Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be different from the happy scenes portrayed in movies and on television. For me, my partner did not greet me with long stem roses upon his return. My parents did not jump for joy. And if a soundtrack had been playing, as if we were on television, I'm sure it would have been a sad lament or even something with a more ominous tone. It really wasn't the best of circumstances.

For me, I didn't even recognize that my period was late. I have a very irregular cycle. I always have and I still do. In fact, I... more

So, you've been matched. You're anxiously awaiting the phone call that lets you know the expectant mother with whom you have been matched is in labor. What do you do in the meantime?

Get to know the expectant mother!

I urge you, emphatically, to do this as fully as you can. If distance allows, spend time together. If you live too far apart for frequent visits (or any visits at all), spend time sending email or talking on the phone. Ask questions that you want to know. Ask questions that you think your child might want to know. Ask questions about the decision to place. Ask questions that have nothing to do with the decision to place.

Act as if you are getting to know... more

The weather is (finally) warm! Children will soon be out of school. Free time is just waiting to be eaten up by trips, vacations and, if you're involved in an open adoption, hopefully a visit or two. Planning a visit can sometimes be daunting. However, don't forget to use the weather to your advantage. Get outside this summer for a visit.

1. Visit the zoo! Watching the joy on your child's face as he/she views the animals will be a memory to last a lifetime. If neither family lives near a big city zoo, consider visiting a petting zoo or a local farm. Animals... more

I realize that I spend most of my writing time on black/white transracial adoption. Obviously this is the type of adoption my family has. I'm trying to expand my topics though and will focus on Asian transcultural adoptions with this post.

When looking for some rescources for Asian transracial adoptions I found many children's books, articles and even a magizine for girls adopted from China. A quick search on Amazon.com with the words asian adoption will bring you up quite a bit to look over. Adoption.com is a great place to start gathering information if you are wanting to adopt an Asian... more

I have been thinking on writing about organization, routines and rules for older kids for a while now. To be honest, it is something I struggle with and do not feel like I am qualified to write about it. I do want parents to be as prepared as possible though and hopefully you can glean some insight from my mistakes.

Of course, my experience is with international older child adoption, but I really think that these ideas could easily fit into domestic older child adoption as well. All kids need structure, continuety of care and routine. Their personal past experience and personality... more

I was lucky enough to get an interview with Yumi Heo, author of the wonderful book for children, Ten Days and Nine Nights. The book itself, reviewed last month on our site, is a beautifully drawn, beautifully told story written for the child already at home as the parents prepare to adopt a child. While this story was written specifically... more

I'm a big Nathan Fillion fan (Firefly, Serenity, Waitress), so I'm also a big fan of his new show, Castle. Briefly, Fillion plays a best-selling novelist (Rick Castle) who is shadowing an NYC police detective as she investigates homicides. Naturally, they always get their man (or woman) and there is plenty of witty banter.

The most recent episode wasn't about a murder - it was a kidnapping. The Detective reads the facts of the case: Parents married ten years, one daughter,... more

Protecting your rights as a father is very important. If your girlfriend, wife or partner is considering relinquishment, you need to know your rights. Immediately. Possibly yesterday. One of important thing to know about in order to protect your rights in some states is called a birth or putative father registry. States are beginning to enact these to help adoptions go more smoothly. They claim that they also help fathers, however, their lack of advertisement can cause fathers to lose their rights before they knew they had any.

Let’s start with defining... more

I often worry about the lack of diversity in our area. In my four year old's preschool class there are no "brown" kids, just "peach". Of course she lives with two brown sisters and we frequent places of diversity and our home is full of mementos from different cultures as well as our books and movies.

I was very happy to see the topic of the week last week was "Multicultural Colors". They had a person in to talk about Chinese culture. They ate with chop-sticks and learned about Chinese dancing. Elle was so excited that she wore her Chinese dress we bought her in Chinatown... more

Jack has known that he's brown for well over a year now. His pre-school is about 50% white, 50% everything else. Brown kids are well represented. With the exception of President Barack Obama, we don't generally make a big deal over who's brown or white or whatever.

Today, Jack was discussing a pretend party.

Jack: You can come to my party. And John-Samuel. And Nadia. And Karina. And...

Me: Anyone else?

Jack: (thinking)

Me: Marisa?

Jack: Yes! And Marisa.

Me: And Anika?

Jack: NO! Anika can't come to my party.

Me:... more