I was reminded as I read an apology letter that a friend’s son had sent to her that my daughter no longer has Reactive Attachment Disorder. This young man basically told his parents that he was sorry that he got so upset when they treated him shabbily. That he loved them when they gave him what he wanted and didn’t ask him to take on any responsibility, and that he felt like others in the family had it much better than he did. In other words it was a “no apology” apology letter. And it just underscored this young man’s lack of attachment to his... more

Many families consider bringing another child along with them on an adoption trip. Here are some things you should think about when you are making your travel decisions.

What's Your Child Like?

One big consideration is probably the age of the child. In my experience, kids over 10 or so tend to do really well with this type of trip. A younger child is going to be more needy and take more of your time, especially when jetlagged. With younger kids you'll want to take a hard look at their personality before you decide to bring them.

For example: -- Is your child fairly easy-going? -- Can she fall asleep in unusual places? -- Is she... more

Celia and Frank adopted their daughter when she was 18 months old. By that time, they had already adopted her brother as well from foster care. He was five years old and I was one of their first babysitters. Celia and I have been friends for about twenty years.

Last weekend, I had a party to attend to celebration their daughter's 18th birthday and her high school graduation. Mixed emotions nearly caused me to call and cancel as I really did not want to go.

To say that her husband is not a favorite of mine would be a gross understatement.... more

I had previously blogged about a horrible case of child abuse in Wisconsin. More information has come to light on this case, and it is quite disturbing.

If you’re not familiar with the case, four children were found in a house in a small town in Wisconsin. An eleven year old boy was severely abused, his fifteen year old sister had participated in his abuse, and then helped two other adults murder and bury her mother in the front yard.

In... more

You should stay at home as much as possible so you don’t miss any phone calls. If you must leave the house, do so only for short periods of time. Many social workers will go to the next name and phone number on their placement list, rather than leave you a message or try your alternate phone number. This is especially true if the potential placement happens to be an infant with very few special needs, whom they can easily place.

It is imperative for you to have a cell phone, and never turn it off. Give your home number and... more

Here's a question for Boomers to think about, especially those of us with small children:

How much of a commitment are you willing and able to make to help your aging parents?

Or to put it more bluntly:

How much of your lifestyle do you potentially give up so your mom and dad can lead the kind of life you ... or they ... think they should lead?

These are being asked in USA Today, and should... more

Summertime used to be filled with news of Russian orphans coming to the United States for summer camp programs that brought them into contact with prospective adoptive parents.

Not this year. Thanks to the uncertainty surrounding the re-accreditation of their adoption programs, all the stalwarts of the camp-to-adopt movement have put their programs on hiatus this summer. I've found only one camp-to-adopt program for kids from Russia that is running now, and I'll tell you more about that in a minute.

For some, the break will be permanent:... more

On Sunday will be my birthday! (Hence the name Julie…born in July.) I will be 25 years old (again)! As has been the case for quite a few years, birthday celebrations have been subdued and scaled back from perhaps what they might have been if we didn’t have medical, therapy, attorney and educational bills looming large over our heads.

So how do you have a “Happy” birthday without ruining the budget?

1. Get someone else to throw the party. This is easier if your birthday is close to a major holiday. As long as I can remember my birthday... more

Before I get into today's news topic, I'd like to take a page from Heather's blogstyle book and begin with a few statements in bold:

I AM FULLY IN FAVOR OF REFORMING ADOPTION. I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE ASPECTS OF THE ADOPTION PROCESS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT UNSAVORY. SOME ADOPTIONS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN. IN ADOPTION, AS IN MOST THINGS, MONEY IS AT THE ROOT OF EVIL.

Now, I'll get to this story out of India titled, "The Business of Adoption".

This... more

In writing about Vietnamese adult adoptees adopting from their birth country, I came across this study that I would love to give you more of, but can't because the full text costs $35 to access. What I do have, however, is the abstract.

This short summation of what is certain to be a long and detailed research article put... more