I spent the weekend reading Andrew Bridge’s book, Hope’s Boy, while hanging out in the crash area at Beth’s 3-day swim meet. (She had a great meet, by the way!) I will be blogging my review of Andrew’s book later this week, and I will hopefully include excerpts from my phone conversation with him, scheduled for a couple of days from now. It’s a great book and raised some interesting questions for me. I am anxious to hear Andrew’s responses.

Flooding my inbox from various listserves and newsletters that I regularly... more

Many times I have heard birthmothers say that they were worried about their ability to parent and their parenting skills. They wondered if they could be a good mother and some may let these fears get in the way of parenting. Of course, these are all legitimate concerns and some women may deal with these concerns and think about before even getting pregnant, but if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy these thoughts may be coming up more frequently and you have to deal with them now as you decide whether you should parent or make an adoption plan.

When I ended up... more

I have had this question come up several times in the last few weeks.

Mostly people want to know how much they should say, what they should disclose, etc. My answer is – everything!

The reality is, with background checks, criminal finger printing, and various other reports and checks that the agency runs, they’re going to find out anyway, so be up front. If it appears that you are trying to hide something it could go badly for you.

I am very open about the fact that we have been through an ... more

Is your adopted child suffering from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)? IBS sufferers have chronic abdominal discomfort with cramping, bloating or gas, diarrhea, or constipation. The cause is unclear and there isn’t a test doctors can perform to diagnose it. Therefore, according to the Mayo clinic doctors use the Rome criteria to diagnose IBS. There are test to rule out more severe conditions that also have these symptoms, however with IBS the bowel appears normal. New research has found a connection between people with allergies and sufferers with irritable bowel syndrome.

Adoptive parents of... more

Adopting two or more related children is the definition of adopting a sibling group. It is possible to adopt sibling groups privately by an arrangement with the birth family or internationally. However, the following information refers only to adopting children who are state and court wards. These children have become available for adoption because the rights of their parents have been terminated. The juvenile division of the probate court has terminated the rights of the parents and committed the children to the state (state wards) or placed the children under the care and supervision... more

A reader e-mailed me and asked if I would share more about my personal story with our home study. I am working through a series about each of the interviews we had as part of the home study process.

One of our interviews centered on our parenting philosophy. I really did not have one other than that I did not plan to spank my child and that I wanted to do things differently from the way my parents raised me. That wasn't a whole lot to go on.

I knew that my sister used time outs with her son, so I talked about using time outs. I also said that I liked "creative... more

Last week, I shared about medicating my son for his Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). My son has acted like a perpetual four- or five-year-old for years even though he is now seven years old. Because his behavior was like a younger child's behavior, I modified my parenting accordingly.

Now that my son is medicated, it is as if he matured two years overnight. Suddenly, he is doing things that he could not do before. He is also processing things... more

Does your child have dyslexia? How do you know? Dyslexia is defined as:

a neurologically-based, often inherited, disorder which interferes with the acquisition and processing of language. Varying in degrees of severity, it is manifested by difficulties in receptive and expressive language, including phonological processing, in reading, writing, spelling, handwriting, and sometimes in arithmetic. Dyslexia is not the result of lack of motivation, sensory impairment, inadequate instructional or environmental opportunities, or other limiting conditions,... more

Reader xxsurroundedbyxy has asked what you can do when you have no support. I will share my ideas about finding help with foster children when family or friends are not an option. Please, share your thoughts, ideas or experiences below to help out other foster parents.

Some foster parents do not have family or friends willing to help out with foster children for any number of reasons. This can make things rough for you and add to your stress level.... more

What to do when you do not have the built-in support system with your decision to do foster care? First, every state and agency will have their own laws and guidelines to meet, so check with both before doing anything.

The reality is that it was your decision to become a foster parent and not that of your family or friends. When foster children are placed into the mix of things it can stress others out. Some people have an image or a distorted idea of foster children being juvenile delinquents, etc. that you may have to overcome.

Respite... more