A Theory of Relativity by Jacquelyn Mitchard is an adoption book in a different way. First of all is that it is a work of fiction, but based on a true story.

The plot line of the book is that a couple dies in a car accident and leave behind a little girl. A will had been written naming the baby’s uncle (Gordon) as the guardian of the baby (Keefer). After the death another lawyer comes forward and says that the baby’s parents were changing the... more

While not all birth mothers will experience postpartum depression, its a rarity to find a birth mother who did not experience some form of grief and loss. It varies from birth mother to birth mother, of course. The intensity of the first months are hard for some while others find difficulty in coping many years later. For those who are experiencing tough times in the immediate aftermath of relinquishment, it can be hard to determine what exactly is going on. That's why it is important to arm yourself with this information prior to delivery.

Grief has a... more

When you adopt an older special needs child things don’t always go as wonderfully as you might have imagined before adopting or fostering. Before adopting or fostering an older child, you may daydream about cooking, playing, and just spending time together. You make hundreds of plans that you cannot wait to fulfill with your new child. Then your traumatized child arrives home. Your child is resistant to bonding because of past hurts and abuse. Your child tries to sabotage the placement rather than risk being rejected again. You find family heirlooms broken, feces painted... more

We are preparing for tears to be shed on Saturday. Some tears of joy, but many tears of sadness. Hannah has to deal with issues that many siblings of foster children deal with; Saying good-bye.

For Hannah, this good-bye is hard because these are her biological brothers. There were plenty of tears when she when one of our respite kids left. She grew quickly attached to this young woman, but has dealt with the departure better since the young woman only moved twenty minutes away from us. She still gets “visits” with her, and will spend the night with the... more

I'm in the middle of a short series on birth mothers and the possibility of postpartum depression. I talked about Baby Blues a few days ago and how those mood swings are to be expected for every mother who has just given birth. However, if those symptoms last longer than a few weeks and/or are more severe, the mother needs to consider the reality of postpartum depression.

Something... more

The day has finally arrived. You’ve gotten a referral, you have accepted the referral and have been approved as the family for your new child. Excitement and panic mix together. You’re going to have a new child, or possibly sibling group, in your home. Now what?

Do you have everything you need for a child? Many people wonder if it’s appropriate to have a shower for your new child entering your home. My personal answer, yes. We had a shower for Sammy and it was wonderful. My family gave us a shower and the employees that my husband works with gave us... more

Whether you have decided to homeschool your special needs child, utilize public, or private school, you will still need to teach your child. Special needs children require much more practice and reminders to learn than “normal” children do. They take more time to complete their work. They need more assistance than other children do. What that means to the parent is, homework help all evening, every evening. Sometimes it means your child will cry with frustration. You will still be teaching your special needs child long after other children have begun to run their... more

I read True Mom Confessions on a semi-regular basis. I'll spend days visiting the site repeatedly and then won't visit it for a few weeks. It can be overwhelming to read the emotion behind some of these confessions which is why I do it in small spurts. However, a confession today really caught my eye.

I look at my stepdaughter and think of the daughter i gave up for adoption, and feel like [expletive].

Wow.... more

Hannah’s brothers are joining us for a week while their parents do a wonderful thing. They run a week long camp called Royal Family Kids Camp.

RFKC is a special camp only for abused kids. The most amazing thing to me is that the kids attend the camp FREE OF CHARGE! That’s right, foster kids finally get to do something fun that doesn’t cost their foster parents a fortune. The people putting on the camp must do all the... more

Many people underestimate kids and exactly how much they understand. Live with a traumatized child for a little while and you will change your tune.

Our kids understand so much and have incredible internal clocks that signal changes or significant dates to them. Many times we may not know or understand what the dates are for them.

The first few years that Sammy was in our family, we celebrated his move in date with our family. It didn’t take long for us to figure out that this was a bad decision. Sammy’s behavior began to escalate around that time, even... more