It takes a lot to parent a traumatized child. They need more second chances, more reminders, more guidance, more structure, you name it, and they simply require more of it. It can be hard for parents to keep pouring themselves into a child, especially when the child seems to go out of his or her way to make sure that absolutely no progress is seen being made, if its actually being made at all. With traumatized children being... more

I grew up with a pretty cool Dad. Not only was he involved in my life, but he was someone I could count on through all things. As I was making my adoption plan for the Munchkin, an involved Dad was something I wanted for my own daughter. She got it, tenfold, in J, her Dad (adoptive).

Watching them together pleases me to no end. While I have discontent with other things in our adoption or with adoption and general, as I've said, J and D have given me no reason to feel that way towards them as parents. J is a great Daddy... more

Jacquelyn Tran has recently had two entrepreneurial honors bestowed upon her: the Enst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award and Inc Magazine named her one of the ‘Hottest Entrepreneurs Under 30.” These accolades are in addition to being named one of 2006’s most successful businesspeople under 30 by Inc and OC Metro magazines.

30 year old Tran is the president of Perfume Bay, which is an extremely successful internet based perfume business. She grew up in a family involved... more

We have had some amazing things happen while we are in Kansas. One of them has been seeing Hannah show that she is developing a conscience. It is a neat thing, and it blows me away because Sammy is now 14, and that development has still not happened in him.

Last night, Hannah was running around the house, which she was told not to do, and ended up breaking a statute. She immediately began to meltdown, but out of guilt.

We processed how to accept responsibility, how to make a sincere apology, and how to offer restitution.... more

Nancy posted about families with one kid that causes more problems than the rest and I have my own two cents worth as I do agree with her 100%

A parent simply can’t treat all kids the same way, can’t be fair all the time to all the kids. In our family some kids have earned more privileges than others just as some have lost more. That’s how the world functions.

I have a 20 year old who lost his driver’s license for six months and another 20 year old who didn’t because he paid for his ticket and didn’t miss his court date. That’s the way the world functions.

I... more

My last post was in response to a poignant series of questions by a reader who is struggling with some very difficult kids. In her response to my post, she elaborated that she had two tough kids, making the line-of-sight supervision even harder. She says they recognize the difficulty the mom has in micromanaging two kids, stating … “They use those fleeting unsupervised seconds (and I do mean seconds) to destroy property,... more

I've been doing a lot of talking this week about grief and loss. I'm sure some folks are thinking this is overkill. I've been there. Especially when you're at the start of the adoption process, it can be overwhelming to read about the issues that adoptees might face. We want our kids to be happy, and we want adoption just to be another great way to build a family.

I think y'all know by now that I am a passionate advocate for adoption. As I mother both the children who were born to me and the children whom I was blessed to be able to adopt, I can say without reservation that the adopted children are just as gratifying to parent, and that I feel just as much their mother. They... more

We went over to watch Nancy’s pony ride yesterday. I think horses are beautiful and welcome a chance to see the majestic animals.

The place where the pony was being ridden also had several other animals including many chickens, geese, turkeys, ducks and some Shetland ponies. The chickens had many little chicks running around and they were cute as can be. I’m a sucker for baby animals of just about any kind, except snakes.

Hannah wanted to hold a baby chick, and we were finally able to capture one.... more

Today was LuLu’s first day at a social skills day camp. She was excited to be going (independent of mom) and so was I. As is often expected with her excitement, she began to escalate. We couldn’t find her tennis shoes, and for a moment I thought a meltdown was about to start.

Instead, she pulled it together (albeit shaky) and we settled for some heavy-soled sandals and a rush to the car. She started to go down her negative thought path, but I kept talking her back, reminding her how much fun she was going to have, how much she had been looking forward to this and... more

School, and how to handle school with a newly adopted older child is a topic that comes up frequently on email groups and adoption forums. So today, under the letter "S" in my Transracial Adoption ABCs, I am going to write about school.

School - Choosing how to educate your children is a very personal decision. There are parents who find success in quality public schools, there are parents who choose great private schools and there are parents who find homeschooling to be the perfect way to educate their children.

When... more