Awhile back I read the book In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Rita J. Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda. The book interviews 24 African American or biracial adults who were adopted by white parents. As an adoptive parent I found the viewpoints in the book to be invaluable-- almost like a window into my kids' possible thoughts in the future.

Recently I had an opportunity to review a new book by the same authors -- In... more

While preparing for the long awaited adoption of our baby girl I find my thoughts turning towards her birth parents. While her birth father was not involved much in her life and was not an active parent with visitation with his daughter, he had definite anger and violence issues. Her birth mother is a complete mess and lives a very sad life of sex, drugs, violence, etc that has cost her all of her children. The heartbreak of the situation is that her birth mother continues to her life of destruction. I had hoped that that the reality of her losing this precious baby after losing two others... more

In a previous article, I discussed the benefits of establishing and maintaining traditions and rituals. That article focused mainly on holidays, though it did discuss other aspects. Now, I’d like to talk about more of the everyday “rhythms” of family life that lend themselves to traditions and rituals.

Growing up, every Saturday morning, I woke up to pancakes! I loved that ritual, and when my great-aunt (the pancake maker, and originator of the ritual) passed away, every Saturday was bittersweet for me.

So, now that... more

I've got cramps in my hands tonight. You see, I spent five hours braiding hair today. ALL the girls were in need of new styles. I started in the morning with the two year old. I did 20 or so simple hanging braids all over her head.

In the afternoon my 12 year old and I did the 5 and 9 year olds, and then in the evening I braided the 12 year old's hair. The three older girls all decided they wanted the same half-up, half-down style.

I started by making a part across the back of the head, from the top... more

In the past, twins being separated through adoption were something that did happen without thinking about the effect on the twins over the long term. Adoptive parents in most cases did not realize they were adopting a twin and the other twin was being adopted by another family. I wonder how many families would have adopted twins if they had the knowledge that it was even a possibility. How many siblings were separated from their twin because of the adoption agency’s choice? Was it only to allow more couples the chance of parenting through adoption?

An adoptee went in search of her birth mother to find she had... more

Probably the single most important thing to have in an open adoption is trust. Trust is not something that happens easily, or occurs overnight, it takes time and a lot of work from everyone involved. Trust is also a two way street, if one person does not follow through then building the trust in the relationship is impossible.

You might be wondering why the topic of trust is on my mind this evening, and I will share that it is because with my middle daughter we have reached a turning point in out trust building with her birthfamily. Tonight I sort of did something that... more

Jimmy Carter may be envious: One week after Russian President Vladimir Putin took complaints about inflation on a televised town hall-style show, Russia's top food companies agreed to a government plan to freeze prices. The store tab for bread, eggs, vegetable oil and sugar will be frozen through the end of January, along with the price of some cheese and milk products .The Kremlin called the producers' agreement voluntary, but some economists criticized the move as a return to Soviet policies. Then again, price freezes weren't... more

“All is not lost,” says an article in the July Science Daily that reports that through functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, scientists at the Stanford University School of Medicine and Lucile Packard Children's Hospital were able to see significant differences between the brains of children suffering from PTSD and those who have not. This gives me hope on a day I’m feeling rather hopeless after visiting a still raging and volatile LuLu. To know that they’re making progress on what I consider... more

Since Nancy and Sunbonnet Sue got me too humming this tune, it made me realize how lucky I am! I’ve got to tell you that in many ways I’m busier now than when LuLu is home with me. My phone seems to be jingling 24/7. Super Dad was a bit baffled by why I haven’t told more people that LuLu is in the hospital (not announced on the church-wide prayer list for example). But it’s simply because the more people who know, the more people who’ll call.

I love talking... more

Last night a friend and I went to Uno’s Pizzeria, mowed down a ‘Shroom pizza and then attended a Symphony Pops concert where the featured performers were four guys impersonating the Beatles. The crowd was almost all Baby Boomers or older. The Boomers were itchin’ to get rockin’ in the aisles, but we refrained. The show was called the Classical Mystery Tour and my friend Amy and I had a great time. (Sunbonnet Sue, see her... more