In a week we will be leaving for Massachusetts to attend the ATN conference. I am excited. This is the third year we have done this conference and it has been wonderful every time.

If you haven’t signed up to attend, why not?

What makes the ATN conference different from other conferences is that it is focused on helping parents who are living with traumatized children. Therapists and social workers can benefit as well, but parents are the ones who benefit the most.

Aside from the sessions,... more

Last Sunday, twenty year old Kelsey Cartwright was crowned Miss Oklahoma. And you’re probably wondering why I am writing about the new Miss Oklahoma on an adoption blog but that is because her platform is open adoption!

In case you don’t know much about pageants, each beauty queen has to choose a platform or a cause and she spends her year long reign promoting and speaking on and about her platform.

Miss Oklahoma has chosen open adoption as her platform for personal reasons. Her father, William Cartwright, is an adoptee of the closed adoption era. When her Father... more

I meant to offer a challenge to my readers yesterday but my future sister-in-law had a bridal shower and my day disappeared. And so, first and foremost, let me wish a Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers reading this blog. Birth Fathers. Adoptive Fathers. Fathers by Birth. Stepfathers. Foster Fathers. Grandfathers. Fathers-to-be. And, simultaneously, a Happy Day to all of those males that have been a Father figure in some child's life.

We're having a grand day over here! The weather is fabulous. And right now? Both boys are napping and my... more

As you know, the Midwest has been ravaged by thunderstorms and flooding for almost two weeks now. It has been a nightmare for all of us, although we have fared better than most.

The things that are precious to me were not affected, or so I thought. A couple of years ago we were trying to sell our house and we packed up things that we did not need and moved them to a shed. Among them were some photos and scrapbooks. I thought they were safe from the storms because they were up high, but the box had tipped over. My heart nearly broke in two when I walked... more

If you have adopted a child, who seems to be delayed in language skills do not delay in seeking treatment. If your child is under the age of three years, early-on services may be available for your child free of charge. Private insurance companies may pay for speech therapy for children between three and five years. Once children reach school age, speech and language services are available free of charge through the local public school district. The school district must provide these services even if your child is not enrolled in public school. However, you will need to... more

I’m sure most of you have heard or read about the tragedy at Little Sioux Scout Ranch in Iowa in which four boy scouts were killed as the result of a sudden tornado. One of those boys killed was thirteen year old Sam Thomsen. While reading an article covering this tragedy, I learned that Sam was adopted. Now normally mentioning that someone who died was adopted would annoy me a tad if it wasn’t imperative to the story, but the way it was done... more

There are genetic abnormalities that typically cause sterility in men. One of these genetic abnormalities is called Klinefelter syndrome, I wrote about the syndrome here. “Does Your Adopted Son Have an Extra X Chromosome?” Feel free to read about the syndrome by following the link before you read this article if you would like. Most men who have an extra X chromosome never know about it and do not develop the syndrome. Those who do develop the syndrome will most likely... more

I’ve been doing an impromptu mini series on the “post visit blues” which is the nickname I have given the sadness and depression a birthmother sometimes feels after a visit. Yesterday, I shared with you ways that I personally try to cope with the post visit blues. So, today, I’ve reached out to my birthmother friends and asked them how they cope.

First of all, L made a really good point. For her the sadness after... more

There is a judge in South Texas that needs a lesson on child rearing, foster parenting, and being a judge.

I know that things in Texas are different. I lived there for seven years. Respecting your elders is an absolute must and not calling an adult “sir” or “ma’am” is simply not acceptable in the eyes of parents. I don’t disagree with that at all. It is a regional thing though. When I taught my kids to use “sir” and “ma’am” I was accused of running a boot camp in my home, but I don’t think teaching children respect is abusive.

However, the judge Cameron County... more

While I've discussed how birth mothers and adoptive parents view Father's Day in varying ways, I saved the most important group for today: the adoptees. Like the other groups, their experiences vary widely! Quite a few individuals replied on the forums and I had a few e-mail me privately, saying that they didn't want to be attacked by others for their views. (Of note, a few birth... more