Love is feeling connected and love without the connection of blood or DNA, which society thinks is the foundation of love. The love that comes with adoption is the true unconditional love. When adoptive parents hold their children in their arms, they do not think of the past or where that child came from. Yes, they remember the loss and sacrifice that a birth mother made. That child in your arms becomes a part of you, to the point you can see yourself in that child whether it is their laugh, their personality, or their funny little looks they give. That child grows to become your child, with the love that any child has for their parents without the thought of adoption.

The relationship... more

I received a link to the "Readers' guide to Adoption-Related Literature" from the adoption group that I belong to. It's a huge list of different adoption titles for adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, etc...

Link: Literature List

Some of the categories are:

Adoptees (Non-Fiction) Birth Parents Searching Adoptive Parents

Example: Adopting in America: How to Adopt Within One Year. Randall B Hicks. 1993.... more

In the past two days I've stressed the importance of making time for your parented child and yourself during visits with your placed child. Another important person to make time for would be your spouse (or significant other). While it is true that your spouse is an adult and can therefore handle his or her own emotions, taking... more

Dear Expectant Mother,

You are in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy. You are probably feeling many different emotions; scared, confused, overwhelmed, and indecisive, just to name a few. Yet, you are probably in awe and somewhat connected to the little life growing inside of you.

You may or may not have support from the father of your baby, your friends and your family. Regardless of the amount of support you have, you are facing many challenges in the road ahead.

You have the option to parent. You wonder if you will be a good mother. You... more

With about two trips of randomly circling the parking lot, and a lurch out of nowhere towards the curb with an abandoned building behind it, which had the voice in my head screaming “Oh Lord this is it, here we either die or the insurance goes through the roof, JUMP, now, before its too late,” yet he managed to swerve the car back towards the entire empty large space of the parking lot, and bring the car to rest back at the same spot we had begun.

He sat there for a moment, and finally I reached over and put the car in park before he managed... more

He jumped out of the car and walked quickly around to the drivers side and hopped right on in, buckling up his seat belt. I got in the passenger side, and buckled up, while he firmly placed his foot on the gas peddle, revving the engine quite hard. “I am going to die in a church parking lot” was the first thought to come to mind, as I gently reminded him that he had to take the car out of ‘park.’ I got the typical ‘oh yeah’ response from a teenager who is half listening as he grabbed the shifter and began yanking at it with all of his might. “Yep,... more

Well by the time that I got home yesterday both my husband and my adopted stepson were glued to video game systems, sigh, so there really wasn’t much of a chance for bonding. We ordered pizza for dinner, but I don’t think my adopted stepson really enjoyed any of them. I was beginning to wonder if it was a sign that things were going to go downhill and I was certainly nervous about spending the day together today.

I decided before he got home to charge up the cameras, I am an avid photographer so I have several high-end cameras around the house,... more

1) Everyone needs to wear their OWN underwear. From now on, you get in trouble for wearing other people’s chonies.

2) Honey, stop by the pet store for a urine odor removal product (for our child). Be sure to get a product for cats. (Sad that I should know this.)

3) Did you say I’m not your “real” mom? Oh! I get it! You mean I’m not your vagina mom!

4) I see that you like the word ‘a**h***. Because I’m a good mom, I want you to be best at that word. You may bring a new fact about the anus to the table every night for the whole... more

This picture was taken on Charlie’s first birthday, September 20, 2002. His party was the following day, September 21. I thought that I would be ok not seeing Charlie on his actual birthday, but I woke up feeling very sad and called A. a few times through out the day.

She had previously suggested that we meet for dinner on that day, but I had previously said no, not sure how I would feel on his actual birthday. To make a long story short, I needed to see him that day. I needed to be with Charlie and his family, so we did end up meeting for dinner.... more

ME NEITHER.

As you have probably heard around the web lately, United States Citizen and Immigration Services is trying to raise the already way-too-high in-my-not-so-humble-opinion-fees that they charge adoptive parents. There is a comment period that is ending in the next few days (April 2), so please, if you haven't already, let them know that this STINKS.

Here is the press release, dated Jan. 31, 2007.

January 31, 2007

Press Release

BUILDING AN IMMIGRATION SERVICE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

USCIS Proposes New Fees for Immigration and Naturalization Benefit Applications

WASHINGTON—U.S. Citizenship... more