It certainly seems like such a long time has passed since my husband and I adopted our first child! We have come a long way from being that same young couple in need of honest adoption related information, and we have learned more than a few things about the realities of adoption.

More than once over the years I have found myself wishing that I could go back (the better informed me of today) and take the young me by the hand and tell her the brutal, honest truth. I would now have so much to say about the emotions, grief, loss inherent... more

I try not to think about our nearly five-year-old daughter having to move. The tears and the heartbreak will be real for her and our family. I was reminded about our own impending tragedy today when I read a blog about a Child waiting for a decision by Kelly over at the Foster Adoption blog. Her blog is about a boy who has dwarfism and is available for adoption. The system is trying to figure out who should adopt him. Should it be the foster family where he has lived for the past two... more

Even though the Christmas holidays are stressful and emotional, I still love them. Ever since I was a child, Christmas has always been my favorite holiday and even still now that I am dealing with the emotions that go along with being a birthmother at the holidays, I still enjoy Christmas.

But as I grow older each year after the holidays, I find myself depressed, down, and blue. There is typically so much anticipation, excitement, and emotion involved in Christmas and then it’s pretty much all over in one day. Plus, as birthmothers we are dealing with the emotions... more

My cousin Trina and her kids left this morning, and I have spent the last four hours putting away Christmas decorations. I just ironed a huge new tablecloth for my dining room table, only to decide it didn’t match the wallpaper, so I put it back in the original wrapper and will return it next week. What an exercise in futility.

Trina and I spent much of yesterday sewing and cutting out fleece patterns to make clothing for the girls and me. I told her I would sew today, but haven’t gotten to it yet. She calls me periodically as she is driving home, and inquires if I am sewing... more

Continuing from Part One of Birth Families Finding Us, one daughter immediately went for comfort food; pinto beans and nachos in our case, the younger children kept running into the room to make sure their older siblings have survived this trauma.

Sad to say, it is traumatic and grossly unfair on every level.

This charming young lady was denied the right to live with her four birth siblings, not meeting them until her late twenties. She lives several states away so she still won’t be able to see them as much as I know she’d like to.

She told me she felt guilty upon learning... more

If my experiences are any kind of common, then the answer is likely a big yes. Particularly now with the internet making connections so easy, sleuthing is a breeze.

This afternoon we had a birth sister, now 28, come into the lives of four of my children who are now 23, 26, 29 and 30. They’ve been my children for nearly eighteen years. Once they were four very frightened, disoriented children fresh from an adoption disruption meeting me in 1990 and moving a thousand miles east of their home then in Brownsville, Texas.

This beautiful young lady found my grown children... more

Ha Long Bay (which means Bay of the Descending Dragon in Vietnamese,) is a popular day trip for adoptive families staying in Hanoi. Located in the Quang Ninh province on the Vietnamese coast of the South China Sea, the area is made up of fishing villages where the locals live in floating houses. It is comprised of over a thousand islands and inlets, many of which are uninhabited, lending to their overwhelming beauty. The limestone pillars in the seascape are said to be breathtaking.

The journey to Ha Long Bay starts with a car or bus ride to the site where you will board... more

While there were some great things going on in adoption both personally and in the outside world, 2007 also brought about some not-so-good things. I hesitated in making a list of the stuff that stuck out in my mind that didn't fall under the category of "good," but then went ahead and made it anyway. While I know that there will always be bad things in any subject of discussion, I'm hoping that the following list of things doesn't make it on next year's "not-so-good" list. Hopefully this is... more

There are times when I am quick on my feet and fully able to answer someone’s questions about adoption with answers that leave both the questioner and I satisfied. There are other times that I’m left feeling unsettled about the exchange and I wish I would have answered differently, phrased something in another way or offered information that I hadn’t thought to at the time. At a holiday gathering last week I was faced with a situation that fell somewhere in the middle of those two scenarios, but ultimately came out on the positive end.

While chatting with a family friend,... more

In case you haven't noticed, there's a presidential election coming up in the United States. Many voters have litmus tests by which to judge the candidates. Mine is healthcare reform. But if, as someone who has adopted from Russia or is preparing to adopt from that country, your measuring stick is a candidate's policy on Russia, The Washington Post has a piece that might interest you. (Only two candidates have so far come out with positions on adoption, former New York... more