When I was going through the home study process, my social worker told me to read several books about adoption. One of these books talked about birthdays being a sad time for adopted children. According to the author, for children placed for adoption as a newborn, a child's birthday is also the day that his birthmother "abandoned" him. The author said to keep an eye out for bad behavior around a child's birthday because this could indicate that a child is struggling with adoption issues. The child might... more

Growing up, I struggled with depression and poor self-image. I had chronically low self-esteem. Yet, I was in the Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program at just about every school I attended,. I was called a beauty. I was a cheerleader; captain of my debate team as well as president of the French Club. But, I hated myself. Self-loathing that I cannot adequately put into words.

True, I had mental health conditions such as depression and ADD (though at the time, undiagnosed). But it wasn’t until I became a Christian, that I could see my worth. And, even now, I still struggle with self-esteem, but I know I can read God’s Word and know that He felt I was worth sending His Son to... more

One adoption related issue that I still struggle with is forgiveness. Not so much forgiveness of what others did or did not do, because I have been able to deal with those feelings and issues and have come to term with them. Forgiving other people wasn’t always easy but it is something that I have been able to work through. Where I struggle in terms of forgiveness though, is with forgiving myself.

What do I have to forgive myself for you might be wondering? Well, I deal with guilty feelings often about a variety of issues surrounding the adoption. I feel guilty... more

"I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.” (John 17:14-17).

Though I do not currently have teens living in my home, I have had them in the past. Maybe because of our affinity for this age group, they seek us out - I don’t know. Whatever the case may be, I had an opportunity tonight to help a foster child attend a Bible study at a neighboring congregation.

The topic dealt with raising... more

Why is it Taking So Long for a Placement?

I know of foster parents that have chosen to wait for a young girl under the age of 5 years old, white, no siblings, no real issues to speak of, no developmentally delays, etc. Understand that when you choose a certain gender and a small window of age range, this can limit your possibilities greatly. A large majority of foster children coming into care come from a sibling group which will also impact your placements.... more

This is a question that I hear from time to time. It is always confusing to the foster parents waiting for a placement when everything you hear is about how desperate foster parents are needed. One of the biggest reasons of the delayed foster placements is when foster parents limit the types of foster children that they are willing to parent.

While I do understand only taking children that you feel that you are capable, or willing to parent, on the other side, seeking preconceived traits or desires is only going to work against you. Trying to be honest... more

I wish I knew of a location that had accurate information about the number of adoptions that begin as open arrangements, and later end up being closed. I am sure this happens all too often. Online in the forums I hear about many frustrated birthparents who have had their child’s open adoption closed on them, so many with out warning, or even a valid reason. I also hear many adoptive parents who have had birthparents drop out of their lives after what had seemed like a close relationship, often many years in the making. No matter who is doing the closing, birth or adoptive... more

I love the idea that a local birthmother shared with me about the scrapbook she and her daughter’s adoptive mother are building together. While many birthmothers or adoptive mothers create scrapbooks or lifebooks for their children individually, this process is unique and has created a way for the two mothers of this one little girl to bond.

Monica* and her daughter’s adoptive mother, Kristy*, are creating their daughter’s (Jenifer) scrapbook/lifebook together. Monica and Kristy didn’t have a whole lot of time to get to know one another before Jenifer* was born as Monica... more

Parents with Guatemalan born children are often confronted with skin problems that they are unfamiliar with. I’ve blogged about this in the past, but I’m a little more knowledgeable now that Ella and I have paid several visits to the dermatologist.

If your child has white patches on their skin, chances are they have pityriasis alba, a form of eczema. It initially presents as a patch of raised bumps, often quite small in diameter that eventually becomes red and rash like. After the rash disappears, the pigment in the skin also disappears and what is left is a white spot.

There... more

I’ve certainly been angry before but I’ve never raged. I didn’t even know that people raged until I’d lived with ragers. The phenomenon is shocking; it’s a full blown temper tantrum with kicking, screaming, punching and hitting for hours at a time.

My first rager was barely three years old. Non-verbal due to a mild case of cerebral palsy, very developmentally delayed, he’d get... more