There really is a deep social stigma against anyone who places a child for adoption, and though perceptions may have changed over the decades, those negatives have certainly not completely gone away. Birthparents are often subjected to rude comments and perceptions that are judgmental and unfair. People might wonder aloud why anyone would “give away” their baby. What kind of person does something that most could never imagine doing? While I have begun to understand how hurtful society can be concerning birthparents, as the years progress on... more

I title many of my posts with the words “older adopted children” because that’s what I write about constantly. When other parents of older adopted children google search terms, they are more likely to find this blog if I do so.

I apologize openly to all my children for using the A word here so much. At home, in our real life I don’t use it. I don’t say, “This is my birth child,” or introduce anyone as my adopted child. These are all my children, my real children and I love them all. More importantly, they know, or are still learning that I love them.

Adoption is the same as birth in the eyes of the law, and in my eyes and we share the same last name,... more

Interesting article out of Hollywood today: Seems that Queen Latifah (born Dana Owens) has sparked a controversy about adoption. In reading her remarks, I thought she was very clear, articulate and went out of her way to defuse any offense. But it “just shows to go ya” that adoption is right up there with religion and politics in terms of discussion time-bombs!

In reading the comments under the blog article, it seems to me that some commentators took the star’s... more

I really appreciated Cindy Bodie’s comment in response to my last blog about how much she adores her older children, even though they put her through hell. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Foster Cline a few years ago. I told him how it upset me that I was getting so cynical. He said he completely understood but he... more

I haven't written much about hair in awhile, so I thought I'd share a recent hairdo that turned out especially good on my 5 year old daughter. I did a bunch of cornrows that began at a center part, and then went diagonally backwards to two low ponytails, one behind each ear.

I still struggle with keeping the front edge of the hair in the braids, because she has a lot of short hair at that front edge. But one nice thing about this particular do was that it was easy to freshen up the look of the hairdo by redoing just the two braids at the front hairline when they got fuzzy in 3-4... more

What an awesome thing for parents to be able to say! (And how difficult it is at times.) Juxtaposed to the Benoit tragedy in today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution was a heart-warming story about a young man with autism who graduated from our local high school…with a regular education diploma no less.

Not too many lines in and you realize that this child is not only autistic, but he was adopted from El Salvador at age 2. Now the article really has my attention. I quickly... more

The letter "S" is for siblings in this post of my Transracial Adoption ABCs.

Siblings - There is lots to think about when it comes to siblings and adoption.

Are you open to adopting siblings? Sibling groups are often the hardest to place, because many adoptive parents do not want more than one new child at a time, however it has been shown that siblings often do better with their adjustment than single children because they have each other as a "constant" in their lives.

From a child's point of view, being... more

From Newborn Adoption: The First Week:

4. Anticipate sleep difficulties.

When I say anticipate sleep difficulties, I am not talking about the baby’s problems with sleep: I am talking about yours! This was something that I did not see coming. Yes, I knew that I would lose sleep by taking care of a baby throughout the night, but I did not understand the added issues that... more

For those of you who haven’t turned on the TV lately, Chris Benoit, an internationally-known WWE wrestler killed his wife, his 7-year-old son and himself over a three-day period last weekend. The news broke on Sunday here in Georgia (the family lived in an affluent area south of Atlanta). But the details are now revealing that the son’s special needs had much to do with this tragedy.

Apparently Benoit’s son Daniel had ... more

As a birthmother, there are times throughout the days and years that we will feel triggered sadness, meaning the sadness is triggered by an event or holiday such as our child’s birthday, Mother’s Day, or even something like attending a baby shower.

On these days we feel the loss of our motherhood greatly. We are saddened for our loss and the hurt and heartache our souls feel. Some may think that the sadness is lessened because of open adoptions (and it could be, I’ve never experienced anything other than an open adoption) but regardless of the intensity... more