Did you know that the XXY arrangement of chromosomes is the most common genetic abnormality among males? Researchers estimate that one out of every 500 male children may have an extra X chromosome. Are you now wondering if your adopted son might have a genetic defect? Many of these boys will grow to adulthood never suspecting that they have an extra chromosome. Most males with this XXY chromosome arrangement suffer no symptoms and grow to be completely normal adults. The only way one of these men could find out is to undergo genetic testing. Unfortunately,... more

I was sent The English American by Alison Larkin for review, well, many months ago. It has taken me until now to pick it up. Once picked up, I couldn't put it down. Not only is the writing absolutely phenomenal but the subject was so close to my heart that I simply needed to know how it ended.

Not a spoiler because it doesn't end in the way you expect but:... more

This is an interesting discussion on the adoption.com board, and there are some great answers.

The full question is:

Let's assume YOU made the rules, how long would you give biological parents to COMPLETE their case plan goals before you sent the case to TPR?

I know there can be all kinds of extenuating circumstances, but let's assume there are no insurmountable obstacles preventing the bios from completing... more

Yesterday I wrote about how some birth mothers react to the subject of Father's Day when it comes to their relinquished child's biological father. I asked the same question of adoptive parents. Much like in the birth mother group, their answers varied widely. I expect no less as adoption is such a unique... more

In my last post, I talked about “the post visit blues,” the nickname I have given to the overwhelming feelings of sadness that some birthmothers may experience after a visit with their child. I generally feel sadness and “let down” after a visit but this particular time it’s more intense and lasting longer than usual. Since I have been dealing with this for six years now, I have come up with some methods of coping that work for me.

1. Acknowledge the feelings. It’s important that... more

I almost could not believe my ears as I listened to the story. My own daughter sat there in disbelief as I continued to ask pointed questions about how she succeeded. Her story is similar to my own daughter’s story because they share birthparents. She is the older sister, and they lived in the same home until shortly after my daughter turned three. Like my daughter, she has struggled over the years with lying, stealing, cutting, and destroying property that was not hers. Her lying was worse than my daughter’s lying, because at 15 she began making terrible accusations about... more

This afternoon I was taking a break after mowing the several acres that is our yard. I was flipping through channels and landed on a show on Discovery Health Network called “Adoption Stories.” Obviously this caught my attention.

This is the first episode I have seen, so my opinions are based on this episode alone.

The episode focused on one family. This is the description listed on the Discovery Health Network website.

The Wengrenowitz's... more

I asked readers to e-mail me and forum members to reply with their experiences of being a birth mother and the emotions and actions surrounding their child's biological father and Father's Day. I got some great responses of varied experience. For this I am glad! We need more voices, more stories being told so that others might catch a glimpse.

A group that I accidentally and largely neglected to address in my previous post spoke up in large number: birth mothers who married their child's biological father. To be fair, I may have subconsciously left them... more

My two sons are very different in a couple of profound ways: 1) they are not related biologically, and 2) they were born 4.5 years apart. Beyond that, they have uncanny similarities:

Appearance: When we first began the adoption journey, the social worker sent us pictures of the children who would eventually become our son and daughter. The day the e-mail came, my husband was at work, but my oldest son and I sat at the computer as the picture downloaded and began to fill our computer screen. I was floored! The children looked so much like our family,... more

How many times have you heard a foster parent complain about their children’s foster care worker? If your state’s foster care system is anything like ours, then probably too often, unfortunately. It has been our experience during 14 years of foster parenting that foster care workers do not stay at their job for very many years. Many are young, fresh out of college, without children of their own, when they start. They are full of ideas about changing the system or making a difference. They are confident in the parenting techniques they have learned at college and expect you to follow.... more