There are special clinics that a parent can take an adopted or foster child to for a Fetal Alcohol evaluation. It takes at least all day and sometimes more than one day for a complete evaluation. This very thorough investigation may include brain images as well as physical and developmental evaluations. The results should conclude whether your child was subjected to alcohol exposure during those critical forming months in the uterus. Many people who have adopted older children have... more

Are you feeling pressure to place your baby for adoption? I’m referring to pressure placed up on you either from family and friends or pressure do to your situation and circumstances. Perhaps, you are feeling pressure do to your finances. You’re working a dead end job, you can barely make the rent. Sound familiar? Believe me; some people who plan to get pregnant may not be much more financially stable than you are. Check out what resources your state offers for mothers in need. Check into housing and other government programs. By doing this, you could find... more

While reading the book, “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach, the devotion if you will, for July 24 screamed at me.

It talks about something called Privacy Deprivation Syndrome. I had never heard of this before, so I kept reading. The symptoms listed are:

• Increasing resentment • Mood swings • Chronic fatigue • Depression

Sound like anyone you know? It... more

One night, while going through the library, the title of a book caught my attention. “What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day.”

The first thought that came to mind was about friend, and former blogger, Julie. I’ve known Julie for about four years now, and what would like crazy to most people is an ordinary day for Julie. Her issues with LuLu are just plain out there. I admire her as a mom and as a person. I’ve spent time with LuLu and I know how tiring parenting her can be. Most of us don’t deal with... more

While I've had many more positive blogging experiences, the negative ones stick out in my memory like a sore, throbbing thumb. It's the truth about life, isn't it? We remember those negative experiences with clarity while those that are positive or neutral tend to fade into the background. I don't tend to dwell anymore, though I used to, but I thought I'd share a few to show that I'm not exempt from negative experiences as a blogging birth parent.

Truth be told, the constant... more

Our kids were raised in chaos. Family meals and good nutrition are generally not a way of life when you live in an abusive or neglectful home.

Family meals are more than just eating together. They are a time to share the day’s events, establish unity and teach your children the importance of nutrition and healthy eating habits.

This is something that I consider a must for our family. There are days when it is not possible. If you’re running to ballet lessons, little league practice, music lessons or whatever extracurricular activities you and your... more

Struggling with controlling impulses seems to be a common problem among traumatized children. It doesn’t seem to matter whether that trauma was in utero from drug or alcohol exposure, or inflicted during early life. Our adopted children, with a trauma history, FAS, or RAD, seem to all have struggles with impulse control. Sometimes, it seems like the behavior was intentional.

I have often asked my 11-year-old recently adopted daughter if she thought... more

Blogging is an interesting way to work towards healing. However, one negative aspect is that your words, at any given time, are out there for you and the public to read. If someone reads out of order or only one post, they don't get the whole picture (as I talked about yesterday). One more important thing that people tend to forget when reading, which equates to a big old negative mark for blogging as a birth parent, is that healing is not a linear function.

While there are five stages of grief, I've not yet met one person who went through them, in a timely... more

Not too long ago, I came across an article about a proposed bill in Missouri. This new bill makes it illegal for a pregnant woman to be coerced into having an abortion. Per the new bill coercion could be “physical harm, or a threat to evict, fire from a job, or withhold financial assistance.

While I think this is great – no one should be forced into doing something she isn’t comfortable with – I couldn’t help but think why aren’t... more

Yesterday Hannah and my respite kid, J, were playing and Hannah came to tell me what they were playing. It was quite interesting. She said they were taking care of baby foxes and wolves. Whenever someone didn’t want the foxes and wolves anymore, they would take them and adopt them and then take care of them.

I love that she feels adoption is natural and completely acceptable way to build a family, even if her family was little animals. We have not really had any discussions about how she feels about adoption, but I think I have an answer.

I don’t... more