A program is raising some eyebrows and questions with how they are "preventing" teen girls from having unplanned pregnancies. In short, they get paid to not get pregnant. No, really. The program is a slightly more complex than that, though not much.

Girls in the program attend 90-minute meetings every week at which they receive lessons in abstinence and the use of contraceptives — and they receive $7 every week they do not get pregnant. The money is deposited into a fund that's collectible... more

I'm a musical theatre geek. I have thousands of showtunes in my iTunes library. One of these shows is Avenue Q, which, despite the fact that it includes puppets, is not suitable for children. Or some adults. One of the uncomfortable-because-it's-true songs is titled "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist". One of the verses proclaims:

Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone... more

It’s summer time which for a lot of people equals vacation and traveling time. When I’m on vacation, as a birthmother, my thoughts often drift off to Charlie. If we are doing something neat I’ll wonder if he has ever done that before or would he like it. I try not to think these thoughts too much as I like to enjoy my vacation. However, I still think about him.

Below are a few ideas of things I do to “include” my birth son in our vacation.

Mail him a post card. I try to buy a cool post card somewhere that we are visiting... more

Earlier this month I discussed the three main things you can/should learn and question in the aftermath of a failed match. Now I want to bring up some smaller issues that you might consider or you might be forced to consider if a pre-placement match with an expectant mother considering relinquishment falls through the cracks.

1. Are your expectations reasonable?

Which expectations am I referring to? Well, all of them, of course! Do you... more

Most home studies require you to provide character references, or letters of reference. We had to have six, from specific types of people:

Immediate member of wife's family Immediate member of husband's family Relative from husband's or wife's extended family Friend of husband Friend of wife Neighbor or friend

Some social workers or agencies may ask for references from your pastor or someone who attends church with you. It's possible that you might be asked to provide a reference from your manager... more

With movies like Juno and television shows The Secret Life of the American Teenager throwing pregnant teens at us left and right, I was pleased to see a movie like Away We Go. Why? It shows us something important, something that those arguing about how every unplanned pregnancy should result in adoption seem to forget. Adults get pregnant, too. Unexpectedly and unplanned, adults find themselves facing a pregnancy. And, shock of all shocks, it can happen to people who are in committed long-term relationships.

Who knew?

More... more

Heather at Production, Not Reproduction, posted the topic for the second Open Adoption Blog Roundtable:

Write about the father(s) in your family's open adoption(s).

My husband was never sure about the kid thing. I really think that, at first, he only wanted kids - or one kid - to carry on his family's name. My husband, who on this blog is referred to as Most Valuable Player of 1979 Keith Hernandez because that's the kind of... more

I refused to watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager on ABC Family for the first two seasons. I really had no desire to sit through a long, drawn out storyline as to whether or not a teen girl who got pregnant would place the baby for adoption. Every time I saw someone mention the show online, the word adoption followed shortly behind. My head kind of exploded. Was a television show geared at teens going to make the decision to place look easy? Or downplay the grief and loss associated with relinquishment? Or ruin the process like every other movie or television show has done in the past?

Turns... more

If you have recently placed your child for adoption, you are likely dealing with the emotional fallout of that decision. While you felt sure of your decision at one point, you might be asking questions of yourself, of God, of the Universe and of those also involved in the decision making process. You may be angry, sad, depressed or generally confused. You may be struggling with finding a meaning to all of this, wondering where your silver lining is among the heavy clouds.

I will be the first to tell you that the silver lining is not always obvious and, sometimes even then, not for years and years.

We often don't understand why we are allowed to endure such things while we... more

Days like Father's Day (and Mother's Day) are days of reflection for a large number of the population. If we're not parents of some sort, we're at least a daughter or a son, somehow brought into this world and raised in some fashion or another. While some have had good experiences, others have not. That truth goes both for being raised and parenting. Hard stuff, either way!

I hopped onto Post Secret today knowing that the secrets shared would most likely be about fathers and parenthood in some way or another. I was right (as I usually am, of course). I... more