first I THOUGHT I’d start on October 1st. But heck, that was just another postponement measure.

If you missed it, I got inspired by Dr. G’s weight loss and energy post. And then I thought about it for about a week.

Then I decided, spontaneously like, to DO something about it.

I... more

In a healthy relationship there is no position of power and both individuals are genuinely interested in the others well being and so there is no reason to feel threatened, and there is no fear of attack. Both individuals can be open and honest in a safe environment where they are valued and cared for.

If you find yourself using guilt in your adoption reunion the answer to why you are doing it is in you and not the other person. You may want to ask yourself why you feel threatened? Is there something in the past that you can not forgive? Is... more

Two things I came across today in science news:

On the one hand....

Will US and China be friends in space?

The US may be at odds with China over issues such as weapons proliferation, trade practices and human rights, but this week could mark a turning point in relations between the two countries in space.

As New Scientist went to press, NASA chief Mike Griffin was in the midst of the first official visit to China by a serving head of the agency. Though Griffin has been at pains to keep expectations realistic for his... more

I promised yesterday I’d keep my whining to a minimum… but I’m going to whine again today. I am SO tired. This week, while not atypical, has been overwhelming. The phone is ringing nonstop. All the calls are good, productive calls. Moms getting validated and supported and pointed in the right direction for resources. Social workers learning more about attachment. Newspaper reporters learning more about how agencies and social workers interact with pre- and post-adoptive families. This morning I went from one phone to the other…... more

The third question on this article about matching children and families asks:

Is the family's lifestyle compatible with that of the child?

Although this is less critical when adopting an infant or toddler, parents who adopt transracially must consider their lifestyle choices. Where they choose to live, what friendships they form and foster, and their own beliefs about race and ethnicity are issues to consider.

More... more