Have you ever noticed that some children have very tired eyes? I have and I always wonder what is going on in their lives that makes those little eyes so very sad and worn. I am a people watcher- it is my curse. I watch young people, older folks and kids- all of the time. I thrive on detail and enjoy gathering the ‘intel’ that comes with simply observing those around me. Freaks you out a little, huh? No, I am not currently watching you!
Really though, I have noticed that many foster children have the most void look on their faces and through their eyes. I am not certain if it is a direct result of the trauma of disruption that they have experienced or they are not having their needs met currently. I know many people who foster children. It makes sense given that there are many children in foster care in my county- the largest population for my state. Some of the kids look carefree and healthy. Others faces are drawn and their eyes tell of their fatigue.
I work very hard to keep the fatigue of life from catching up with my children. I delight in bringing a smile to their face. I also enjoy dressing them nicely. This is coming from the Goodwill and garage sale queen- so don’t think that I am a snob. I have just noticed that many times foster children look like…well, foster children. They are often underdressed or dressed in older clothes (that look their age.) It breaks my heart when I can look at a child and be able to tell that they are a foster child. I choose to go a different route with my family. I think that it is important that society sees that these children are not a money-making tool. Of course, they are not.; the pay is not good enough but foster care has gotten that rap. I wonder if the obvious lack of cherishing of these children is part of the reason that others judge the foster parent so harshly.
Foster parenting is a big job. It takes diligence, perseverance and patience to a whole new level. Yet, I think that there is value in committing to making sure that the foster children under your roof are valid members of society. It is important that they feel as though they fit in. A large part of this for children is looking like others. I love when I walk upon a family that has children and cannot tell the foster children from the others. It does my heart good.
The children under your roof will thank you for the time and effort that you put into making them look and feel as though they were normal. It is worth it.
~Angie
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