As I mentioned in a blog yesterday, a reader asked me for some advice on encouraging her soon to be adopted daughter, to dress appropriately. Her question really had three parts so I decided it might be best to split them up. Yesterday, I covered adopted daughters wearing dirty clothes again. The second part of the reader’s question was about her daughter wearing clothes too tight. I tried to deal with this by appealing to logic for my first few years of foster and adoptive parenting. All that led to was arguing and one of us getting angry. I decided to make this a non-issue at... more

A recent study out of Michigan is painting a pretty grim picture, and really it’s not that surprising. For children who leave foster care without having been adopted, life is more than difficult. The statistics show that the children, now young adults:

• Are twice are likely to be unable to pay their rent.

• Are three times more likely to be unemployed or not in school.

• Fewer than half had bank accounts.

• Jail time was served by... more

In my last post,I wrote about taking your time making the decision of whether you will parent your child or place your child for adoption. So, while you are taking your time making this decision, what should you be doing?

First of all, take care of yourself. Sometimes when you are stressed, taking care of yourself becomes lower on the “things to do” list. Try to make taking care of yourself a priority. Go... more

Recently I received a question from a reader about her soon to be adopted daughter’s inappropriate clothing choices. If you have parented older children from the foster care system or adopted from an orphanage then you have probably dealt with these issues as well. It may help you, to help your child, if you understand where these habits originated. We were a little surprised and disgusted when we realized what was happening at our house. Our first sibling group, a teenager, and her younger sister helped to train us when we were new foster and adoptive parents. The teenager would... more

I’ve watched a few episodes of The Biggest Loser, but I haven’t been a loyal or dedicated watcher. I struggle with weight loss issues myself so some of the things have gotten my interest, but this one really has.

One of the contestants from Season 2 is a former foster child, and that life is partly what lead to his weight gain.

Pete Thomas started the show at 401 pounds, but that was not his heaviest weight. He “maxed out” at 416. He lost 185 pounds on the show. That is a miraculous loss, especially if you have ever tried losing a few pounds.

Pete’s... more

Say, that you are an adoptive family. A teenager approaches you for advice. She is barely in high school and confides that she just found out that she is four months pregnant from the school nurse. She has told no one else, doesn’t know who else to ask, and is desperate for advice. What would you tell this teenager? After all, you are an adoptive family with a current homestudy. Would you try to convince her to place with you? Would you give her all of her possible options, including adoption, but not mention your family’s status? Would you mention that... more

New research indicates there is a relationship between mitochondrial disease and autism. Although at this point, researchers are not sure if mitochondrial disease plays a role in the development of autism, or if the muscle weakness in a child with autism points to a genetic defect that causes mitochondrial disease. Mitochondrial disease results in muscles not getting the energy they need. This is because the mitochondria convert energy... more

I still have weddings on the brain! In the last two posts, I have written about my son’s adoptive family being involved in our wedding and both his adoptive mom and sister were in our wedding party. As I stated in one of those posts, asking my son’s adoptive family to participate in our wedding and to be there, felt only natural to me however, I did worry about how other people would react.

At that point in time, Charlie was about one and a half years old. My parents... more

Everyone who has read a lick of what I write knows that I support ethical adoptions and the reforms that are taking place to ensure that adoptions are being handled ethically. And so, I perked up when I saw this article. Oklahoma has won approval to review their adoption laws which apparently haven't been reviewed since 1994. How much has changed in 14 years?

Of course, my hopes were quickly dashed. Why do I get excited? Why do I bother with... more

The children in the Texas polygamy case have been moved to a sports arena. This is one way to keep the children together, which at this point is important for their feeling of safety and security.

Up until today, the mothers of the children had been allowed to stay with them. As of today, mothers may only stay with children five or under. There are both pros and cons to this situation.

On the pro side, these children are scared. They are in a culture completely different from anything they have ever encountered before. Allowing the children to... more