Continuing with my thoughts on why some people are reluctant to acknowledge the issues adoptees face…

Not only do I think people in general are reluctant to address negative emotions, I think adoptive parents, who often have suffered the grief and loss associated with infertility, are perhaps even more inclined to want a “Beaver Cleaver” parenting experience.

I was fortunate enough to have two healthy biological children when we started on our adoption journey. When things didn’t work out for me with my fairy tale ideals,... more

This piece was written by Judy Kelly and copyrighted in 1999. It is being reprinted with permission. Please see the copyright disclosure at the end of the blog series.

During the mid-1960’s, there came together a set of social phenomena that resulted in the relinquishment of unprecedented numbers of infants by birthmothers. This thesis explores the long-term impact of relinquishment on women who lost their children to adoption during the years 1965 and 1972. These years marked the coincidence of two major events: (1) the emergence of a sexual revolution... more

How does it work? I'm still stuck on figuring out how Anna will relate to her older relatives, her religious heritage, etc. both adopted and biological. When we thank G-d in a few days for taking us out of Egypt, will she too feel that she can in some way connect to the story, even though she wasn't born Jewish? Or will she feel a disconnect, finding it easier to relate to being African American. When I tell her stories about my grandparents and great-grandparents - the stories that my mother told me before bed - will Anna really and truly feel that they too are her relatives? Or will she always look at them as mine?

I think that having Anna involved in the preparations for the holiday... more

Adam has been extremely clutchy as of late. And when I say 'clutchy,' I actually mean "DO NOT PUT ME DOWN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES." So, I've been spending my days basically holding him the whole time or having my husband take a turn. Which is really what I need right before Passover. On the other hand, there were so many years that I really wanted to be here - so, I suppose I should say thank G-d I get to complain about my kid being cranky.

Meanwhile, I have figured out how to vacuum, sweep and fold laundry while holding a 21 pound kid at the same time. I have not yet figured out how to wash dishes while holding him - any suggestions welcome. My husband has long since figured out... more

It looks like a new break through in the treatment of Leukemia may be in the near future. Apparently researchers at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital have discovered why the drug Asparaginase doesn’t cure some children with acute lymphoblastic leukemia but does cure other children. Cells within the bone marrow actually release a lot of an amino acid called asparagine. The leukemia cells must have this amino acid to survive and the drug is supposed to deplete the supply of it. But sometimes, some of the leukemia cells are able... more

So, we're at the halfway point. Cool. Smooth sailing from here on out, as long as we persevere, right?

This is the inverse of the previous hexagram, xian, which was about newlyweds. This one is about long familiarity and lasting-ness.

What's the character mean? The character for heng shows a heart next to a boat traveling between two shores. Oddly, I was just looking at the clickable Dao de jing on... more

Alina really, REALLY wanted to have extensions put in here. We bought 4 bags of "hair" in town for $1 each. (It's actually yak hair.) Yesterday, two hairdressers came to us and for less than $50, spent 4 1/2 hours plaiting her hair. She loves it! I'm getting used to it, LOL. It is a BIG departure from her normal short, straight hair. I think it should stay in about forever, from the looks of it!

12 Things I love about My daughter in honor of her 12 months home. It’s been one year since this little girl joined our life. What a year it has been.

I Love…..

The way she say’s “ MWAAA” when she wants a kiss….. she never says the word Kiss.

How she will always ask “ One more time?” …. One more time huggie, One more time slide, One more time Mwaaa, One more time please?

No Fruit Salad!!!….. Papa & I love the way she will adamantly exclaim No fruit salad when we try to sing the Wiggles... more

For those of you who are just looking into adopting, you might be surprised to learn that it is possible to breastfeed an adopted baby. I was absolutely FLOORED when I learned this. I assumed that missing out on this experience was another one of my infertility losses to be grieved.

I learned about adoptive breastfeeding by reading a book about adoption. (I wish I could remember which book it was. I read so many books while I was researching the adoption process.) The author was talking about adopting an infant and... more

I’ve always been a huge Bette Midler fan. She was one of the singers that I molded myself after as a girl. I loved her music and thought she was so cool with her bright red hair.

Not too long after becoming a birthmother, I came across a Bette Midler song called Lullaby in Blue. In the song, Bette takes on the role of a birthmother and talks about how society treated her when she was pregnant at seventeen, calling her a “stupid girl.” She sings of how she thinks of him each year on his birthday and about the children she went on to have and their resemblance... more