Today is a rather quirky holiday in Russia, called Tatiana's Day. Though it does fall on the name day of Saint Tatiana, an early Christian martyr, it is not in the traditional sense a name or a saint's day holiday, which I've written about before. And it's not in honor of the in-country rep who helped me with my first adoption in Vladivostok, in 1999--though some sort of lasting recognition for that would certainly be in order.

A clue to the day's reason for being is pretty plain when you... more

My “nice” posts get little if any response yet my grittier reports of problems and challenges all seem to ring true in all y’all’s families as well.

I’ve recently read several studies and descriptions on children who’ve disrupted from their placements as well as equally scary behaviors and characteristics in children waiting for families.

An adoption recruiter in one state told me that most of the waiting older children now have some horrifying diagnoses, almost sociopathic in nature. There seems to be an overload of physically aggressive behaviors and anti-social... more

There is a lot of controversy over giving foster children medication.

When Sammy came he was way over medicated because the dose just kept getting increased when his behaviors got worse. Never mind the fact that he was living between two houses, was having to leave his biological brother, and was told he was being adopted by some people he didn't know. We were able to cut the meds by 2/3. Over the years we have changed his medication as his body has changed, and as his behaviors have changed. We have never found a magic mix of medications that has been able... more

Putting out a minimum of posts lately is not due to any lack of ideas or material. Living with my children gives me enough to write about for decades to come, and then I’ll write about everything else that I never had time to blog.

In sixth grade I clearly remember a teacher threatening my friends and I with, “If y’all don’t stop talking I’ll have you write 500 page essays!”

I recall then thinking something along the lines of, “Have at it Miss Turner, I could write 1000 words before you even cross the classroom.” Verbosity is not a problem. Fortunately I didn’t... more

This is something that every foster parent needs to manage the stress and challenges that comes along with being a foster parent. When I first started fostering, I did not realize how important and what a necessity this is. While most of us have the family members and friends that are our normal daily life support system, we also need this with being a foster parent.

This means that your daily support system will need to understand some basics of foster children and be open about children that may have issues or behaviors. Truthfully not every family member... more

This week a Senate panel in New Jersey finally unanimously approved a bill (S611) that will allow adult adoptess to get their original birth certificates which are currently sealed by law. This bill will allow adult adoptees or the adoptive parents of a child to petition the state registrar for a copy of the original birth certificate which contains the names of the adoptee’s biological parents.

Open record advocates have spent close to thirty years lobbying for this bill, so it has been a long time coming. They recruited rap star, Daryl McDaniels, who is known to most as DMC from the group Run DMC to help them get this passed.

Daryl McDaniels is an adoptee who didn’t learn... more

This week, I have been writing about medicating my adopted child for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and the emotions that this process has evoked in me. I want to end this series on a positive note.

Yes, dealing with my son's special needs has been hard, but he is much more than a walking special need. He is a great kid. He is smart, funny, warm, loving, forgiving, and incredibly funny. The child is almost always positive and in a good mood.

My... more

I read the title of this post on a forum thread, looked at the user name and thought to myself, "Yes you did. What are you talking about?" So, curiously, I clicked into the thread and began reading. Like the original author, my own wheels of thought began to turn. And yes, it's time to play the semantics game again! I know you're excited!

There are many things said about the action of relinquishment. I personally do not ever use "gave up my... more

Fully prepared to be infuriated by yet another attack on Guatemalan adoptions, I was surprised to find that Dateline NBC did a fairly decent piece on the problems that existed in the now defunct adoption system in Guatemala.

Yes, they highlighted the bad and ugly. The facilitator by the name Thanasis is what I consider the scum of the earth; a person whose greed for money overrides any moral and ethical behavior on his part. The children, such as Angie and her two sisters who were victims of his plots, are physically and/or emotionally scarred for life, and their parents left to grieve for children they had no intention of giving up for adoption. The prospective adopting parents... more

In my last post, I discussed breastfeeding and listed some of the benefits of breastfeeding, but you may be wondering if you can breastfeed even though you are making an adoption plan.

The answer is yes! Some adoption agencies and other adoption professionals may tell you that you can not breastfeed, but you can. They may want you not to breastfeed for the simple reason that breastfeeding a baby gives you a chance to bond on such an intimate level that... more