We went to dinner at a friend's house tonight, and we started talking about mutual friends who are beginning the adoption process. (Although, these friends didn't know, so I hope I didn't just "out" someone.) I told my husband that they're using the same home study agency that we used.

Then our friend asked, "What's a home study?"

I replied: "An agency gives you a ream of paper to fill out, they come and interview you, and basically invade your privacy."

My husband said: "It's like a test to make sure you'll be good parents."

So, what is... more

At the beginning of May, BirthMom Buds hosted our fifth annual get together for birthmothers in Charlotte, North Carolina. Our theme this year was The Road Less Traveled.

We started the morning off with welcomes and introductions. Then we played a neat game called speed friendship that I learned from another blogger. We moved onto our breakout sessions in which the ladies could learn about challenges that come up in every day conversation as... more

I recently read The Help by Kathryn Stockett on the recommendation of a friends, or friends I should say. I immensely enjoyed reading it, even though at times it was painful to read how so many people felt not so long ago about skin color. I know that there are still predjudious people, don't think I'm that naive, but to read about a time when it was the accepted norm that blacks couldn't use the same water fountain as whites is so insane to comprehend.

The book is set in deep south Jackson Mississippi in the 1960's and is told in the perspective of a privileged,... more

I recently gave you some ideas about reaching out to your child's adoptive family when a breach in their contact occurs. The truth remains that, sometimes, adoptive parents choose to cut contact with birth families. Why? For any number of reasons, most of which are rooted in assumption, fear and/or the inability to discern good advice from bad advice. Often they think that they are making the appropriate decision but they go about it in the wrong fashion. Perhaps that, in itself, is a... more

Every year, the Dave Thomas Foundation evaluates the adoption benefits offered by companies throughout the US. Dave Thomas, for those who might not know, was the founder of the Wendy's fast food franchise. He was adopted from foster care, and was passionate about adoption. His foundation ranks the top 100 adoption-friendly workplaces. Companies are rated primarily on the reimbursement amount they offer to adoptive parents. The secondary criteria... more

When bringing a new child into the home our first reaction seems to be - Buy! We want to get nice, new clothes, toys, bedspreads and bath towels with cartoons on them. None of these things are inherently bad, but we must consider what is best for our kids.

Most of our older kids have had very little of their own and may have never had anything brand new at all. Like toddlers it takes time for them to learn how to take care of things. Start small with a couple outfits in the closet, some socks and underwear in the drawers and a doll or Mp3 player depending on the age of your child.... more

I was 13 when I learned that babies didn't just pop out of one's torso, Alien-style. I went to Catholic school, so they were a little light on the details until then. Plus, my sister and I were C-sections, so I just assumed...

I was 13 when the Iron Curtain fell. In Romania, Nicolae Ceauşescu's reign was over. For the first time, Westerners saw the awful orphanages - 600 of them, housing more than 100,000 children, who were kept in cribs, abused, and neglected.

Putting two and two together, I decided I would adopt my children.

When choosing... more

A question was posed of me recently:

Who is and is not appropriate to take along on an open adoption visit?

The question was posed by a birth mother involved in an open adoption with her son (3) and his family. She had recently started dating someone for the first time since placing her son and wondered if and when it was appropriate for him to accompany her on one of their visits. This one kind of stumped me as my husband was involved from a very early point.

I think this topic is something that comes down to boundaries. Who would you want your child to meet if you were parenting him? Would you let them meet every boyfriend or girlfriend that... more

While I was in the process of adopting from Ethiopia, any news about International adoptions or Ethiopia could send shivers down my spine. I was so worried that adoptions would be halted or the process would somehow change. At one time I considered changing countries because of rumors that Ethiopia was considering not approving adoptions unless the Ethiopian child was at least two years younger than the youngest child in the home. As we were adopting out of birth order these rumors made me very scared.

Yesterday I found out that Ethiopia has halted... more

Sometimes in open adoptions one side loses contact with the other. This can be due to many reasons: work, school, and family just to name a few. An arranged break is one thing and can actually help promote a healthy relationship. However, falling off the face of the Earth is another and is an unacceptable move. No matter how hard open adoption is for us, as adults, not keeping continual contact will be even harder on the child. Children need continuity in life, especially in this thing called open adoption. Taking a break without arranging it is unacceptable, open adoption is child–centered not adult–centered.

If an unexpected break in contact has happened to you or because of you,... more