While we were at the beach for Thanksgiving I saw lots of grandmas frolicking with their grandchildren. Frolicking. I like that word. Yes, there were grandmas frolicking on the beach with their grandchildren. I like the imagery that conjures up. But wait a minute. Maybe they weren't grandmas. Maybe they were (tadadaDAHHHH! and cue echo sound effects here) older mommies on the beach running around with their children.

Nah. Couldn't have been. Not the sweet little old white haired ladies that I saw picking up shells, building sand castles, and... more

So, after looking at how China's economy is (possibly) affecting the U.S. economy (and thus, well, everything else), I've also been reading stories about Reverend Ken Hutcherson's protests against the economy of adoption.

When a couple seeking to adopt a white baby is charged $35,000 and a couple seeking a black baby is charged $4,000, the image that comes to the Rev. Ken Hutcherson's mind is of a practice that was outlawed in America nearly 150 years ago — the buying and selling of human beings.

The practice, which is widespread among private adoption facilitators, of charging prospective... more

The weather is just wonderful here today, as we are now getting pelted with ice. Kansas City is known for some serious ice storms, sometimes with power outages all across the city. Just yesterday it was 70-something…

I thought it was about time I actually talked about attachment specifically, instead of pontificating about general stuff. One of the topics on ADN’s listserves of late has been about “flat RAD’s”—the kids who are just zombies, or passive/aggressive all the time, showing little or no emotion or motivation or anything.... more

So, more folks are blowing big wind about America's Chinese future (there's a no-registration-required link here).

Mr. New York Times Friedman writes:

I still believe that when the history of this era is written, the trend that historians will cite as the most significant will not be 9/11 and the U.S. invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. It will be the rise of China and India. How the world accommodates itself to these rising... more

Another mom’s question about whether her child had RAD or autism sparked my thinking about the complexity of diagnosing post-institutionalized and traumatized children. You can find my musings in these blogs :

Autism and RAD The Combo Platter

So for me the next logical question is if our children have a smattering of any number of disorders but no clear cut determination... more

[Continued from HERE.]

I have this thing… no, it’s not a disease (well, at least I think it’s not.) My thing is that I believe that anyone, EVERYONE, should be allowed to complain and rant and get up on soap boxes and poke holes in everything around them … BUT … I believe that somewhere in there, the privilege of the rant requires that some conclusions are drawn and what remains in the transitional ether is the... more

I learn so much from every side of the triad. I have the utmost respect for adoptive parents. I have learned how to talk to D or bring up subjects that she might not know how to broach with me because of my interactions with these parents either on the forums or various blogging formats. I have learned what is most important for me to do in order to show respect for their role as the Munchkin's parents. I have learned what might be potentially offensive and know how to respect boundaries set forth in our adoption.

And oh wow, the things I've learned from adoptees. I have pages and pages in my journal of things to keep in mind for when the Munchkin gets older and approaches me (or doesn't!)... more

I know my husband and I would LOVE to see playgrounds built at every baby house and children’s home in Kazakhstan! I’m always so excited to hear about the projects in place and know many adoptive parents are also thrilled to know that the children who remain will have a nicer play area to go out to. In our hearts of hearts – we all wish for them to have forever families – each in their own home with their own swing set. Until then – let me tell you about the various playground projects that I am aware of..

Over the last 3 years, World Partners... more

Something’s happening to LuLu. I keep catching her singing. Mostly it’s Christmas songs, but you have to understand that never before has she just spontaneously hummed a tune, any tune. Her mood is light.

Sure, there are still the occasional stormy rages. But in between, the calm is…well calmer.

And her sense of humor is increasing as well. Yesterday she joked with me, got up from her desk and said “You’re so funny Mom!” and TICKLED ME! What’s up with that???

And yesterday, for the 5th time in a week, I found her... more

Here's part 1 of this post.

Here's where I'm coming from: although there are really bad statistical records on adoption, it seems clear (through the last real statistical study, which was done in 1992) that many, many adopted children in this country are not adopted through domestic, private adoption where the birth mother chose a family for her child, coerced or no. Many, possibly the majority, of adoptions in this country happen because really rotten things happen to children who shouldn't... more