The other news that I have this morning is that my friends have returned from Uganda with their baby/toddler. Things turned out differently then they had anticipated but they are home. I am not at liberty to tell all of their experience but I can say that they have their child and love him very much. The great thing about hearing this is that we know that cases are being processed out of Uganda. If you are waiting, take heart in that information.

African adoption is sometimes difficult because there is little regulation. When conditions are so hard and regulations not in place, fraud and mishandling can occur. This is what has slowed down and stopped so many of the adoption programs in this area. In this regard, Malawi continues to be under a shut down due to a judicial strike. The governmental officials of this area have released a statement regarding the shut down stating that no one should travel to Malawi until an absolute court date is given to them

I you are interested in adoption from Africa, research all venues carefully. Almost every program from this area has been touched by fraud or paper mishandling in the last few years. This has caused a drop in the number of adoptions that are being processed greatly. Africa is aware of the situation and is working to rectify it but this takes time, effort and money- none of which are plentiful. There are many blogs, groups and books that can keep you updated about the current status of all areas of adoption in Africa. This would be worth your time and effort so that you are fully aware of all circumstances.

African countries are not party to the Hague Convention and do not hold to its statutes.

~Angie
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I have done some research on the state of the adoption program in Ethiopia and have found that once again there has been no change. This is such a heartbreak to many of the people who desire to find their child from this country. Things are simply not moving along quickly. I wish I wasn’t the bearer of bad news at every turn but unfortunately until Ethiopia can regain legal organization, this is how it will be.

I noticed that I had a comment on my last post about people moving from the program. I have heard that people are leaving the Ethiopia program and choosing to go another route to complete their adoption. They have found that their dossier is not moving at all and know that it could be many years before Ethiopia regains its footing and is able to process cases at their original rate. For those of you who are just joining us, Ethiopia has cut the number of cases handled by 90% to cut down on the large number of fraud cases that were reportedly occurring. Some have estimated that this could delay the many cases that are waiting by up to 7 years. I can surely understand why a delay of this magnitude would cause people to lose hope and chose to go another venue.

Having said all of that, I want to encourage those of you who have a heart for adoption from Ethiopia to hang in there. The need is so very great. The children in this country are innocent of all that is happening and continue to need the stability that adoption brings. I know that it is disheartening to hear about the delays but continue to focus on the children. There is precious little that has as much importance as the life of a child.

It is reported that the children that come from this area adapt well to being adopted. They react well to the geographical change and have good dispositions. There is a great amount of poverty and illness in this country. The children who are available for adoption have been touched by both of these human tragedies. I will continue to monitor the adoption situation from this country.

Ethiopia is open for adoption but has reduced their daily adoption processing by 90% since 2011. Ethiopia is not party to the Hague Convention.

~Angie
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This notice has brought about another change to adoption in Korea by giving adopted children the same status as their biological siblings. This is a big move for the country of Korea because adoption has often been viewed as non-binding in this form. This will motivate the Korean people to consider adoption with more commitment.

Another part of this new law places legal requirements on prospective adoptive parents. This will ensure the safety of the children as the program develops in country. Criminal checks, parent education and counseling will be required in order for prospective parents to be considered. This is a major step in making sure that the program has some regulation in order to ensure that it has a chance to gain footing.

Korea has been a long intercountry adoption partner of the United States but is looking to phase out their need for intercountry adoption. I am not certain when the entire adoption program will shift to its new venue. If you are interested in adopting from Korea-now is the time. I believe that some agencies are still accepting new applicants. For the time being, this portion of Korea’s adoption program remains open. There are many children in Korea that are available for adoption. They are housed in clean, well run orphanages- many staffed with doctors and other healthcare professionals.

Korea is not party to the Hague Convention and does not hold to its statutes. It has released statements regarding the phasing out of its intercountry adoption program and is beginning that by August of 2012.

~Angie
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It states: The Ministry of Education and Science, the Central Authority of Kazakhstan, has confirmed that the governmental decree approving its new policies to process intercountry adoptions and accredit adoption agencies in Kazakhstan goes into effect on Thursday, April 5, 2012.

The Government of Kazakhstan will begin accepting applications for accreditation from potential adoption service providers on April 9, 2012, on a first-come, first-served basis. Information on the new accreditation process and the new adoption procedures will be available on the Central Authority’s website shortly.

This is such good news for this adoption program. Keep in mind that this approval is only ‘one-sided.’ Every prospective adoptive country must work out a legal structure and requirements that are acceptable to both parties and needed changes must be made before the country can re-open their adoption relationship. This often takes a large amount of time to complete and can cause many people to lose hope.

The upcoming re-opening is anticipated by many. If you are waiting for this country to re-open its adoption program- this is a step in the right direction. It has been such a long time in the making and should be celebrated. When Kazakhstan re-opens its program, there will be many children available for adoption. The system will have more organization and the regulations will protect the prospective adoptive parent as well as the child. This is always a good thing and should allow for growth in this program.

I will keep you updated as information surfaces. There will be a lot of changes coming about in this adoption program and hopefully the next notice will give us the good news of the re-opening. Until then, keep connected to the adoption community by reading about other people’s adoption experiences through blogs and groups. This can offer invaluable information that will definitely help you when the time comes. Most people in the adoption community are very willing to share their experiences. Tap into their expertise.

At this point, Kazakhstan is not open for adoption. They are completing the certification for the Hague Convention and will be regulating their program accordingly. When this is complete- they will re-open.

~Angie
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Taking care of your family has to start with taking care of yourself. I do not do well in this area. I voluntarily work while everyone else is sitting or resting. I use that time to catch up on things that I have neglected. This is not always a good thing. There are so many draws on my time that I often feel tired and worn before my day has begun.

I am working to change that in my life. I believe that all of the children- foster, adopted or biological deserve a well rested mom. By pushing myself, I give them less than that. So, in light of that revelation, I try to join them when they sit- sometimes. It is not easy for me to do but I have made it a priority.

Foster children take so much out of their parents. They need so much time, attention and nurturing. It is not fair for them if they need but their parents have nothing to give. That is the reason for my change in priorities. I want each child to grow up knowing that I was there and solidly able to handle their issues alongside the issues that come with life. I know that they will emulate whatever I do. So I make my choices accordingly.

If you are fostering and feel overwhelmed, be sure to take time to regroup. Make an effort to sit when your family does- that is what the kids will remember.

~Angie
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She sure made me think about the many children that I know who have been adopted out of situations that were hard. Some of them are doing well- others struggle. Adoption of children out of foster care and tough situations is difficult work. It takes people like this woman that I met today dedicating themselves to making a difference.

There are many children in foster care that do not have enough of a foundation to make relationships with anyone. This is true of the families that they come to as foster children. Relationships are built on trust. Trust is not easy to rebuild when it has been shattered.

OSG does not have as much difficulty in this area because he was very young as a foster child and adopted early. He is black in a white family and deals with the issues that stem from that but knows that everyone is different. That was the easiest way for us to deal with his insecurities. Some people are tall- some not. Some people are big- some little. People look different from each other, dress different and act differently. Yet, as a family, we learn about the differences while focusing on the similarities. So far, this has given OSG a better perspective.

I hope that time and maturity will help OSG to hold onto the trust he has built with our family. I hope that when he is older he will make it. I know that everyone who adopts foster children have this dream for their child. It is a hard earned dream but worth every second. I am walking the journey and am excited to see what the future holds for my beloved OSG.

If you are working through issues that could be called ‘other people’s problems,’ hang in there. The kids that you are touching are learning to trust through you and your continued dedication. It might take a while for you to see the results but seeds are being planted. Every bit invested will make a difference- you can rest in that assurance. Life is too short to not invest fully in those who need it the most.

~Angie
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The good news is that there are many people stepping up to the plate. They want to make a difference in a child’s life and are willing to invest themselves in the greater good. I love that. I heard a quote recently that put everything in perspective for me. It is: To acknowledge that there is bad in the world is to compare it to the fact that there is also good…

Sometimes it is hard to see the good. The children who are coming into your home are hurt and needy, their birthparents are struggling (to put it kindly) and they require so much of a foster parent. Yet, I know that for every bad thing that is there- a good one trumps it. I like to call it one little word, “Gratitude.”

That word sounds so good rolling off your lips. Try it. Say, “I am grateful.”

Ahhh… Don’t you feel better. We do have so much to be grateful for and our children do to- all of them. Even our foster kids. They have a home, food, schooling and often friends. They have lost in their lives but many people have. The power of seeing what you have and being grateful for it allows good to trump evil. I try to remember that as I work through the latest hurdle I am facing. Stepping back for a moment and getting a good hard look into life will allow the observant one to see the good. It is everywhere.

The foster care system is good. It is allowing hope for children and families. That is what each foster parent must focus on. If that focus is lost, the heart is lost as well. Without a heart for children and the situations that they find themselves in- a foster parent is not truly fulfilling their ultimate goal.

As you live your life- look for the good. It is there. It is prevalent. It just needs focus. That good has the power to change a life.

~For that I am grateful~

Angie
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If only it was that easy. Many children who have been in the foster care system before they are adopted struggle for long periods of their lives (if not all.) The main reason for the struggle is a lack understanding and acceptance of the situation as it is. This lack of acceptance is not always because they are rebellious. Quite often it is because when someone suffers emotional trauma, they are stunted in that area. This is not easy to overcome. I know many foster/adoptive parents who work through issues on a daily basis with their adult adoptive children that [perhaps] should have been dealt with when they were children. It is not an easy thing to witness. If it is that hard to watch, I hate to think how difficult it is to walk through.

One way that I have attempted to sidestep the long-term emotional trauma for the children under my care is to deal always in truth and leave my own feelings out of it. I know that sounds pious. It is not intended to. It is simply the easiest way that I know of to bring respect to my children and the situation that they find themselves in. I have heard other parents of adopted children (especially adopted foster children because of the contact with birthparents) speak so harshly and unjustly of their child’s birthparents. This breaks my heart because a child will feel loyalty to their birthparents. The confusion of this loyalty, loyalty to their foster/adoptive parents and the animosity that results causes further trauma for the child. It is not worth it for me to let my feelings dictate.

All of the work that is invested into a foster/adoptive child’s life is worth the pain. The truth will allow them to deal with their feelings and move on. That is when they will grow.

~Angie
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I do not think that there is an easy answer to this question because there are so many factors to consider. First, how long has the child been with your family? Are you headed for adoption? Can you handle the emotional stress that is occurring and continue to offer a proper and stable home?

I know a young girl who was faced with this exact heartache. She lost her husband in an accident and was left with 5 children- 3 biological, 2 foster. The children had been with them many years and were to be adopted but the game had changed. The family not only lost the father figure, it also lost the main breadwinner. The questions that had to be dealt with were painfully clear. Should the mother keep the foster children under her roof as they had been for years? Could she possibly meet their emotional needs, the ones of her biological children and still cope with the loss?

She did. She kept the foster children (who are now adopted.) She hit rock bottom. She struggled but she held on because she knew that all of the children in her care were important. She had invested so much into her foster children and loved them as though they were her own- how could she lose them too? Surprisingly, the case worker agreed. I am not certain how often this occurs but in this case, it did. The years have passed for this young mother with a big heart. She grieved. Her children grieved. One day, things looked brighter. They missed what they had lost but crept forward. Today, she is remarried. The children appear to be normal. They have felt the sting of loss, so some of the innocence is lost but they have survived- together. Their family unit continues to strengthen. It is a beautiful picture of a life well lived.

It is because of this one example; I believe that anything is possible for all children. Every child deserves a home. That is no guarantee of perfection but love and dedication.

~Angie
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The Joint Council is looking to help you [the adoptive parent] combat this in the lives of your children. They are offering “…a panel of adult adopted people…[who will] reflect back on how being adopted shaped their identity. The panel will answer questions and give adopted parents practical insight into how they can best support their children to form a healthy sense of self.

This discussion panel will occur on Tuesday, May 22 @ 7 pm Central time. The question and answer period will immediately follow from 8-8:30.

This is an amazing opportunity to delve into the minds of previously adopted children who are now adults and can deal with the issues with the maturity that adulthood brings. I am looking forward to this time to focus on the heart of adoption- helping the children find themselves in the midst of a world that is often hard and challenging.

If you are interested in being part of or listening into this panel check out the Joint Council website. There are links available there to join.

Self-esteem issues are so prevalant among children and teens. This is magnified in the lives of the adopted children that we love. Anything that we, as parents, can do to understand and make the transitions that our children face is worth every bit of time, effort and expense. I will let you know how this went if you can’t tune in. I am intending on being involved and learning through the loves of those who have walked the path before me. Hope you can make it.

~Angie
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