Online Adoption Resources – Legal

Listed here, for your reference, are a few sites that have legal resources. They are not referrals to lawyers, and, as with anything, you need to use your best judgment when using resources such as these:

Adoption Law Site: A searchable database with statues, summaries, and state codes, in addition to other resources

Adoption.com: Our sister site has a section devoted to laws by state

About.com: Another site with laws grouped by state

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I think that this movie is a great opportunity for adoption related discussion between parents and chidlren. I am sure there will be critics, but I really did think it was handled well (from an adoptive parent point of things). Since there is no "happy reunion with the birth mother", I wonder if birth mothers will be upset with how that ended...Jenna, Jan…if you are reading, I’d love to know your thoughts on the movie.... more

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Lewis starts to wonder and think about his birth mother a lot… dreams she is out there looking for him, is his perfect mother, etc. and decides he has to find her. We know that “fantasizing” birth parents is VERY common for kids who do not know anything about their birth parents, so again, I thought this was handled realistically.

Lewis decides that since he has seen his birth mother when he was a baby, the key to finding... more

Yesterday we took our family to see “Meet the Robinsons”, the new Disney movie (released yesterday) based on the book “A Day with Wilbur Robinson” by William Joyce. Although I had seen eight million commercials for the movie before we went to see it, I had somehow missed the part about it having such a huge, central adoption theme.

While it is not a movie about transracial adoption, it has issues that are central to any adoptive family.

Here is my review of the movie as an adoptive parent (and warning… I will be giving away big parts... more

Do you have a child who struggles with attachment? Whether an infant or an older child, is eye contact too difficult for him or her? When Ben arrived home as a four year old, eye contact was way too intense and intimate for him to handle. He loved to be rocked when he was having a hard time, and even regressed for a short time where he wanted to be held and drink from a sippy cup while I rocked him, but would he make eye contact during those times? No way.

How do you encourage children to make eye... more

There are many good reasons to breastfeed an adopted baby. The most obvious reason is that breast milk is better for a baby than formula. You cannot pick up a parenting book without being encouraged to breastfeed your baby in multiple places. There is good reason for this: breast milk offers many benefits, including the following:

Protects against allergies, asthma, and eczema Provides a variety of flavors based upon the mother’s diet Provides antibodies to protect... more

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I also think the definitions of success and the expectations of a relationship vary from person to person. While we can all look at a family where the child is clearly rude, disrespectful and ugly to be around and acknowledge that those parents are not having much fun, it can be tougher to assess a family where things are less overtly out of whack. If an intimacy-fearing child lands in a family... more

Green Card

You'll want to keep an eye on your mail box. Within a couple months you should be receiving your child's 'welcome letter' and green card in the mail. The timing of this varies widely. Some families receive these within a few weeks of arrival. Some families get two 'welcome letters'. Some families wait up to a year to get anything in the mail. And some families never get a green card. if you do not get your child's green card within a couple months, you may want to contact your local USCIS office just to... more

March has been another busy month for me, both here and in real life. It came in like a lion, in both weather and real life happenings and is leaving like a lamb. The weather is calm, beautiful and sunny and there is a smile on my face. Ending on a good note is always a plus.

I spoke a lot about visiting in open adoptions this month, leading up to this current visit. I started out seeking information for birth parents (or adoptive parents) regarding visits and found that there is, basically, nothing.... more

Are you afraid of Chinese grannies?

Respect their power.