Traumatized children can display some challenging behaviors for their adoptive parents and caregivers. These behaviors frequently tend to isolate these adopted children from the rest of the family or group. Giving them time out or sending them to their bedrooms can isolate them even more. Our therapist has been recommending time in for these traumatized adopted children. Time in, can help them connect with the parent or caregiver. Being in close proximity to a significant adult can help a traumatized child regulate his or herself.

Instead of sending the child off to a corner... more

In my initial post on parental love and pride, I mentioned my daughter’s choral recital. That recital was a charitable recital, held in the atrium of the Famous Hospital to the North of Us. Saturday night was the full on evening recital for family, friends and the public.

Though her younger brother has had a cold, my daughter valiantly held off on getting it, up until the last song or two of the concert Saturday night. You could see her eyes were a little glassy and she was really tired,... more

After my post on Parental Love and Pride, a reader wrote to me and, though not the main point of her note, expressed a sentiment I think many parents can relate to – and really the flip side of Parental Love and Pride – Parental Guilt!

Oh man, do I relate! There are days when I feel like the most terrible mom ever! Days where the kids are restless; or I’ve not slept well. Days where it seems the chores are endless and we’ve still got homeschool to do, or somewhere to go, or something else that needs attention!

We've... more

Many states allow for you to serve the non-custodial parent with the petition for termination of parental rights and the petition for adoption yourself, instead of paying for the service to be done for you. It can cost several hundred dollars to have someone served with court documents, so many families often find themselves wondering if they should pay, or just do it themselves.

The first thing to consider is safety. If you have any reason whatsoever to believe that the non-custodial parent could become enraged, violent, or otherwise dangerous in any way shape or form, then it is best to advise the professionals of the potential danger, and then let them handle it. They are used... more

Finding a doctor willing to provide care for your foster children can be a challenge. A lot of doctors do not take Medicaid so this limits your choices, or they only have a certain number of Medicaid patients they see. If you have a doctor that your children or your family sees check with them to see if they would be willing to see your foster children even if they say they are closed to new Medicaid patients. My foster children were taken as my children since my doctor had been seeing my daughter for a few years.

When we moved last year there was not a... more

Susana Luarca’s latest blog has caused panic in the Guatemalan adoption community. According to her, the new registration process with the Central Authority is just not taking place.

In my last blog, I reported that registration was underway, and a friend reported to me that her agency confirmed that her daughter’s case had been registered with the new Central Authority.

However, according to Susana, who is usually pretty accurate, the registration forms are being changed weekly, the Central Authority adding more required information all the time. The latest requirement for the forms is a photo of the... more

OK, I'm going to confess to a bit of cultural prejudice today. If I were going to be stranded on a deserted island and I could take along my three favorite desserts, they would all be French. So it's probably no surprise that my favorite Russian dessert is one that was created by a French pastry chef.

The dessert is Charlotte Russe, and it was whipped up by Marie-Antoine Carême for Russia's Tsar Alexander I in the early 1800s. Wikipedia, citing a 2004 feature on Carême by National Public Radio, calls Carême the "first celebrity chef". That's... more

I kind of snapped today, a small implosion where I physically made an attempt to remove myself from my grown kid’s dramas. I know that this is part and parcel of the adoption of older children; that they tend to constantly recreate the chaos and confusion that they’ve always found comfort in during their early lives. It was all they knew. A peaceful lifestyle and a quiet coexistence alarms them, happiness confuses them and they think, on some level that they don’t deserve a good life and all too often do all they can to sabotage their own success.

Now... more

It comes in spurts. What does? Everything. As a birth parent, I've learned that all of my emotions come in spurts. From anger to happiness to sadness to growth, each group of things seems to come together in little groups. I've seen other birth parents say similar things so I'm thinking it may not be a singular reaction. But, for the purposes of this blog, I'll speak singularly about my experience.

When I look at the calendar year, I can pretty much predict how I will be feeling about the adoption and our relationships at any given time. Her birthday, as... more

There is a very interesting law suit in Hillsborough County, Florida. A foster care agency is the subject a class action law suit on the behalf of foster children.

In some ways I think this is a fabulous law suit. Maybe it will bring some issues to the fore front and get the public, as well as legislators and judges to pay attention to what happens in foster care.

The lawsuit is in regards to the quality of care kids receive as well as the length of time that kids remain in care. The length of time has always been a hot button for me. Having had kids in my house... more