When you're at the beginning of the adoption process, one of the things that can weigh heavy on your mind is the homestudy. What will it be like to have a social worker come inspect your house? What kinds of things will he or she be looking for? What if she says your house isn't big enough? And just how clean does it have to be, anyway?

With our first homestudy I cleaned like a maniac: in closets, under beds, in the fridge, everywhere. I even scrubbed the grout in the master bathroom with bleach and a toothbrush. It was out of control.

Lots of other families have anxiety... more

Kinship Placements & Family Involvement in Foster Care

Make contact with the child’s caseworker by telephone letting him or her know that you are willing to provide kinship placement. Follow your phone call up with a certified letter to the caseworker stating your desires to be involved, along with making references to the phone call you had with her, including her name, date, time, etc. Making a paper trail in your contact with the caseworker and your desires to be involved is... more

Consider this a corollary to my last post on appropriate consequences, as I often use Scripture memorization to help reinforce what the Bible says about specific actions.

For example, a major issue we’ve had with my daughter has to do with the way she speaks to people. Sometimes she is intentionally rude, other times she speaks impulsively, and her hurtful remarks appear to be unintentional.... more

I’m in yet another hotel room as I write this. Yesterday was spent having an upper GI endoscopic exam, followed by a really fun party with my vet school classmates. The upper GI exam confirmed that I will need to return for endoscopic surgery sometime after the first of next year.

After taking a nap to sleep off the happy drugs from my GI exam, we headed to the home of one of my classmates for another party. Beth and Dora were the only two kids there. Many of my classmates commented on how polite and well-behaved they were. The girls spent some of the time... more

While when most of us picture someone getting fingerprinted we picture a criminal of some sorts, all adoptive parents must also be fingerprinted during the adoption process, and sometimes they need to be fingerprinted two or more times. Here is some info on the when, where and why of fingerprinting and adoption.

For your homestudy - If you are adopting domestically, most states now require that you are fingerprinted locally to check for a criminal background, during your homestudy process. This is usually required before your homestudy can be officially approved,... more

I absolutely love kids who tantrum. For whatever reason, I can totally turn off my anger emotion during this time. I don’t know why, but it becomes great fun for me.

Kids tantrum or rage for a variety of reasons. Some want your attention, some only know how to show emotion through anger, some kids are frustrated at not being able to communicate what they need, want or feel, or even when they are tired.

Tantrums are age appropriate in the two or three year old age bracket. One important thing to remember is where your child is at emotionally. If your child... more

From the time my biological son was old enough to talk, he’s known about the word “consequences.” When we make good choices, there are often positive consequences; and when we make poor choices, there will be negative consequences.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to find the balance for appropriate negative consequences. Rewards are fairly easy to hand out. But meaningful negative consequences, particularly for children who have suffered trauma, take some thought.

My daughter is six, and as I have mentioned, has control issues that manifest themselves in the area... more

I recently read about a very novel idea about exploring a new career.

Brian Kurth founded VocationVacations and it offers clients a risk-free chance to test drive a new career. In a three day vacation they are matched with a mentor and immersed in a different profession. The top ten are chocolatier, dog trainer, songwriter, PR Director, wine maker, fashion buyer, Bed and Breakfast owner, sports announcer, Not-For-Profit Director and TV Producer.

I didn’t see Adoptive Mother to a Large Family of Traumatized Yet Adorable... more

Several years ago, we crafted a family mission statement. Generally, when you hear the term “mission statement” you think of large, impersonal corporations or small, struggling non-profits. Wikipedia defines it thusly, “the intention of a genuine mission statement is to keep members and users aware of the organization's purpose.”

How can you translate this to the family?

Families are comprised of individual members, not unlike a company or an organization. As each member is unique, there will be diversity... more

The founder of Craigslist expressed a little astonishment at learning that his site was the seventh most visited site on the net, with more than seven billion page views per month. Craig Newmark started Craigslist in 1995 and now has a multimillion dollar company.

He was interviewed in this month’s issue of Success Magazine and I liked the manner in which he summed up his company,

“We’re flawed, we... more