When you are doing your home study for the first time it can be very stressful because you don’t know what to expect. Most of us spend more time worrying about how clean our house is (I sure did) than making sure we have everything we need.

If you want to speed up your home study process, having all your documents together when your worker arrives will help to expedite the process, and may even answer many of the typical first visit questions, and allow you to get onto the “meatier” questions earlier on, therefore saving you another visit.

So what... more

Earlier this week I blogged about a radio interview that I was going to do this morning. The schedule ran a little late, but I did it and I’m glad I did.

This interview was part of a three day fundraiser for child abuse prevention. Abuse survivors are interviewed about their stories and how it affects their lives now. I talked primarily about my sexual abuse, some of the abuse my kids have been through, and what I am doing to make changes now, namely my work with ... more

Keeping it light-hearted again today, don't forget to share your favorites with your relinquished child. Perhaps you're thinking, "But that's trivial and mundane! They need the big stuff! The meaty stuff!" Well, true. They do need the big stuff, the meaty stuff. But they also need to know you. And your favorites are part of you.

And so it is important to share such information with your child.

What kind of favorites? All of them, of course!

Color. Number. Day of the week. Month. Season. Song, band/singer. Food. Sport. Drink. Candy! Ice Cream... more

Since I talked about Dr. Phil in my previous blog, I’ll continue with TV shows and my observations.

My husband and I regularly watch a show called “The Closer” on TNT. We are both interested in crime shows and how the criminals get caught. The show on Monday night had an interesting story line with adoption as a main component.

The show started with a missing 13 year old boy. The first few minutes of the show had me guessing at the remaining story line in ways that the average viewer would not have even... more

I used to be a regular viewer of Dr. Phil’s show. After watching several bad episodes on attachment disorder and adoption I could not stand to watch it anymore. Somehow I got sucked into yesterday’s show. The topic interested me so I tuned it. “Tired of Being a Mom.”

Somehow, I knew that there would be an adoptive parent or the parent of a child with RAD on the show. I wasn’t wrong. The first family Dr. Phil profiled has a 10 year old daughter that was adopted... more

While sharing medical information is important in that life-altering way, sharing information regarding your childhood is equally important. Whether your childhood was storybook or horror flick, that information can be vastly interesting to your relinquished child.

No point is too small to share. Maybe you spent summer afternoons under a tree reading while everyone else was doing something far more physical. Maybe your child would like to know that because they felt silly for always being the bookworm. Maybe you have fabulous memories of summer camp to pass... more

I had a honeymoon 19 years ago. I went to California with my new husband, we visited Los Angeles and went up to Santa Maria to see my 6 month old god daughter. This is not the type of honeymoon we experience with our kids.

Many kids “honeymoon” when they enter a new placement. They want the new parents to think the child is well behaved so they put on their best behavior and show what they think the parents want to see.

Figuring out whether or not your child will honeymoon or for how long is about like guessing the winning lottery numbers. We... more

With so much attention being paid to childhood obesity the opposite end of the spectrum that many foster and adoptive parents deal with receives little, if any, attention.

Some of the children coming into care can have eating disorders. Yes, there are the teen issues of anorexia and bulimia, and there are the overweight kids, but I’m talking more about some of our kids under the age of 10 that have serious eating disorders or issues.

Many of our kids have been neglected and have food... more

Whether you're preparing the information for the future or getting it ready because your adult child has asked, getting your medical history information in line for your relinquished child is of vast importance. I cannot stress how important it is so let me just repeat: it is of vast importance. Even if you're not sure you're ever going to reunite or you have been told that your child does not want to reunite, you need to get this information together.

Everyone always talks about getting that medical history in order but what should you include? Everything,... more

If you’re anything like me, you’re ready for your child to go back to school. Hannah didn’t want school to end and is ready to go back now, but it’s still a different schedule than what we have had the past couple of months. Actually, our summer has had very little schedule at all since it has been very hectic.

Your summer may have been like ours, or it may have been days of kids sleeping late, playing all day, and no school work. Quickly switching schedules can be about like going from 0 – 60 MPH in about three seconds and then coming to a dead stop.... more