In a recent post, I blogged about my surprise that my daughter’s IQ continues to increase despite the fact that she has FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.) A reader wrote an interesting comment about her child who is diagnosed with inattentive ADD. She said that their family psychiatrist told them to expect their child’s IQ to increase after she had been on medication for a while. While I had never heard this before it really could help to explain my daughter’s... more

In a recent post, I talked about some negative comments that a friend made. In a comment on that same post, Jenna made me think about how there are times that you may realize that you no longer want to continue a friendship with someone who is unsupportive.

It’s sad but not everyone in your life is going to be supportive or understand your thoughts and feelings related to adoption. Sometimes it won’t be an issue or it might not bother... more

I think almost any blogger would agree, birth parent or otherwise, that the number one reason that blogging can be a positive experience is the learning tied into blogging. Let me tell you, I have learned so much in my many years as a blogger. Even more awesome is the fact that I am learning on a daily basis in many different ways.

Here are a few ways that you can learn as a blogging birth parent.

1. You will learn about yourself.... more

To start off my series on blogging as a birth parent, I'm going to spend an entire week looking at the "pros" that come with the territory. (You may be forward thinking enough to guess that I'll hit on the negatives next week.) I thought I'd start off this week with a brief "positive message" to get everyone in the right frame of mind.

Blogging is what you make of it. You also get out of it what you put into it.

There's a lot of meaning in those... more

Now that my oldest is 10, he is exploring his independence more and more. One example is his request to do more things online.

As a Christian parent, I feel I have a few obligations:

To “bring my children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).”

To ensure their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and safety: Beyond providing the basics (food, drink, clothing and shelter), this means also teaching them about things that could hurt them and creating bonds of love that will allow them to feel safe, nurtured and... more

When people who do not regularly come over, are coming to your home it can make you feel apprehensive about what they will think. Especially when they show up unannounced and your house looks like a tornado just went through. If you have children, people should expect to see toys on the floor. They also expect to see that the house is lived in and the inhabitants have fun. An experienced social worker would probably be suspicious to find your home immaculate if young children live in it already. It can make you seem fake, and may cause the social worker to wonder what else... more

If you're reading this post, you probably know about blogs. Of course, you could have happened upon this post by accident or Google search for a birth parent related topic and so I will throw a definition of "blog" out there so that we're all on the same page. From the Wiktionary:

A personal or corporate website in the form of an online journal, with new entries appearing in sequence as they are written, especially as dealing with reflections or opinion, and typically incorporating links to other... more

In my previous blog, I shared the rules that my friend, Elaine, established for her family. An equally important document is one that she wrote and is starts “To Be A Smith Is To Believe………..” and contains the following statements:

I am responsible for MY own actions. No one makes me do what I do.

If my work is poorly done, it is MY responsibility to improve.

If I misbehave, it is MY responsibility to correct my behavior.

It is time for me to stop blaming others for the way I act and start taking responsibility for my... more

Sucking the air outI would like to address a comment made on a blog that I wrote on July 2, 2008 entitled “Place Older Adopted Children With Stay at Home Parent.” In that blog, I stated that older adopted children typically come to their new family with abandonment issues. I realize there are many other issues involved, but I am addressing just abandonment for now. In the summary of the article I stated, “Try to find a way to spend those first... more

Yesterday I helped to transition our respite “daughter” into a new home that may have the chance of being a permanent placement for her. I had intended to have this young woman until the end of summer, but a joint decision was made to move her to my friend, Elaine’s house, where she may stay and where they can determine if she is a good fit in their home.

We spent the morning at the zoo. When we returned home we sat down with Dana and some of Elaine’s kids and went through the Smith family rules. Elaine had e-mailed me the list of rules before hand and I... more