Wow! A whole month come and gone!

I have tried in my first month to touch on a variety of things rather than put a heavy focus in one area. Hopefully by doing that all of you reading will get a broader idea of the type of things I would like to share here. I have put a bit of my own personal story out there as well, but believe me there is a lot more to come.

I have given my perception of a few things I have run across in the news, the good... more

I admit I do not care for all the safe haven laws that have become a new trend. These laws supposedly encourage young women not to harm their newborns and abandon them at a facility like a hospital or fire station, without fear of legal action against them. In the long run though a child might be abandoned by someone other than the mother and without her permission. Children abandoned in this way also lose the ability to in the future search for birth family and know their history. I understand the thought process is to somehow save lives, but this... more

Honestly, if I were intending to write about the benefits of closed adoptions only for birth/first parents, this would be a woefully short post. In fact, I will be upfront and say that I abhor the notion of closed adoptions. I lived with a closed adoption for 32 years. There was no benefit to me, and a great deal of unnecessary heartache.

The majority of the birth/first moms that I know feel the same way. I never hide the fact that nearly all the birth moms that I know are reunited or in open adoptions. There is not much of an opportunity to speak... more

1. Make some time for yourself even if it is only a long bubble bath. Do not give up the things that make you who you are (gardening, scrap booking, reading, painting, etc.). Mostly likely these activities that are important to you can be a great stress relief for you.

2. Do not let what people may say or the inappropriate questions that they feel is okay to ask you, get to you.

3. Prepare for a crisis by lining up a someone to help with the care of the children, if you should need it. With foster care it is probably more like when it will happen. You can almost that there will be a crisis (child falls needs stitches, a spouse gets hurt, a child has a super melt down or... more

It seems inconceivable to me that I could be so overcome with emotion merely by reading this book, and that it would take me a few days to recover. I thought I was further down the path than this. After all, my tough kids are gone. I’m the one who holds the hands of moms these days, not the other way around. Actually, I have been holding moms’ hands for a decade now, even as some of my close ADN friends were still holding mine. I was once told by a therapist that I should not have started ADN until after I had “recovered” from my own experiences,... more

A social worker made yet another visit to our home this morning.

We are in the process of finalizing the adoption of a wonderful little group of five siblings. When they were originally placed with us, the children were in foster care placed with a plan to reunify with the birthmother. Six months later, the birthmom chose to relinquish her parental rights and we were asked to adopt. We agreed. That was 2.5 years ago – and we are STILL in the process of adopting these kids! Sometimes I wonder if it will EVER be over?!? Glad to have previous... more

I had written a few posts on the dangers, as well as the damage caused by adoptive stepparents not trying to bond with their adoptive stepchildren, or giving up too soon on establishing a bond with them. There were many times in my own situation where I was so fed up, heartbroken, and too tired to want to continue trying to form a closer bond with my adopted stepson.

If I had a nickel for every time I called my mom either in tears of grief, or frustration, exclaiming, “I give up, I just can’t do this anymore…” well then, I wouldn’t have to write... more

Lifemothers is a website that has tons of information for pregnant women considering adoption and birthmothers or “lifemothers” as the site calls them.

Skye Hardwick, birthmother, is the creator of the website Lifemothers. She prefers the term Lifemother over birthmother. As she explains “Lifemoms do more than give birth, we give roots, answers, and love.” You can find a detailed explanation of the term lifemother and why Skye prefers it to birthmother.... more

Link: Biracial Koreans

This is a topic that interests me. It’s something that I wasn’t very aware of until I started blogging. I had a vague idea that things weren’t one hundred percent, but until I started reading about Hines Ward, I didn’t realize how bad the situation had become.

The article “Treatment of Biracial Korean a national disgrace” by Gwon Su-hyeon intrigued me on more than one level. First I am always amazed... more

Over the past several weeks, I have been very ill. I have a bone infection in my foot. So I was sent home with a PicLine IV. Each day I have had 2000 milligrams of Vancomyicn drifting through my IV to help cure the bone infection.

My surgeon said to "Stay Off My Feet." So my house needs cleaned, my outside Christmas lights still need taken down and I have no energy to do it.

Thank goodness for my husband. He managed to put away most of the boxes from where I took down the inside decorations. So a little at a time I have been trying to get it done.

My daughter Angela is so spoiled. I really hadn't noticed until lately exactly how spoiled we have let her become.... more