Continued from this post...

-No matter how wonderful an adoptive family is or how beneficial or even life-saving adoption is for a child, it is extremely important that the loss that child has endured is not ignored or swept under the proverbial carpet. Every child that is adopted, even from the most dire of circumstances, has suffered loss. Losing a birth family, culture, language, home, friends and entire life is significant and often traumatic for a child, and will have effects on them throughout the rest of their lives.

It is also important to remember that although we often see... more

The first tantrum our daughter had was over food. It would not be her last food related tantrum. Things have progressed in the almost ten months we have been home but I’m not sure if some of these behaviors will ever be completely resolved. I had read about hording food, picky eaters, or those with sensory issues that could not tolerate different textures. Our daughters issue seemed to be a voracious hunger all the time and her rages over food. In Russia a tantrum would ensue as soon as she saw her food being prepared, she screamed between... more

I get some ideas for this blog from the discussions that go on on some of the email adoption groups that I belong to.

One discussion that has been going round and round lately is the one revolving around the idea of adoption being a way to “save a child”.

This is a complicated one, and one that seems to come up fairly frequently on the email groups, so I thought I would tackle it here.

Here are my thoughts, in total random order.

-No one should ever adopt for the SOLE reason of wanting to save a child. There are many other ways that someone can save a child. You can sponsor a child so that they can remain in their family/village and get food and an education,... more

Tomorrow, January 31, is the last day for public comment on agencies seeking Hague Accreditation. If you have not already given your input ... good, bad or indifferent ... please take a minute or two to add your voice.

Follow this link and fill in the Council on Accreditation's form. You can choose to comment anonymously.

********************************************************************************* Passing along information:

This year's... more

This link extolls all the virtues of maternity homes. Yet, three young women in Utah were so desperate to escape from the home that they were in that they resorted to whacking the director over the head and fleeing. The mother of one of the young women was quoting as saying:

Castro said she knew her 16-year-old daughter didn't like being at New Hope. Far away from her friends and boyfriend, the girl didn't like not being able call or e-mail... more

It doesn’t need to cost a lot of money to adopt a child. Money is a tricky topic among adoptive families. Yet, it is a reality for all of us. It isn’t “better” if your child’s adoption costs a lot; it isn’t “better” if your child’s adoption was less expensive.

However, I often run across families who feel they can not afford to adopt. These families should know that it doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. There are some methods of adoption that are less expensive. Don’t let the financial aspect alone deter you from adopting... more

Continued from part 1

The first tool that I mentioned in our family's top ten for facilitating communication is to gesture, gesture, gesture, or learn some basic sign language.

Think of the game Charades. It works because people are willing to gesture and act out their point.

When Ben came home, he had no functional language to speak of. He only had 3 gestures that the staff in his orphanage used to communicate with him.... more

I would like to share the top 10 tools we have used in our home for reducing the language barrier when we adopted children who did not speak English. Just as a hammer may not work in a situation where you need a screwdriver, if one of the tools below doesn't work for you, don't be afraid to try another.

Use plenty of gestures and learn some basic sign language. Learn key phrases such as "Are you hungry?" or "I love you" in your child's native tongue. ... more

It is never to early to show off those tiny pearls that are growing inside your babies mouth. It also is never to early to begin good dental health.

They make a ton of good products that will attract your toddler to brushing his or her teeth after each meal. Everything from Sponge Bob to Dora can be found on the tooth brush isle. Including good tasting tooth paste.

They even have baby mouth brushes that fit over mom's finger tip that can be used to clean your babies gums and the little teeth that are coming through.

Some children... more

With all the information out there for adult adoptees seeking to access original birth records when searching for birthparents, I thought it would be good to discuss how having access in an open adoption can benefit your child and their rights to their own information.

It might not sound like a big deal, getting a copy of your adopted child’s original birth certificate, after all you may already know all the information that it would show anyway. For many adoptees however, one of the most stinging realities of being an adopted person lies... more