I’m a little cowed by the fact that several of my children have needed to live somewhere else in out-of-home placements. I could not meet their psychiatric needs within the confines and limitations of our family home. No one but a psychiatric facility with a staff and PRN medications would be able to keep irrational, violent children safe from themselves. The safety of others must also be considered.

This side of life has shocked me in such an abject manner. I would not have knowingly adopted... more

I saw the Four Things meme over on a friend's blog and thought that it might be fun to remake the meme a bit so that it would apply to adoption. If you feel like answering these questions on your blog, let me know in the comments section, below. Or give your own answers right in my comments, if you'd like.

Four things I thought about adoption when I was a child -- I imagined it might be cool to be adopted by someone really rich (you know, in those moments when my mom wouldn't spring for those Calvins I had my eye on) -- I imagined what I'd do if someone left a baby on my doorstep... more

Kinship placements are mostly left in the hands of the biological parents. Whether kinship placement is used or who is suggested out of the family is in the hands of the biological parents for the most part. For the family member wanting to provide a family foster placement there may be more obstacles for you to overcome if the biological parents do not support you as a kinship placement.

I have been asked how kinship foster placements work, and other information concerning them. The problem... more

A couple of announcements need spreading today.

First, the National Council for Adoption has one out about an upcoming national summit to address parent recruitment and training strategies for children in foster care.

It's to be held in Washington D.C. on the 3rd of October ... Rodney Atkins will be there. The idea is to put together a consensus statement to widely desemminate to educate, policy makers, the media, and the public about the need for adoptive and foster parent recruitment and foster care financing reform.

The contact for info is lallen@adoptioncouncil.org.

Next... more

Did you know that arthritis affects one out of every one thousand children? Most cases of juvenile arthritis are mild however; about one of every 10,000 children will have severe arthritis that doesn't go away. Many children experience an acute inflammatory arthritis following a viral or bacterial infection. While this arthritis is often briefly severe, it usually disappears within a few weeks or months.

The most common type of arthritis affecting children is Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis... more

My friend Rachel had the following observation about her daughter’s reaction to consequences during one of my recent posts. I wanted to share it with you because she offers insight into the mixed processing of children with fetal alcohol syndrome. She also shares the frustration that so many of us feel while parenting our children with fetal alcohol syndrome when they don’t seem to learn anything from their experiences.

“Things... more

One of the things that I didn't give a lot of thought to before our girls came home was the issue of contact with family and friends. I assumed I'd be glad to have the girls keep in touch with any extended family, and I thought it would be neat if they could speak with friends on the phone from time to time.

When our girls got home, I was thrilled when they received their first call from a Layla House friend. Their faces glowed, and it was such fun to hear them chattering away in Amharic. What a great way to keep their language!

What I didn't fully comprehend was how many friends they have. Our phone was ringing nearly every day for them. Sometimes 2 or 3 kids would... more

The question of how to talk with your children about your adoption has been asked. Well, this is something every adoptee probably has their idea about how it should be done.

If your children are unaware of your adoption, then start with explaining adoption in general, then explain that you were adopted. My personal opinion is do not sit down one day and unleash your whole life adoptive story to your children. The whole idea of adoption may take them some time to process. This can also allow them time to think about how you being adopted affects them and gives them the opportunity... more

Do you ever wonder what or if your child eats for lunch at school? We’ve been through all kinds of interesting scenarios with school lunch.

There is good news for foster parents. Your foster children, or children in a pre-adoptive placement, are eligible for free or reduced rates on school lunches and even school breakfast if your school offers it. You can find information here. The website is about Minnesota, but if the school accepts money from the federal government, they must adhere to... more

Although it may not feel like it in some parts of the country (like mine lately!) the first day of autumn officially was Sunday. Hopefully the weather will catch up with the calendar soon!

If you have a visit planned for this fall, I have some ideas for you!

Note: Some of the ideas below will vary depending on exactly how open your adoption is, the type of relationship you have with your child’s adoptive parents, the leeway you have with visits, and your child’s age and are intended to include the child’s adoptive parents as well.