That day they walked into the adoption agency, nobody really told them. They never sat them down and explained how difficult the journey would be. It wouldn’t end the day they walked out the door, once the signing of the papers, crossing the T’s and dotting I’s had occurred. What they had begun that day would always haunt them in some way, always shadowing the other joyful moments in life, it would be there, often unspoken but loudly, painfully there.

People told them some of the costs, but this was only in dollars and not... more

I was just talking about a new study regarding openness in adoption. I ended with this quote and then stated that it needed a blog of its own. I stand by that and here we go!

Birth mothers were less satisfied with their degree of contact than were adoptive parents.

Again, in reading blogs and talking with other adoptive and birth families, I would have to agree with this particular statement. However, I know of quite a few adoptive families that are longing for a more open... more

I've talked a lot about openness this month between my advice and suggestions regarding visits and discussing my own issues with visits. It's an important topic to discuss as it becomes increasingly more "popular" in the adoption world. In fact, I'm seeing that it is becoming an increasingly popular topic for studies... such as this one which looks at openness over time, whose role is important and feelings regarding increases or decreases in contact.

Originally published in the December 2006 issue of Family Process (Volume 45, Issue 4). "The authors recommend that agency policies regarding mediated... more

So, as you may or may not know, I work in a rather odd newsroom while I'm not doing this thing on here.

While writing that previous entry on the hexagram heng and how it represents an unusual sort of marriage, I get assigned to write two stories based on news clips from China -- one on this married couple and one on this married couple.

Must mean *something*, mustn't it?

The bidding for part of the failed Russian energy company Yukos went pretty much as expected on Tuesday. Rosneft, an energy company that is controlled by the Russian government, won with a lowball offer of $7.6 billion after the only other bidder, a joint venture that included Britain's BP, dropped out after just four minutes. One surprising... more

The opposite extreme from the happy birth mother is the angry or sad birth mother. She makes many people highly uncomfortable and in an open adoption can really can ruin the happy mood of the adoptive family. I wonder how many adoptions close because an angry or sad birth mother dampens the mood in the adoptive family? Some adoptive moms go the extra mile when a birth mom is having a difficult time - I do know that is the case. Read some of Deb's blogs if you need proof of that.

Reunited birth moms are often REALLY angry, and can be a thorn in... more

So many, many people complain - I think everyone does - that there's nothing to eat on Passover. Or at least nothing decent. One may not eat "chametz" on Passover, that is, anything "leavened" as well as certain food that are also restricted. This includes - for example - crackers, bread, pasta, cereal etc. Beans, rice and legumes are also not allowed for most Jews - check with your rabbi.

I guess if you've been on the Atkin's diet, it can't be that bad. The "Passover diet" might actually be healthy - a good time to try more fruits and veggies that we all ignore a bit too often. And it's a time to be creative in recipes - many... more

Three pizzerias in Ohio have decided to think outside the [pizza] box and help find parents who don’t pay their child support. Instead of attaching a poster of coupons to the pizza box as so many establishments do these days, they are attaching a poster of a different kind, a wanted poster. Ten different deadbeat parents are featured on the poster, pictures along with last known addresses, followed by a toll free number, a tip line if you will, for pizza lovers to call in if they have any information regarding one of the faces on the poster.

The... more

part 2

It was finally time to get on the airplane and we were seated in the middle rows with Alyssa, Micheline and I in one row, and Jeff, Taylor, Ben and Caleb directly behind us. Thankfully, not every seat on the plane was full, so when it came time to sack out for some sleep, the other person in our row moved and Micheline and Alyssa were able to spread out a bit more.

Due to tail winds, the flight coming home is about 3 hours shorter than the... more

A few years ago we applied to adopt a special needs baby who had retinoblastoma in both eyes. The agency spent several months deciding with whom they would place the baby so we spent several months studying the disease. When I saw this article I was intrigued as I still think about that baby sometimes and wonder how she is doing. This article says that the typical “cure” for retinoblastoma is to remove the affected eye. However, at the time we applied for the baby, she was being treated with Chemotherapy and her progress... more