Coming off the holiday highs can be especially hard for foster children. While they are feeling the same letdowns as the rest of us, and then add all the emotions that come along with foster care, it can be very overwhelming.

Foster children can be feeling a lot of guilt during this time. They are still thinking of their biological family, and during the holidays, probably more so. Some children feel guilty because they know that things are rough back with their biological families and a lot do not have the Christmas like they are experiencing in foster care.... more

I talked about when foster children struggle with biological parents being unable to experience the holidays with them during my last post. Truthfully this is something that will pop up from time to time and does not have to be during the holidays.

When you take your foster children to the park for a picnic, or any other family outing, the feelings about wishing their biological parents could also experience this, can surface. Most foster children in time have talked about this to different degrees while in my home.

The common thread with most if... more

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I thought it would be a fun way to wrap up the year on the transracial adoption blog by highlighting my twelve favorite posts from 2007. By the end of tomorrow, I will have written 514 posts on this blog this year. It takes a lot of time and a lot of work, but I learn a great deal and I really do enjoy it. I hope you do too.

Here are my posts numbers eight through twelve in my "Top 12" posts of 2007 countdown.

#12 - Large Transracial... more

One of the most challenging things about bringing home toddlers and preschoolers is that every second of your time seems to have been suddenly sucked into a black hole. Toddlers and preschoolers are energetic, inquisitive, and mobile. They make things happen. And woe to you if you're not watching them while they're making things happen. To stay safe, they need to play within the hearing and sight of the parents. The challenge is to keep an eye on kids and still find time to fold the laundry and fill the dishwasher. If the kids DVD's at your house are getting worn out, you may be ready to try an idea adapted from Montessori preschools.

“Play stations” are independent... more

My kids know that tomorrow is our anniversary. They aren’t exactly sure what an anniversary is, so I explained it’s like a birthday for the day Daddy and I got married. Yeah, as of tomorrow, Daddy and I will have had eighteen of those “birthdays”!

From reading this blog, you may have figured out by now that hubby and I are very traditional in our values, but pretty unconventional as far as just about everything else goes. That includes anniversaries, too. Many of our friends are “confuzzled” when they learn that we’ve taken our oldest son on most of our anniversary... more

Every day of this Christmas break I have planned to: a. write a holiday letter; b. have LuLu do just a little bit of school work; and c. catch up on a work project I put off until this week. Well, the week is technically over and the only one of these things that has gotten done is a couple hours of geometry that Kay did with LuLu yesterday.

Mostly, I’m concerned that our holiday letter won’t get written. Last year I actually got the picture taken, letter written and cards all mailed before Christmas. This year…zippo. I had planned on us taking a picture... more

One of my readers pointed out that men can be awesome primary caregivers. Yes, indeed! It gave me a chuckle to read that after I had just returned from a funeral over which our new (female) pastor presided. She, along with one of our former pastors, conducted the service, and she sang because her voice is definitely outstanding.

I was both amused and felt a bit uncomfortable as the elder pastor (who had not met our new pastor until yesterday) and others who spoke referred to her as a “pretty thing” and other comments that could be construed as very politically... more

I have a secret that I only just tonight shared with my husband. There’s a part of me that wishes we would find ourselves faced with the opportunity to live in Viet Nam for an extended period of time. There is something about leaving behind all of this American life and experiencing Viet Nam from a different level that is incredibly appealing. Honestly, this is shocking to me. I’m a homebody, I love my friends and family and don’t like to go long without seeing them, yet I have a secret desire to live on the other side of the world!

Some American adoptive families who... more

I am not a liar and I do not appreciate being made to look like one. I based my decision to allow my daughter to attend an after Christmas party on lies. However, at the time I made the decision I did not know they were lies. I found out the night before the party that she had lied and it was too late for her to call them. Therefore, I decided to take her to the party and let her explain in person why she was unable to stay. I asked her to preplan what she was going to say and then I let her practice on me. I told her not to worry about messing up because I would be... more

So what would I plan to say meeting potential adoptive parents in person? How ‘honest’ could I be without sounding somehow anti-adoption? That is certainly something I think about.

The first thing I might do would be to ask how many of them planned on adopting a ‘healthy’ newborn with no issues. Once most of them raised a hand I might be very blunt and ask them to all please leave and forget about adopting.

I know, sounds awful of me. In all honesty though I now know all too well that any child who is placed for adoption,... more