Many of the blogs I write are quite “heavy” because, after all, life in foster care is not a fun subject. Most of the kids don’t get to laugh often and as parents of foster kids, we don’t always get to laugh either.

Lately, Hannah has been cracking me up. Some things are just plain funny, and other are a six year old not quite understanding the other world yet. I thought I’d share some of these with you and hopefully add a little bit of levity to an otherwise hard subject.

One day Hannah and I were running errands and she was wearing her “fancy” shoes,... more

As if the constant talk of adoption isn't bad enough, blogging birth parents need to beware the trolls. I recently talked about personal attacks via blog comments but it needs mentioned again in this series.

Trolls exist on the internet. They thrive on drama, confrontation and the anonymity that the internet provides. Many of these rude individuals would never say the things that... more

There are chatty kids, there are kids who talk incessantly, there are kids who ask really dumb questions, and there are kids who are a combination.

Kids talk for all sorts of different reasons. Some kids are just socially outgoing, which is my Hannah. Other kids are scared and talk to avoid memories or to avoid thinking about things. This is my Sammy. Still other kids talk to be sure that they are noticed or that they exist. This is my respite kid, J. J is a relatively good kid and is extremely mild on the attachment spectrum. In fact, many of his behaviors... more

Most states have limits on the number of children under the age of 18 who can live in one special needs adoptive home. For example, Massachusetts won’t allow more than six children, and in Michigan, the number is eight. That is eight children total under 18 years, regardless if they are birth, adopted, or foster care children. Of course, there are those adoptive families who are allowed a variance for exceptional reasons. One reason might be to allow a large sibling group to stay together in one home. However, for the most part the states try to adhere to limits. Why do most... more

Recently I was having a conversation with an adult adoptee, E. We were discussing the fact that some people can not see to grasp the fact that a child (grown or not) can love more than one mother or father. She was explaining to me how many of her extended family members were shocked when she began to search for her birth mother. They didn’t understand that it is possible for her to love both her birthmother and her adoptive mother. She wondered aloud if her adoption had been open (instead of closed as that was the era she was born in) if her extended family would have been... more

While I spent a whole week talking about the pros of blogging as a birth parent, the truth remains that nothing is all positive. Blogging, in general, has some negative things attached to it and when you throw in the birth parent slant, some other topic specific issues are thrown into the mix.

When I think about the cons of blogging as a birth parent, one sits in the front of my mind: the constant talk of adoption. That doesn't initially seem like a bad thing. After all, for many birth parents, the adoption of their child was a big event, possibly... more

Do your adopted children seem to go a little nuts whenever you are not around? Maybe you are just running to the grocery store, or out to dinner with Super Dad. The children know you will be back soon, you always are. Yet, each time you leave the house, they hover at the door and behave badly for the sitter. While your children are at school all day, you get phone calls from teachers and principals. Your child has hit or spit on another student or a teacher. Another day your child has stolen property, runaway, been caught skipping class, committed forgery or has pooped... more

Over the weekend we were camping at a campground that I camped at many times when I was a kid. Friday night I was sitting outside by the campfire by myself toasting marshmallows. Yes, I am almost 40 years old, but I still love it.

While I was out there, I had a flood of memories come back about all the times that we had camped there before. I remembered how the mom of one of my friends would toast her marshmallows charred black on the outside and raw on the inside. We camped in big groups of ten or fifteen families at a time, and I remembered how we... more

As I mentioned in a previous post, it is good to stay indoors whenever possible during the hot summers while pregnant but there may be times during the summer in which you have to be outdoors or in which you just want to be outdoors. As a pregnant woman out in the sun, there are a few things you should remember.

Drink lots of water. It’s easy to get hydrated when you are outdoors for extended periods of time so be sure to drink plenty of water. Don’t forget the sunscreen! Pregnancy can do weird things to the body and even if you are not normally the type of... more

I hope you have enjoyed the past five days of posts regarding the pros of blogging as a birth parent. I have enjoyed thinking of some of the many positive aspects of blogging about adoption from the perspective of a birth parent. Let me say, point blank, I've only covered five reasons. There are many, many more great reasons to put your voice out there in blog format.

In my experience, blogging about adoption has been overwhelmingly positive. Yes, I've had some negative experiences and I'll talk about those next week. But, for the most part, I have had... more