As the old adage goes, “hindsight is always 20/20.” I should have taken the time to sit down with the kids and talk to them about our second post-adoptive placement visit. But, because the social worker wanted to meet with me alone, and thus I knew I wouldn’t be taking the kids, I guess I thought it was a moot point and why introduce the topic, eh?

Boy, was I ever wrong!

Later on that day, hubby told me that right after I left, the kids began their usual flurry of questions that often occur after one or the other of us has to leave. So, their dad explained to them that I was going to visit with... more

At a certain point after the adoption is finalized, not every waking moment is consumed with a hyphenated thought – you know: post-adoption, adoption-related, birth-mother…In other words, life begins to take on a “normal” timbre – whatever “normal” is. Your children are just that – yours – and you begin mentally dropping those “adopted child,” “biological child” labels. Not that those labels meant you loved your child(ren) any more or less – but for a certain period of time, you had to make a mental shift – an adjustment in thinking. With a spouse, there was a period of courtship, where the idea of marriage and spending a life together germinated for awhile, typically speaking. With a biological... more

An interesting dilemma that parents of special kids face is if or when it’s the “right time” to do certain medical procedures. Depending on your child’s challenges, you may have some very valid reasons for not pursuing a medical procedure that most parents would have their child undergo.

Right now, braces are the medical procedure we’re opting out of. LuLu’s teeth are incredibly crooked. In fact, she may not have enough space for all of them to come in. However, we’re opting to wait at this time, because we can’t imagine adding one more source of... more

Foster Parents Dealing With Children Living in Limbo

Foster Parents Helping Children Living in Limbo

I fostered a little boy (five years old) for a little over a year he was mentally retarded and autistic. In your mind, picture the worst child and his behaviors, then magnify that times five that is probably close to what he was like.

He had so many issues... more

Adoption can mean so many things to different people. It also brings a lot of different emotions out in people. It is very personal to me because it is the foundation of my being. While it does not define who I am, it is a part of me. Adoption to me is life. It was the greatest gift that I have ever received. My birth mother gave me the opportunity of a future she could not provide for me at that point in her life.

I was blessed to be adopted with my sister and grow up together. Adoption provided me a normal childhood with all the experiences to go along with it too.... more

This post is continuing on with our series of Steps in the Viet Nam Adoption Process.

Most adoptive parents share the sentiment that the wait from referral to travel is the hardest part of the entire adoption process. Now that the I600 petition submission policies have changed and that wait time has been extended, there will be many families trying to positively bide their time when they’re feeling completely impatient and fed up inside.

I wish I had some magic secret that I could share that would make this wait easier, but no such thing exists. If it does, someone really needs to share it with all of us here! What helped me was reminding myself that the wait was a means to... more

Two years ago, as I was completing my second adoption from Russia, there was talk that Russia would soon begin requiring some sort of psychological test to determine parental fitness. Remember that, two years ago, Russian adoptions were being roiled by three high-profile cases of Russian-born children murdered by their American adoptive parents. An independent test of someone's suitability to be a parent didn't seem at all out of place.

Russia still hasn't passed a law mandating a psychological examination. But, speaking at the recent Adoptive Parents Committee conference,... more

I feel like I haven’t written a whole lot about Ella lately, so today’s Love Thursday post is all about my no longer a baby, little girl. She truly seems to have grown up in an instant and I am thrilled to have this sweet little toddler as my partner in crime for the day to day running around that we have to do. At 19 months old she has such a personality and I really love spending every day with her. So forgive me if this sounds like a lot of bragging, but I am so proud of her!

Having our social worker over for our home study update and hearing her praise Ella's development... more

Continuing with my interview with Mike O’Connor, author of Crisis, Pursued by Disaster, Followed Closely by Catastrophe: A Memoir of Life on the Run., my next question was:

How do you relate trust and love? How does lack of trust affect a loving relationship?

For me personally, it would kill it. Some relationships are built on lack of trust. For... more

Usually fueled by my passion to get things done, I run around the house after the kids have gone to school. With five more grandchildren – oops, now 6 of them – living here, my house takes a beating.

I can deal with that and I get a sense of accomplishment plowing through my chores and starting dinner early since I cook from scratch.

But today, first thing in the morning I had to deal with a grown up child of mine, 31, and her two year old son. I absolutely lost my patience in a huge way as she’s let a pile of circumstances force her into immobility. ... more