On this day that our final decree is granted, I’m wondering: What do you call the day you adopted your children? I have mixed feelings about many of the choices I’ve seen. I don’t mean to hurt or put down any of the fine families I’ve seen use these terms, but here’s a summary of the issues I have:

Family Day: Were you not a family before you adopted? Thus, this really isn’t the day you became a family. “Bigger Family Day” maybe...but that just doesn’t have a catchy ring to it, does it?

Gotcha Day: True, it’s the day we “got” our, but I “get” things every... more

Nancy Clark, MFT, has written a series of books in fairy tale form for children who have experience trauma, grief, and loss.

So far in the series are: A Tale of Anger and Fear; A Tale of Loss and Impossible Dreams; and A Tale of Lies and Love.

Each of the books comes with a parent guide written by Dr. B. Bryan Post. From all I have been able to gather, the books are being used with children as young as nine. My background may not be in therapy, but it is in child development, and I think the books are far too dark.

Yes, terrible and unspeakable things happen to children. Yes, not every parent who... more

Another major issue with drug abuse and other addictions being such a huge part of foster care is the time factor. Beating a drug addiction is not as easy or something that happens overnight. To overcome an addiction takes a huge commitment, hard work, and possibly a large amount of time for the biological parents.

Below is a quote from an article here:

Doctors used to say withdrawal took 12 to 18 months, but now, note that withdrawal might take 10 years or... more

Well, the first month in the new year has come and gone! The start of the New Year reminded me that 2008 lies before us like the unwritten pages of a book. Kind of exciting to think about it that way, that the slate is clean and we can try and mold the year into whatever we want it to be like. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to try and write letters to Charlie each month (January is done and in the mail!) so I shared some tips on how... more

Continuing with my series on my recent interview with Andrew Bridge and my discussion of his about-to-be-released book, Hope’s Boy, I asked Andrew about one quote from his book that leapt off the page at me …

With only a bit more from Mrs. Leonard (his foster mom), I might have claimed her as my own. I might have surrendered Hope entirely.

(Hope is the name of Andrew's birthmother.) Andrew spent ten years in a foster home where he was always “the outsider”. He... more

We have a wonderful family therapist that comes to our house thereby helping to reduce my children’s inbred fear of professionals. So many social workers have marched through their lives that they are hesitant to trust anymore and also tired of talking about their past.

Their past made them what they are today – children deeply in need of therapy as is evidenced by their behaviors.

Today Dr. Mandy told me of a recent study she’d read explaining that children are behaving worse now than years ago and subsequently therapists are not lasting as long in this profession... more

Feel like watching TV tonight? Well, I’ve decided that tuning into the new ABC drama, Eli Stone is going to be worth the watch. Why? Because it’s in the center of the autism controversy.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has called for ABC to cancel the first episode of this series because the story involves the main character, a prophetic attorney, representing a mother and her son with autism against a vaccine manufacturer (and winning) for the mercury placed in the vaccine that “caused” the boy’s autism.

The AAP believes that airing this show will increase the number of parents who decide not to... more

Six months ago today – right around right now, in fact! – we were sitting in a courtroom five states away, joy barely contained! As we sat in chambers with the judge who signed our interlocutory decree of adoption, she talked to us about the enormity of the undertaking we were seeking her to grant.

After talking to us, and to the children, she signed the interlocutory decree. An interlocutory decree is:

A decree of adoption granted by the Court,... more

One of the main things with our kids is that they need to feel safe. This is something that Hannah and her previous family said often. When she moved into our home, we told her on a regular basis that it was our job to keep her safe.

I actually started this with Hannah when she first came here as a “respite kid.” She was within my line of sight at all times, I put an alarm on her bedroom door to let her know if anyone entered her room, and I did not fall into her games.

A feeling of safety is one of the ways that you can tell a child is attaching... more

If you have adopted a sibling group, you may need to find ways to stretch your food dollars. Buying prepared packaged foods becomes cost prohibitive when you are feeding a family with more than four members. Eating at restaurants becomes less frequent as well. To stretch your food dollars you will need to begin preparing more of your food from scratch. I am not talking about the time consuming jobs of preparing a loaf of bread or homemade cold cereal, they are still quite reasonable to purchase.

However, you can prepare delicious meals that your family will love using... more