After a few years of two steps forward, one step back with some of our kids, we finally found an amazing attachment therapist. I tried a psychologist and social worker or two in the past whose eyes kind of glazed over and who said, "huh?" when I questioned them on their experience with adoption and attachment.

Another who advertised herself as being well-versed in adoption issues had a website where she was wearing face paint in stripes across her cheeks, and held a drum on her lap. Her website said she led women's drumming groups through self-discovery and awareness weekends, and that she went into the mountains every other weekend to "find herself" in her drumming circles. I figured... more

So, yesterday we just had our post-placement. This is the last of our home studies, when a social worker (other than the one to whom I am married) comes and evaluates your family to make sure you're all, like, not going to toss a baby in the crock pot for dinner or something.

(We have been tempted.)

The post-placement gets done at the end of everything, a year after the bundle of joy is plopped in your arms at the Social Welfare Institute or Civil Affairs Office or hotel conference room or wherever and you're wondering, "Is this it? When... more

One difficult part of foster parenting is telling your foster children devastating and life changing news. I have been told by others that this is not my job that it should come from the caseworker or CASA worker. The reasoning behind this thought is that you as the foster mom will be “the bad guy”. This way they will not be mad at you and you can be the one that provides comfort.

In the beginning, I thought that made sense and would be helpful. After gaining some experience, you learn the reality of it. Some caseworkers do not want to be the bearer of bad news, so it is left up to the foster parents to handle. In time I realized that was not a bad thing.

Is it easier to hear... more

The two most common challenges that families experience with post institutionalized children relate to sleep and food. I knew this prior to adopting my darling daughter. But I didn't realize sleep or the lack of sleep would be an issue for both of us.

Natasha came home with PTSD which severely interfered with her ability to sleep. I had always read that sleeping pills were addictive or ineffective for... more

Memorial Day is a day to remember those gone before us, and to give thanks to all our service men and women. I am extremely grateful for those who serve(d) in the armed forces, and I do thank them.

My thoughts today are not on relatives who are gone, but instead on my son. After yesterday’s disaster, we are still providing line of sight supervision and I am angry about it. I am angry about what was planned to be a very fun family weekend. We were going... more

About six years ago the United States Congress created the adoption tax credit. It originally was $5,000 but they was raised to $10,000. Many adoptive families (including me) have taken advantage of this credit to help fund their adoption.

The credit is awesome. It isn't a deduction where you reduce your taxable income. If you paid $12,000 in federal taxes, you get $10,000 back after your Kazakhstan adoption is final.

The adoption tax credit will expire in... more

I have another great kid, pictured here with me; he’s 13 years old, the oldest of his sibling group of five. They’ve been with me for five years now.

A very challenging group with severe emotional issues. He’s had his own, has demonstrated some disturbed behavior at times, but he has responded in therapy and decided that I must be the real deal. He’s open and affectionate, polite and even grateful at times.

He’s the older brother of a 12 year old here. This twelve year old, Jose, is either somewhat autistic or it is Asperger’s... more

Short term foster care can be a few weeks to a few months. When they remove child to do a proper investigation of possible abuse, the children then would be placed in short term foster care. You do not see this wanted a lot, most investigations will take place in the home and the children then will only be removed if there is some form of abuse occurring in the home. In case where the children are removed first and the investigation follows, this tends to involve serious concerns were the death of a child may be present.

Another reason can be a parent is facing a crisis whether it be financial, health, other personal reasons, etc. and they do not have family or others to turn to... more

I have nothing but the utmost respect for Nancy Thomas and the work she does for and on behalf of troubled children and their families. I thought you might enjoy hearing some of Nancy's perspectives about our lives in the trenches.

Setting the tone for this interview, what is the first thing you want to tell the readers about who you are and what you do?

I am a mom, that is my highest title. I also coach, support and encourage other parents who live with emotionally disturbed... more

I’ve been living in an open adoption for almost six years now (come this September) and I’ve gotten to know quite a few birthmothers and adoptive mothers over the years. I’ve seen some open adoptions flourish successfully and I’ve seen other open adoptions fail sadly.

I think our open adoption is going pretty smoothly and is successful. Sure, we have bumps along the road, but for the most part, things go smoothly.

Below is my advice to adoptive parents and birth parents who may be making an open adoption plan with one another.

Before... more