On my last day writing about the positives of blogging as a birth parent, I am going to talk about one of the most important aspects: fostering change. Healing is very important. Learning is vitally important. But change is needed and being able to spearhead and foster that change is a great feeling!

Whether you've had a good experience with your relinquishment or an awful one, chances are that you realize that certain things need to be changed. Whether you agree with the majority of birth parents regarding the fact that adoptees have a right to their Original... more

Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you. (Proverbs 23:25)

In this day and age, respect and manners have fallen by the wayside in pursuit of higher academic standards and materialism. We emphasize athletic ability and good grades, and reward such with more “stuff.” What about basic common courtesies?

My oldest son has been involved with robotics competitions for the past three years or so. For the last year, these classes have been held in my home. The most recent semester has been... more

I am writing this post in a light-hearted manner mainly because, while positive, the rest of the week has been kind of deep and introspective. I thought this would be a great time to delve into one of the lesser known, more-upbeat positive points of blogging as a birth parent. (Especially seeing as how I'm going back to deep and introspective tomorrow!)

But it's true, folks. Freebies exist for bloggers and adoption bloggers are no exception to the rule. While getting freebies shouldn't be your sole reason for blogging, it's just an added perk.

Examples... more

A couple of weeks ago the sermon at our church service was on yokes and support and while I listened to my pastor talk, I couldn’t help but think about all the foster and adoptive parents that I know.

I know this isn’t the Christian blog, but bear with me a minute and it will all make sense. The passage the our pastor was talking about came from Matthew 11:28-30.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for... more

Rules intended to protect children in foster care may drive away foster homes. I understand the logic behind the new rules. Various states have taken a beating for not protecting the children in their care. Children in foster care homes have died or been abused and the public is outraged. The public should be outraged; I am not minimizing the consequences. However, you don’t see the outraged public stepping up to take foster children into their homes. That is the problem; there are too few foster homes for the children who need them. Most of these outraged citizens wouldn’t... more

Blogging about adoption as a birth parent can start a dialogue between you and those who are reading. In fact, that's often the point of blogging in general: to start a dialogue. The real benefit for birth parents is when people whom you are close to are reading.

Examples include your spouse, your own parents, your child's adoptive parents or your adult child. Before you freak out and say, "I don't want some of those people reading what I write," I'm going to challenge you with the question of, "Why?"

I understand that we all need safe places to... more

Recently, I blogged about the fact that my oldest has been asking to do more things independently online. One of my suggestions was to educate your child about your internet usage rules, but that advice can be expanded to apply to any "sensitive topic."

That said, here are some tips for handling “difficult conversations”:

• Pray: Ask that God give you wisdom, courage and that your child will have an open and receptive heart.

•... more

Many older children who enter the U.S. foster care system have sleep issues. Sleeping issues include trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, night terrors, and bedwetting to name a few. It shouldn’t be surprising that they have sleep issues considering the trauma they have experienced. Many children who have suffered sexual abuse were awakened in their beds from sleep to be raped by a trusted adult. Who knows how long sleep anxiety may last after that type of experience. For those who did not suffer that type of abuse you can still understand their unease.

They... more

As I continue talking about the pros of blogging as a birth parent, I find it necessary to talk about the healing aspects of blogging and writing next. I could save it for last, as I do find it to be one of the most important reasons behind blogging, but I just want my readers to know and understand this benefit.

The act of writing, whether publicly or privately, can be a catalyst in one's healing. I found an amazing quote as to why that is (meaning, I'm not just making this stuff up!) on... more

I have recently (as in last week) been diagnosed with a serious eye condition that will probably eventually require me to have a cornea transplant in my left eye.

Although no one in my family has this condition (at least that my parents and I are aware of) it can often be genetic. Therefore, as a birthmom in an open adoption it’s my responsibility to call A and let her know about this new diagnosis so she can have Charlie checked for it. While it’s not life threatening and treatment as a child is actually less invasive than treatment as an adult, it is still a phone... more